Triggering (Suicide) - They say I dont warrent hospital admission - so what does???!
Sorry, here i post another thread.. again.
Just wondering really. I have spoke to crisis team twice in the past week, went to a and e and got given some diazepam and sent home, od'd and ended up in a and e, seen early intervention, all in the past week.
I have expressed i have a plan still, and how unsafe i feel. I say that i have equipment to kill myself with. i Say that i am going to do something soon. I am unsafe.
Yet I dont merit to be admitted to hospital.
So what does? Do i actually need to attempt to kill myself before someone listens. I KNOW im going to do something and i cant seem to stop myself. Im telling people in the hope they will stop me and help me live.
I am expressing thoughts that i need to kill The White Man. I am scared I will act out on these thoughts.
I have been in hospital before, both adult and child.
I think the NHS is probabaly only trying to save money. I wish i could go private.
What should i do if i am unable to keep myself safe?x
Hmmm, I understand how horrible this must be for you.
If you don't feel safe could you just stay with someone like a family member/friend until you do if you can't get addmitted to hospital? Please try not to hurt yourself, sweetie. I'm here if you need me. xo.
If you've been in hospital numerous times before, they may find that you're becoming too dependant on it (and begin to expect it during difficult times) and that by seeing yourself through these difficult times by relying on the Crisis Team/A&E you will then begin to teach yourself how to get through these times without having to be hospitalised each time.
Right now you may not see that side of things, and that the only way to keep yourself safe is to be in hospital - but from my point of view, anything is possible inside AND out of hospital, so if you were still deadset on going through with a suicide plan while in hospital you will find anyway possible to go about it regardless. So they may not feel hospital will help you. I've often seen people in your position who have been begging to be admitted but haven't for the exact reasons i've stated - professionals are reluctant to let people become dependant on hospital because it can actually be more detrimental to your recovery.
Is there a friend/family member who is able to keep an eye on you through this difficult time? Or possibly express how you're feeling to the Crisis Team and ask for regular phonecalls/home visits - or hand over any medication/equipment you have to them which will make you feel safer atleast in the short term.
Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. It sounds like you're really going to have to work hard with the crisis team, but as Acrasia said, this is a good opportunity to learn how to cope in the community without resorting to hospital. Hospital is not always an option, like now it seems, and its really quite valuable knowing how to manage without an admission.
As always, if you are about to do something then make sure you ring your crisis team to talk it through and get some support, or get back to A&E.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Everyone makes sense really. I guess i need to learn how to deal with things outside. Im just looking for a short term solution really.
Not, really, no, there is no-one after tomorrow. I can stay here tonight but tomorrow i am going to claim homeless and go into a hostel or somewhere, where no-one will be around to stop me, which worries me more that i will do stuff.
I dont really have any friends close by, and I dont speak to my family much.
I will defo keep the crisis number close by though, and i hope they will help me. To be honest i am torn bewteen wanting help and wanting to kill myself but the urge is so strong.
I have been smoking more and drinking more (i was a non smoker and a rare drinker) just to get by.
I dont know if youd be put in Ayton or Cooks but if it were the Cooks your *definately* better tryin to ge thtough it at home. Youve been to Ayton and thats pretty bad but Cooks is honestly the worst hospital, by far, that ive been in and ive been to 5 (lol). And also last time i was in ayton (Feb) it was full of old people pissing and shittin everywhere it was awful. One of the reasons they ,might not want to admit you right now is that the other patients in there could make you even worse. That happened to me when i was 14. They were gonna put me in the newberry, arranged everything and then changed their mind as the patients in there at the time couuld have made me even worse than i was.
With you being pretty much homeless you could ask to be put in Sunningdale till you get yourself sorted. I was in there for like 4 hours before been transferred and it seemed okay. Rooms were nice-ish and staff seemed okay too. Just an option a bit idfferent to hospital but where you can access help. xx Stay safe honey xx
Tell them youll wait for a bed in sunningdale i think the trunovers pretty fast and ask them to put your name down for the next bed or something. And yeh if they say its stressful in st lukes better off staying out of there it was stressfull situation both times ive been in and it was awful.
Im homeless and went to the hostel today. they were going to give me a bed until they read my risk assessment. they say they cant support me enough to be there and obviously dont want to take the risk.
