Triggering (SI) - 3 months

lozza · 03-07-2009, 01:04 AM

Well today marks 3 months since I last cut and I know I should be happy and proud of myself but something in me just keeps saying 'give up, just cut... if you slip up now it wont hurt as much... you havnt gotten that far yet anyway'

I do not understand this. 3 months... this is a good thing right??
So why does this then feel so wrong???

I am trying to be proud of myself, to be happy, to keep going strong.

But ella is screaming at me... 'just give up, just give up'
...maybe pdoc was right... maybe ella is really trying to sabotage me?

I just want to be free, to keep going, to not cut as it only steals so much from my life and stops me from being who I really am... but its just so hard... I hate this!

3 months is good right?

crazykat · 03-07-2009, 01:06 AM

3 months is brilliant sweetheart, please try not to listen to ella. I think you know if you were to slip up how much you would regret it. You can fight this. Well done, you are amazing :)

lozza · 03-07-2009, 03:06 AM

thanks ket
am trying, just so loud right now:(

I msged a friend earlier on, asking her if she could tell me to take prn in few hours... she said she would set an alarm....

so hard, hurts a lot

Popple · 03-07-2009, 07:17 AM

How you feeling now?
3 months is amazing sweetie. Well done =)
x

lozza · 03-07-2009, 07:40 AM

thanks sweetie

not really feeling much better but am trying still... if its worth anything

akita · 03-07-2009, 07:57 AM

3 months is an amazing effort Loz, keep going.

Revival · 03-07-2009, 08:46 AM

3 months is amazing sweetheart especially with everything you're going through. You're right Ella is trying to sabotage you because the longer you go without SI the less you need her. I know its incredibly hard but try not to listen to her , did you take your prn? *holds tight* hang in there Loz you're doing well

lozza · 03-07-2009, 08:51 AM

thanks guys
and yeh did take prn but its not helping at all:(

Tuesday · 07-07-2009, 11:48 PM

3 months is an amazing achievement, you deserve to be happy and feel proud of yourself :) xx

Manders331 · 08-07-2009, 03:16 AM

Hey 3 months is amazing! I've never gotten that far. So you should be very proud of yourself hun. I know it's hard to slip up, but just keep going. Im here if you ever need anything. Just dont give up! <3

one_step_closer · 08-07-2009, 06:33 PM

You're doing brilliantly, you can keep doing well.

Cazki · 08-07-2009, 11:27 PM

Congratulations on three months!! Thats awesome!! I'm sorry that your not feeling great. Keep fighting, dont give up.

Take care best wishes Ian

frizzly · 09-07-2009, 10:16 AM

love you. you are stronger than ella. you are!!! 3 months is amazing hunni. im proud of u always, your fighting her even tho its really hard. i will be here for u no matter what and thats a promise xx