Triggering (SI/Substance abuse) - My boyfriend the alcoholic

[discovery_journey]

i haven't been seeing my bf long. he's an alcoholic. i met him on the psych ward when we were both inpatients.

we're both out now.

thing is, he's gone back on the booze.

i don't know the best way to handle it.

do i say, 'i won't see you unless you're sober', or what?

he wanted me to go over to his and share a bottle of wine this evening, but i said no.

i feel like i'm being treated like ****. like i'm second best to alcohol.

am i best just quitting this thing now and walking away?

when he's sober he is lovely and caring.

is he seeing anyone for it? or would he consider going on a detox?
i have a relative who is going through the detox at the moment, and the symptoms of it are awful,i know how u feel when you say u feel like ur second best to it.

sorry i can't be of much help but im not qualified in drink etc
but id say u might need to give it a think about the relationship

[discovery_journey]

thx,
think am going to give up on the relationship. it's making me ill.

He's a lovely guy but just caught up in the grips of alcoholism. It's a total nightmare. He has been in hosp many times in the past two years to try and detox.

When i met him in hosp he was sober and it was great. But I can't handle the drunk him. Don't get me wrong, he's not violent. I just can't handle seeing him drunk. My dad drinks a bit you see. It's just too similar.

When he was sober he was saying if he fell off the wagon again his psych might send him to a year long rehab programme. I don't know if it will happen. I hope it happens. he needs help.

I worry cos when he drinks it makes him even more depressed and that's when dangerous things happen.

I guess I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm torn.

I want to help him cos I like him, but I need to look after me too.

yeh i know what u mean, it is a depressant, affects me in the same way sometimes, but im not too bad on it tonight, it is hard to give up when u have had it for so long, i myself have a problem with the stuff.

i can understand that its making u ill, cant be nice its a nasty thing to get hooked on

[eyes.wide.open]

i can relate.
my dads an alcohol\addict. so i know exactly what you mean.
im struggling at the moment with the same thing.. when is it time to give up? will you ever be able to trust them again? it makes me so miserable. and you cant get mad at them because they are already upset at themselves so much that you dont want to drive them further down thier path of destruction. ok. rant on my life overwith.

hrm, this is a tricky situation. you are right though. you cant help anybody untill you help yourself first. maybe you could write him a letter and encourage him to get help. let him know you care about him, you dont want to see him hurt, and that its hurting you too. tell him that hes not really him when hes drunk. tell him you want the real him back, and that you know he wants the real him back too.

i hope everything works out
pm me anytime, seems like we have some things in common
*hug*