Triggering (SI) - School noticed >.<

[Tia4tw]

So i started SI-ing again about a month ago, stress+school+short temper+guilt = Very Triggered
A teacher spotted the marks on my arm and reported it ot my head of year and i have untilt he end of next week to decide whether i want councelling.
Both my head of year and the counellor person agreed that i should tell my dad, i told them no becaus ei didn't know how he'd react but of course i wanted to say 'Not a snowflakes chance in hell!' So i have no clue what to do. . . .
A friend recognised i was upset and asked what was up and i told him and now he says he has no opinion of me and he's sorry and then asked me if i would promise him never to SI again and i said i couldn't, he asked if i would promsie my girlfriend to never SI again and i told him i couldn't that it is a lot more complicated than that and he logged off, he did have to go to be fair but i dont think he thinsk fo me the same way anymore just because of that whih is upsetting as my other friends accepted it and realsied that this was something they couldn't understand and taking everything away would make me worse and find something else to use and i dont want to lose him as a friend just because of this.
I have a girlfriend now and she is so understanding and i love her so much but i dont know if i can tell her because i dont want to lose her because she is so amazing and i dont think i could handle losing her.
ALl of those things and other things going on are just bubblign up inside me and i can feel myself getting triggered and im starting to feel worse because i feel like im addicted and i'll never be able to stop. So all i want to do at the moment is get my blades that i've hidden and cut myself but then i think about how school will freak out on monday and say how i need to tell my dad and i dont want to because i dont want him to tell me im doing this all over nothing and the thought of the different arguements and allt he restrictions he'd possibly put on me make me even mroe upset and triggered.

[momo432]

i'm sure your friend doesn't think of you badly now, he might just not understand how addictive sh is and everything.
same with your girlfriend - i'm sure she'd prefer it if she found out because you told her than if she just saw the cuts or heard it from someone else.

i don't know what to say about your dad - everyone's parents react differently, but your dad would also probably prefer to find out about it from you than through school ringing him and telling him.

hope you're ok, stay strong,
izzy xx

[Gone.]

I dont know what to say- my head is spinning at the moment, I just wanted you to know that I read and I cared.

Feel free to PM me, if you do Ill reply tomorrow when I can hopefully think straight.

Maybe its a good idea to try counselling? If you dont want to tell your dad then thats fair enough, maybe you could list the good/bad consequences of doing that?
Your friend is obviously having a hard time undersdtanding- I suppose... I dont know what to say concerining that- soryy... very drunkk right now.

:) Shinee.x

[Katiee]

Hey,

Maybe counselling might be a good idea, sweet. You'll be able to talk about what's going on, what's on your mind, ect and understand why your self-harming and what you could do instead and such. It might be really good use to you. Just give it a go and see what happens.

Telling your Dad might seem really scary and such because you don't know how he'll react.. though I think it might be a good thing if he knows. He'll be able to support you once he understands and everything. If you do tell him, he might seem angry at first but that's alright. It'll be a shock. He'll just be worried about you and might not know how to re-act. Once he gets over the shock and you talk to him more and maybe give him some information on it, he'll be able to support you.

Your friend, I'm sure it's just a shock to him and he doesn't understand about self-harming obviously if he asked you to PROMISE not to harm. It's addictive. You can't stop 'just like that'. So maybe you need to give him some infromation or explain to him about it? Or just give him some time.

Hope you're alright. I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything. Take care and hope everything goes alright. xo.

[Tia4tw]

Thanks everyone, i managed to not give in last night and i still need to think about councelling.
*hugs to everyone who gave me hugs and advice and support*