Triggering (SI) - A&E wont treat me, so drastic measures.....
Please do NOT read this any further if you are concerned about being triggered or upset by graphic content.
I have been self-harming for over 9 years now, going to A&E recently upto 3 times a day for over 2 weeks at times for treatment.
But recently, due to the number of times i have been to A&E, they have threatened to refuse treatment for me. And they treat me extremely badly, sometimes stitching me up without using Anesthetic.
This may not be proper practise, maybe they are not allowed to refuse any kind of treatment, self-inflicted or not, but they are and can at times.
So, lately now when i self-harm, i do not see the point of going to A&E to be refused or treated badly, so i have been sowing myself up. Yes, very, very dangerous, easy for infection etc to get in, i know all the risks. But if this is the risks i have to take, then i guess so be it.
A&E have said to me when i confronted them about not using anesthetic, they say "well i thought you liked the pain" and such stuff like that. How pathetic, they really just dont get it or understand, they dont even want to try and understand. To them, they are trying to save lives, and here i am trying to ruin mine. But it still isnt right.
could you go to your GP and talk to them about hopw you are being treated in A&E??
or could you write to - um......... its not trading standards buts the hopspital equivalent to trading standards - i'll look it up - but yeah wriote to them sying how poorly you are being treated in A&E
also see if there are some kinds of code of practise they should be following and if they are not then your complaints can be taken with seriousness
sorry your being treated so badly - its just not on!!
The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]
Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!
Thank you both for your replies. I will try and find someone to write or talk to, i agree this is unfair and i also want to stop other people in the future experiencing this.
I guess you are right Girl_Afraid, i probably should try and reduce the severity of my self-harm, it would stop all this nonsense in A&E, its just difficult as over the years, i have had to do worse and worse to get the same impact/relief as i had when i first did superficial wounds years back.
i know over time its easier for things to get worse as you seek more pain and such but do your best to reduce the serverity of your injuries and maybe they will ease up with you
The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]
Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!
If your self-harming is that severe and frequent, surely the hospital should have given you some kind of psychological help to prevent you going back with more injuries!
It is wrong the way they are treating you, totally out of order and I'm not saying I agree with the way you are being treated at all, but imagine it from the hospital staffs point of view.
Please try and take care of yourself, hope you are ok.
~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
Its not right what they are saying but yes i do agree that a-you should be offered further help and b- think about their point of view. If you're visiting several times a day...they dont know you, you're life and arent readily equipped to deal with one patient so regularly. NHS resources are streched right now. I'm not syaing they should be able to talk to you in this manner, no one can. But at the end of the day think about it their way that keep patching you up and sending you away for you to return several hours later. So perhaps this is why you get such a reception from them. I'm not sure what the story is with the anaesthetic.
They should be referrin you to further help. Talk to your GP. If you need to take this further when you should, but i think you should focus on taking care of yourself right now and getting the real help that you deserve.
But I'd also agree with everyone else. Try and get some other help from somewhere. A treatment program, a therapist or psych, maybe possibly inpatient if it's that serious. It sounds like you're not in a good place right now, and as much as your wounds need to be treated correctly, so does your mind. Mental health is no different from physical health, if you're not well, you need to get better with help.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
What would you like us to say? A+E treat me the same. At the end of the day refusing treatment is wrong and against the law. If you want to do something about it then contact PALS or the C.A.B.
ok, on the sewing them up yourself front... I have done this many time, resulted in some nasty scars from the first few times, and some ad infections... I have gotten better at it now, but still BAD IDEA!!!
on the A&E front, I guess they may think that you are becoming dependent upon them and so are trying to discourage your use of them in the hope that it will discourage the SI, I know it sounds stupid but I used to work on an A&E ward and the method was used a few times on drug addicts and stuff... though usually when they do it they offer a psych consult when they first tell you that they don't want the person coming in everyday...
there are particular places and channels you can use to complain, I can't remember them off the top of my head though so shall go find them and post them later.
DO you have any professional support? if so could you tell them about how A&E are treating you? then they can contact them, you'd be amazed how much a letter from an "official" person can do...
Otherwise is there a walk in centre or minor injuries unit that you could use?
The link doesnt work, :S
Might just be my computer though. What do i google search?
It links to a PDF, do you have the right plugin installed? The title of the leaflet is "The short term physical and psychological management and secondary prevention of self harm in primary and secondary care".
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
hey ... okay so when i read your post,my first reaction (and im just bein honest here so please dont get p*ssed! ;) ) was I felt really bad for the staff at the A&E.
I'm NOT trying to make you feel guilty,but just think of them for one momment. Again:Not trying to make you feel guilty!!! I'm just trying to help you mabye understand their reactions. While how they reacted isnt right, think of how they may be feeling. From their position,all they can do is stitch you up and send you home,right? They cant give you what you need-they cant give you a program or a safe home to stay in to begin healing/recovery. If they have any heart at all,it must be killing them to see you in so much pain so often!!!They might WANT to help you,but the help theyre giving you isnt what you need. (stitches are helpful but they dont fix the underlying problem)
Okay I kno I'm getting close to laying on the guilt trip,which is not what i mean to do at all. I'm trying to say that people love you and care about you (if you dont believe me just talk to the people on these boards at least). You have a future and hope. You just need to find it. Mabye by continuing to cut yourself and going to the a&e,you're doing-and going to the wrong place.
You need to go somewhere to begin healing. Yeah,mabye you're not ready to begin recovery,but hun,if you're going to the a&e that often,just think about it..wouldnt it be nice to trade in your pain and coping methods for a life of healing and helping others?
You have hope and a future! You just need to find it-quit looking at your coping methods and a&e,and find a new group of friends/support system,a counsilor...a healing house...SOMEWHERE where you can go to become the beautiful strong person that you can be!!!
I really feel that you dont belong in the a&e,you belong somewhere with people who can get to the root problem,instead of just treating the symptoms and ignoring the disease.
Search online or pm me for ideas on where you could go/people you could contact/organisations,etc :)
Hey--I really hope I didnt offend you in any way!! Please pm me if you want to talk further :)
It links to a PDF, do you have the right plugin installed? The title of the leaflet is "The short term physical and psychological management and secondary prevention of self harm in primary and secondary care".
Ok, well, I HAVE thought of the staff at A&E, i am not that heartless, insensitive and selfish. I know no one has accused me of that, but thats just my gut feeling.
That is why i mentioned about how i am trying to ruin my life and they are trying to save lives of genuine people.
I feel extremely guilty for this post now, so this may sound extreme and a bit pathetic, but i do not feel able to face anyone on this site anymore incase people think badly of me and hold this against me, si i will not be using this site any longer. i dont know how to delete this account, but i just wont use it anymore.
I am sorry to come across as a self-centred person, i am not usually. Sorry everyone. x
um...you didnt come accross like that and I totally dont think you're heartless,insensitive,selfish-whatever.!!!
im sorry you feel guilty about the post-you shouldnt. We've all been there.
I dont think badly about you/holding this against you. I feel like crap for potentially causing you to stop using this site. I pmed you,I'd really like it if you could write back,if you have time.
Love, really, none of us are judging you. We're just concerned, and would like to try to get you to help yourself, that's all.
To be honest, people don't remember threads, and even if they do, it's unlikely anyone will remember you did it. So if you like, make a new account or change your username if it'll make you feel better. But honestly, nobody think you're heartless or selfish or anything.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
Darling, please don't leave. No one will think bad of you, promise.
Like someone else suggested, re register/change your username, if itmight help? We're always here, dont worry x
I don't think you're being insensitive or anything! it was good that you were seeking medical help. All people meant was that your SI is obviously fairly regular sever and so maybe you need/would benefit from help and support other than the medical services of A&E? There is only so much a doctor can do, but the way they have treated you is still wrong, no matter how frustrated they have gotten they should not have left you in the position where your only choice if to treat yorself, they should have offered alternatives, and offered support to help you to cut down on your SI.
I have been in a similar position to you, hd to stop going to A&E as I was there too often and so ended up stitching my own wounds... eventually I had to go back and they did treat me, and explained that they thought they were doing something fo rhte best... it's hard to understand SI from an outside perspective and to many the idea that if there is no treatment a person is less likely to harm seems sensiable, of course it doesn't work this way, but it can be hard for non-SIers to realise this.
there are other places though, such as walk-in-centres and minor injury clinics that yo can go to
