Triggering (SI) - strangers.

justbreathe:) · 05-07-2009, 04:29 PM

Okay i know i just posted but i noticed that there are a lot of posts about peoples' cuts or scars being noticed by strangers or teachers or people they are not close with.

Welll, as frustrating as it is, i know, i was at a store the other day and was looking around. I was looking at a glass case of gauges and some guy on the other side starting talking to me. We talked about stuff, partying blahblahblah, and when he was standing next to me, i looked down at my arm and my scars were revealed. He kept talking to me and i kinda hoped he didnt see my scars. I moved on to another rack and he said he had to go and then very sympathetically, 'dont hurt yourself.' WTF?! how can strangers notice something so quickly and not hate you as maybe friends would? why why whyyyyyyy?!

alright sorry, had to share my experience.

this every happen to anyone else?

Popple · 05-07-2009, 04:34 PM

I have had a woman come and pat me on the back on a bus and tell me to take good care of myself lol.
I think sometimes when strangers react in a nicer way its probably because they have a better understand which is a good thing in someways although like when anyone notices it can be quite uncomfortable.
Also when its friends or family there is a lot more emotion involved because it hurts to see someone you care about hurting and not being able to help or know whats wrong.
x

justbreathe:) · 05-07-2009, 04:50 PM

thats true.
i never thought of it that way, that its easier for strangers because they dont love you the way family or friends do.

Gone. · 05-07-2009, 06:03 PM

I think with families and friends they are hurt that they dont know what to do and become too emotionally involved. Its strange that strangers identify it as quickly as they do... but nice (as long as they arent mean) at the same time...?

Sorry if I sound stupid.

Shinee.x

Raven · 05-07-2009, 06:10 PM

it can be uncomfortable. i find it uncomfortable anyway. i knew someone who named me tigera because of my stripey arms??? he gave me a similar sympathetic speech when i saw him for the last time.

my most recent one was while i was in the park with my daughter, my friend and her daughter. my friends new boyfriend was also there and as i reached up to help freyja down the slide he pointed at my arm and said HA! I KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING! strange....

but generally i find strangers quite difficult when it comes to scars. i get the stares, i get the people who try to look on the sly but its still blindingly obvious. i have had fights with people in pubs before about it because they reckon i should cover it up! argh

Wonderful. · 05-07-2009, 06:20 PM

I think that is really sweet. =]

I agree about strangers showing more compassion because they aren't emotionally attached...
Family and friends are usually hurt and confused by somebody they love harming themselves and I think that comes across as anger and stuff.

I once saw a self-harmer at a bowling alley when I was about 14 and I just had this overwhelming urge to just go up to her when she was alone and ask her if she was alright. She was a lot older than I was, but her scars weren't old... but I am a really sappy person! Everybody who knows me says I care too much about people, so yeah. =p
*pointless post. Lolz.

Shellybelly · 05-07-2009, 09:14 PM

i know i was in walmart and i was buying razors (for legit reasons) and the cashier held them up looked me dead in the eye and said be careful with these
i was so embarressed

TinkerDebs · 05-07-2009, 09:18 PM

some people have the ability to see self harm as a cry for help and so if they see it they dont think omg they think - poor them and feel the need to provide some supportive words

i think i've been told 'not to hurt myself' before - tisa kinda caring of them really to think that they dont know you and that they dont want you to have to hurt yourself in that way

Mademoiselle Lola. · 05-07-2009, 09:25 PM

how sweet of him. :)

I think that family and friends shouldn't make such a big deal of cutting. It's your decision, your choice (if you can call it ''choise'') and, as long as you are not threatening your life they should get over it and let you feel good,not guilty for at least 10 minutes a day.

justbreathe:) · 06-07-2009, 07:35 AM

thanks for responses :)