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fail
i had got up the nerve to ctc my local addictions palce (for alcohol).
Couldnt even manage to call...had to email.
Had intial appt/asess. set up.
Was cancelled as intake wrkr was out ill....
and now i seem to have lost the drive to rebook....so how 'sincere' was my intial desire if this minor setback stops me??!!
I really need help with this, i know that.
Its causing med. problems now.
Yet...i still reach for that next drink....
Its an excuse, yes, but it is the only thing i have right now to help shut up my head and make me relax.
So why cant i make the call???
She sounded so friendly and easy to talk to.
Why cant i do what needs to be done, take responsibility ffs!?
I just suck....
the beginning of this week seemed to finally offer hope of moving in the right direction between the appt there and a MH assessment...I got fvck all (surprise!) from the MH again and now i seem unable to reach for this too now....
I used to be so strong, so capable....now im nothing.
And im running out of strength to keep pulling myslef up to ...nowhere...again...
blah..sorry...what a pathetic moan.
Suck it up, i know.
im trying
and failing
romp
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