Becks, as i understand the network called 'hearing voices' is an international network. I Think if you could get the staff to help you look into that and get in touch with them it could make a difference. If that is not possible, i Think they at least need to bring in someone else who knows the in's and out's of voices.
It's hard when you feel like you can't trust yourself to be kind and helpful towards yourself. I'm in the same place right now even though i'm not in hospital. But sometimes i get these vague feelings of something else i could do apart from self destructing. I Think you probably do as Well. Something different than what the voices and thoughts suggest. Maybe when those vague feelings appear, try to just sit with them and imagine acting on them, doing something nice and kind to yourself. You don't have to actually do them. For now, just try not to disca4d the thoughts right away.
I'll ask the staff about the hearing voices thing. I think I've heard of it
I want to be able to do other things and look forward to stuff etc.
It's just so hard to see anything beyond 'this'
I have ward round tomorrow but I don't foresee much progress
At least I'm allowed to sleep in my room tonight
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Just had ward round.
I can be discharged as soon as a package of care is put in place.
No one knows how long that will be.
She didn't even ask about dying to save the world which I suppose worked in my favour
So yeah
Hopefully my CC sorts things out quickly
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
What are your thoughts about dying to save the world now? It's great that you can be discharged as soon as there is a package of care but I hope you'd be ready to work with them to stay safe and get back to the life you enjoyed.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I attend an hearing voices group. It's quite good because you meet people in the same situation as you and they may have coping strategies you might not have thought of as you learn from each other. Just an note that due to coronavirus my group is currently not meeting so depending on the coronavirus situation you might have to wait several months or weeks to attend a group once you are discharged. Also we have had several people attend whilst IP in the local unit.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I don't think the doctor accepts it, she probably wants to focus on ways to help you move forward. Do you think you would take actions towards death if you were discharged or are you willing to fight to get back into a better life?
You looked at the recovery college before, didn't you? And were quite interested in some of the things?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You've been trying to die for a while and it hasn't worked. I think it probably hasn't worked because you're not really supposed to die. Can you try and list all the things you'd want to get back to in your life?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Because they keep stopping me.
I still think I might be indestructible which could also be why it hasn't worked
I have lots of things I want to get back to
And apparently going to have lots of support that I don't want or need.
Seriously, what is the point of having a personal assistant to help me go to activities and stuff when I do those things on my own anyway?!?!?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I think it's because of the way you're thinking, they wouldn't want you to be spending lots of time alone until you are thinking more about life and getting back into your routine.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Also, and this isn’t meant to sound harsh, but if you have people there to help you get back into your routine, you’re (theoretically) less likely to randomly stop taking your meds and eating and drinking. It does majorly suck, but your meds keep you well and every time you’ve come off them, you’ve ended up in hospital. Why do you think that is, if you don’t believe you need them? Surely if you didn’t need them and what you’re experiencing was real, you would be able to do all the stuff you were able to do in that well period you had on clozapine and wouldn’t need to be in hospital?
I know it sucks, but theres no guarantee you will have to be. If you’re worried about it, try thinking of it as “today I need to take my meds, I’ll go ask for them” and then as you build up, you might find you’re able to do things well and taking meds you didn’t ever think yourself capable of.
Maybe all of the fight you've been putting up is catching up with you. Plus for a while your sleep at night hasn't been in an ideal place. The meds could also be affecting you and making you feel a bit sleepy. I don't think they would put sedatives in food they would just give you them directly and tell you that's what they were doing. Try and let your body and mind rest.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'm not allowed in my room again but I really want to go back to sleep.
It's so loud out here
I think I've been getting sleep hallucinations. Someone on my schizoaffective disorder group on fb mentioned it and I read about them and it sounds like what I have been getting recently. Like weird things will happen and I'm always really surprised to wake up in my room. It's not like a dream where I'm fully asleep.
Could the depot cause this too?
Last edited by Cacoethes : 13-05-2020 at 07:11 PM.
Reason: Added a bit
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
