Triggering (SI/OD) - I think i've been dismissed

[Piglet]

I've just got back from my appointment with the counsellor and it feels like they've given up on me.

I could hear them talking about me throught the wall while i was waiting and maybe i'm being paranoid but i feel like they don't think they can help and think i'm not trying, i heard the phrase 'not very forthcoming'. But I am trying, i just find it very difficult to talk about this and put how i'm feeling into words, surely they would understand that.

I had an assessment with the CMHT on monday and am waiting for an appointment with a psychiartist but i feel like i've just been left to fend for myself untill thats sorted.

The counsellor has arranged for me to see someone from the mental health service which is based more on academic support, which would help but not on it's own.

Over the last week my anxiety and SH have gotten a lot worse and i've felt so bad that the other day i ignored the warnings on all my medication and got very drunk. I told the counsellor i'd been thinking a lot about ODing and had been tempted a few times but i just felt like she wasn't interested.

At the end of the session she said we would meet next week to see how i got on with the mental health advisior but it was upto me if i saw her again or not. But from the way she said it it felt like today would be the last session and next week would be the last time and just to wrap things up.

I'm feeling so triggered right now. If the people who are susposed to be helping me don't care what's the point of me trying?

[susieannah]

Could you explain you find it very hard to talk about things, and tha tyou would like if they could help you find a way to become more open? I always struggled terribly with talking about things, but I've improved heaps since meeting with my new therapist (been seeing her for a couple of months and have made more progress in this short time than in the year I was seeing the one a few years ago!). Sometimes it's just not the right time, or you need to find other ways of talking with them. Would they consider different types of therapy (art therapy, cbt, etc)? The point in trying is that it's you that trying helps. Not trying isn't going to bother them, but it will make things a hell of a lot worse for you! Maybe you could write things down in your own time to hand to your psyc during the session, that way you are getting thoughts across without the embarrassment and difficulty of talking aloud.

I'm thinking of you hun *hugs*

[Piglet]

Ok turns out i got the wrong end of the stick. I had a rant to my tutor about it and he went and takled to them. I've just had a phone call saying they're all part of the same team and they do care etc etc. Why couldn't they have said that yesterday. I feel like a right idiot now.

[whirlpools]

it's easily done, trust me, most of us have :) you did the right thing by ranting to your tutor. maybe if it happens again you could check it out with your counsellor. glad it turned out okay.

[susieannah]

I'm glad things turned out ok in the end! *hugs*