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Triggering (SI) - Why? (poem)
Why?
Inside her head she wonders why,
her tears like rain she begins to cry.
That scared little girl, inside she stays,
but here alone in the dark she prays.
She prays for someone to love and care.
She prays for someone to just be there.
She knows inside, she has always,
no one will come, but still she prays.
Thoughts rush about up in her head,
she moves to sit upon her bed,
barefooted, silently she creeps,
she's all alone now as she weeps.
Upon her bed, blade in hand
She stares at skin, this wasn't planned
She remembers the fear, the hurt the pain
She goes through it all in her mind again
Inside her heart there's a massive hole
She feels so empty, broken, unwhole
She needs to do this to survive,
it's all that's keeping her alive.
She knows there's no way she can win,
so again to this pain she just gives in
the blade hits her arm again and again,
'till blood is falling like the rain
It slowly trickles onto her bed
No longer she wishes she were dead.
Again now she is able to feel
But with the devil she's made this deal.
She know's it won't last very long,
again tomorrow it'll all go wrong,
again then she will have to hide
her shameful secrets deep inside.
Why do you not understand?
Why can you not take her hand?
Why can you not show her the way?
Why can you not find anything to say?
Why do you hate her so much?
And why do you look at her in disgust?
And why through this poem can you still not see,
that little girl I speak of, is me.
Wrote this a LONG time ago, at the height of my self-harm. I was probably about 13 at the time, my only excuse for how rubbish it is... Haven't read it for years. Thought I would share...
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