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Coming out
So I never really talked about myself much on here I just leave poems. But i wanted to tell you something really positive thats happened in my life recently. I am 27 year old male for context.
I'm bisexual. I knew I wasnt straight from a young age BUT through what I can see know as bi-erasure and alot of phobia in the environment I grew up in I actually really didnt have a name for my identity until I was 25. Left to my own devices I would have but yeah it was really scary and rough.
Really happy to have come out now even if it is a lockdown and I cant go out. So much of this happiness is coming from FINALLY BEING ABLE TO FEEL LIKE I CAN LOOK AND DRESS HOW I WANT. Its huge really. Cause im a massive goth lol and lots of things. I have very strong style I feel that ive been repressing. Its been so much fun ive just been changing outfits all day. Its all so counter to the lifestyle id been living.
Well basically thats an understatement. Coming out has freed me from my self abusive behaviour in major ways. I guess I couldnt justify looking after a non authentic me on some subconsious level. Self care has become so much easier. Loving who I am has become so much easier. Its a cliche at this stage but my child self would truly think who i am right now is the coolest person ever.
the most exciting and also scariest part is I dont fully know me at all yet. So much kinda like baggage of trying to fit into this male hetronormative whatever. Just realising i modulate my expression a **** tonne. Its gonna be interesting :)
also i kinda have a boyfriend now hehe
anyway heres a poem i wrote thanks x
It’s strange even saying the words
Sharp to hear thoughts
Running hands through locks
Like opening starts
Sparking matches
Talking to them for the first time
It’s odd even sounding it out
Gliding fingers under clothes
Weird to be telling anyone
Anything really
It’s just pockets of air
So we can breath
And then burns holes
Pokey little circles
So parents don’t come home
I just wanna breathe
I want you to feel me
I’m actually not the worst
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