Triggering (SI/Substance Abuse) - Help. Please?

[Kvieta Vindi]

Lately, I've been falling back into my 'mood,' so to speak. I'm questioning the point of life, why I'm even alive, and I've ruined a friendship. I can't focus on anything. I'm always tired, but can't fall asleep, and when I do, I sleep forever. I don't feel like doing anything. Basically, all the symptoms of a depression. Not like I'm going to do anything about that.

I've started cutting again-- I even got a new [tool]. I took it from my father's bathroom cabinet. Lovely, isn't it? I like it. It's sharp.

I've been sneaking pills.. And I know that isn't any good. I like the way it makes everything seem less real, and I just don't care about anything anymore, even more so. It makes me calm. I'm hardly ever calm. I take them from the medicine cabinet.

I've been seeing Shadow Man more; and others as well. Hearing Voices..
I've been having what I assume to be panic attacks, a lot more often than usually. I've been getting more OCDish again. Having to check my door is closed a million times before leaving the house, etc.

I don't know what to do. It's driving me insane. Help? Please?

[tamobhuuta]

i think you need to tell someone. your doctor maybe? and meanwhile do your best to stay safe. sorry i'm not more supportive, but that's all i have to suggest right now.

[GrimmFaerieTale]

Hey.

Like waiting in the dark said, can you talk to a professional about what's going on for you at the moment? In terms of practical advice, could you set yourself up a routine in terms of sleeping and stick to it? For example, going to bed at 10pm and getting up at 8am, even if you don't sleep then, and not sleeping at any other time? It might help your body figure out what time it is meant to sleep and might help it get into a regular sleeping pattern. Could you put your tool back into the cabinet and leave it there? Rather than having it in your room or where ever? Or even better, put it somewhere where you can't access it. But somewhere where it's not so easy to get at.

Sorry I haven't got much advice x

[Kvieta Vindi]

I don't have a doctor. I'm talking to my Science teacher from last year, somewhat. I also talk to my teacher, at least the ones I trust a bit.

[tamobhuuta]

have you told your science teacher as much as you can about what's going on?

[strawberrykitten]

Hey sweetheart,
I can't really tell you that your any different to myself, because in some ways.. we are exactly the same. Although abusing pills is not the way to control yourself, maybe you could find another way to calm yourself down? Perhaps if you don't want to talk to a professional about how you feel, or what your going through, you could find comfort in talking to someone else, perhaps a friend or a complete stranger like myself. Someone who can't judge you. I found opening up about my problems and talking about them completely freely has helped me not SH.. although its only been two weeks, thats really an achievement for me..
PM me anytime you want hunny. x