Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - I've said nothing for so long.
I know that this isnt so bad compared to what other people have been through, but for me it was still pretty scary. I hope I've put this thread in the right place and laybeled it right.
So about 2-3 Years ago now, me and my best friend at the time(I dont seem to be able to keep friends for very long) were walking back from her paper round and take a short-cut home as usual. Its a very thin ally-way and it was just starting to get dark. As we get about half way down theres a tall man on the other side walking towards us. I tell myself that theres nothing to be scared of. Turns out there was something to be scared of. When he gets to us he walked past me but pushed my friend off the path and asks her "Do you want you fanny licking?" She just pushes him out the way and we walk home. She didnt seem botheres but I was pretty freaked out. She tells me, no makes me promise not to tell anyone about it.
The same thing happens again about 2 weeks later but with a different guy, this guy decides to put his arm across the ally to block our path and asks the same question. Luckily my friend pushed him out the way as well. I know all this may seem very small compared to what others have been through but atm i cant stop thinking about this even though it was years ago. I cant help but be grateful that I wasn't alone, if I was I think it would of been a lot lot worse than it was. But then at the same time I think I should of been on my own, cause maybe then I'd have a reason to be this messed up.
I don't know what to do about any of this. My parents dont know. And i dont think ive told anyone until now, if i have I cant remember it. (I have a very bad memory)
Sorry to go on like this, its just this is really getting to me atm, i dont know why.
hey, tell your parents that some men have been approaching you and making sexual comments towards you.
how old are you? if you're underage then this is a police matter, imagien if these men do come across a young girl on her own, they may not be so easily pushed aside and might not take no for an answer. what if that girl is you one day?
please do tell someone. if its embarassing to tell your parents then tell them the basics but explain that its embarassing but you'll tell the police in more detail. they will be so proud of you for doing the right thing.
*hugs* you could maybe also get some counselling because it is traumatic, even if it was just a threatening situation, it is very scary. your parents could help you get counselling to help you feel more positive and to maybe help your anxiety a bit. have you ever considered carrying a personal safety alarm (rape alarm) so if you are ever alone and someone approaches you again you can at least deter them and someone could come to help you.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
First of all don't compare your situation to anyone elses because all that matters is the way you feel and this has obviously upset you a lot.
Did your friend ever say why she didn't want you to tell anyone?
I know it can be ver scary when things like this happen so you have every right to be upset but you shouldn't have to deal with this on your own whatever your friend said.
Is there anyone you trust you think you could speak to about it?
Feel free to pm me if you need anything love
Take care of yourself
x
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
Hey thanks for replying.
I'm only 14 but I wouldnt have to confidence to say anything to the police, and my mum would totaly over react. But i cant even bare the thought of them doing something worse to someone else. :S
I already have a counseller, but i cant talk to her very much about anything. :/
If you don't want to go the police that is fine, it is your decision and you do whats right for you because only you know that.
If you do I am sure you mum would just be worried about you.
Why do you think it is you can't talk to your counsellor? It is ok to ask to see someone else if you think it would help.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
I dont know why I cant talk to my counseller. Thats why i come on here, its easier just to type everything out than it is to speak it. Others have sujested I write a letter, but no matter what I do im always going to end up having to talk to her. And I just cant. I freeze up. I dont think it would change no matter who i saw.
It takes a long time to start being able to talk and I am sure if you wrote and explained that she would understand just because you have written things doesn't mean you have to talk about them, you take your time and I promise you it is possible to start being able to talk but the longer you avoid it the more you build up a fear associated with talking that makes it harder to talk.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
as has been said NEVER compare siturations or experiances, I know it's hard but as has been said you're the important one in this
talking to people is hard, and takes alot of time...
maybe you could write a letter and explain at the end that you fidn talking hard and maybe allow them to ask you yes/no questions for you to nod or shake your head to as a starting point? and then slowly build up?
