Triggering (SI) - fighting no longer

[riverdreams]

yesterday was so hard i had such a fight on my hands i was somehow able to fight the urges that kept coming all day fight the thoughts away that i wanted and needed to cut that i want and needed to hurt myself
it was hard but i did it but today the urges and the thoughs have come back bigger then they were yesterday and twice already today i was unable to fight them and now tonight as i sit here doing this i have this overwhelming urge and i have been fighting against it but now i have no fight left and i am ready to just give up fighting

[TinkerDebs]

please dont give up
you did well yesterday to get through without giving in and i know that its hard to consrtantly spend you rday fighting
your doing well to be trying and i can understand why you feel you cant fight anyt longer
but please keep trying
you are doing well
do distractions not work??
could yuo maybe talk to me as a way to combat the urge??
*hugs*

[riverdreams]

i have used every distraction that usually works for me but i am out of distractions now
i am better of just giving in

[TinkerDebs]

please dont give in
do you have some pens and opaper handy
if so sketch out an arm and a hand
and then with a red felt pen - sraw all the cuts you want to make
and then in another colour pen write everything you feel right now
and see if that is enough to get the urge out of you

[riverdreams]

i am done with fighting this there is no point anymore
it would be better to just give in wouldnt it?????????

[TinkerDebs]

but you have to think about how you will feel about this in a few days time
you may need it now but are you going to regret this in a few days and then wish you'd held out and stayed safe
*hugs*

[riverdreams]

cannot fight anymore
have had enough of fighting this

[TinkerDebs]

*hugs*

[mesmerized.]

Hey,

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I know it's hard. But you've done so well to make it this far, it just shows how strong you are. Keep trying to distract yourself, keep reminding yourself that you're in control and you don't have to do anything. I understand feeling like you're too tired to fight anymore and it'd be better just to give in. I don't think it would help in the long run. When I've felt like that, I've found that what helps most is just to curl up in a duvet or something, watch a good film. Be gentle with myself. But whatever works best for you is fine.
Do you know what's triggered this off? Or has everything just been building up? Have you thought anymore about trying to talk to someone?
I'm here if you need to talk or anything. Take care, and if you do end up hurting yourself, just be careful xo

[TinkerDebs]

heya
how are you doing today??
were you able to get through the night safely??
*hugs*

[Psiren]

*cuddles*
How are you feeling today sweetheart?
<3

[riverdreams]

really not feeling so good
i couldnt fight it anymore and finally gave into the urge
today has been no better

[mesmerized.]

*offers hugs*

I'm sorry you gave in, but it's brilliant that you tried so hard. And you did do really well to manage for as long as you did. Please make sure you take care of your cuts. You can still do this, just pick yourself up and keep going. Keep trying to find other ways to cope. You will get there.
What's making things so hard right now?
Here if you need someone xo

[riverdreams]

fighting again fighting hard fighting with every last bit of strength i have but i am beginning to loose fight
yesterday i was able to fight till the very end but today i am not so sure that that is going to happen i am so fed up with fighting i dont feel lilke i can fight anymore
as much as i tell myself i can as much as i find other things to do things that keep my hands busy once i sit back down the urge remains the same and the fight i had at the beginning of the day is fadeing fast
its going going no its gone

[riverdreams]

i did the best i could but that was not good enough
and now i have done it once i am fighting with myself to not do it again

[riverdreams]

i can do this i can fight this gotta keep telling myself this
but then again

nope i CANNOT fight this