Autism support thread

[The Worst Witch]

Camden, you can either email me or reply here, I’ll keep an eye on both.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling, maii. I’m not sure what to suggest as I am not in the US and therefore unfamiliar with the situation there, but you are still welcome to post.

[maii]

Scotland sounds nice from what I read. The US is changing and not in a good way.

[Auror.]

Clearly have missed something while at work.

Ali, we'll email you.

[Auror.]

still hoping to ask about a thing if anyone is about? it's okay if not.

[Elmer]

I'm about. Unsure if I'll be helpful and am being somewhat unreliable but I'm here.

[Auror.]

thanks lio!

we don't know how eloquently we will be explaining this.

so. we know comparing isn't helpful or good. this isn't comparing as much as like. we must be doing something wrong.

we have quite a few online friends who struggle with mentals and are neurodivergent, etc etc etc.. all of them are younger than us at this point. but all of them have gone from being on disability, not working, being in hospital, etc. to completing degrees, getting full time jobs, being self sufficient financially. they've been able to move on.

and we're really happy for them of course. and we know they've struggled to get there and that it's not been easy. and we know they deserve good things. we are genuinely happy for them.

but also like. we don't seem to be able to move on. and we don't get what we are doing wrong. what are they doing to move on? how do we do it too?

does anyone else know or can at least relate?

[Elmer]

I think I can relate somewhat. I feel very 'behind' my peers including people who have had similar struggles to me. Something that has been said to me is that we all have different life paths so it's not possible to be 'behind' anyone else because we're all going in different directions. If that makes any sense?

I'm not sure I have any advice on how to move on or build the kind of life that others have, but maybe try to have some compassion for yourself? You're doing your absolute best and the way things are aren't the way they will always be. This isn't forever.

[Pi.R^2]

(I'm generally assumed to be autistic but not diagnosed don't know if my opinion is of interest here)

I don't know if it helps but I sometimes feel guilty for how well I'm doing? Like, why did I recover from mentalz and get a 'good' life when so many others who are just as (if not more) worthy than me of a good life are still struggling so much?

I don't know if it helps to remember that everyone's little blend of illness and neurodivergence are unique and some mixes are just more conducive to an independent lives than others and that doesn't mean you are trying any less hard.

Even aside from different severities of mental illness and different presentations (is that an OK term???) of neurodivergence, as a teeny example potentially one of the reasons I am doing better than some others with similar presentations to me is that I am also very good at maths. This means firstly that I could be a big old mess and still get a degree because it was just kinda easy for me and getting the grades didn't require more time and brainpower than I had to offer. And secondly, I work with other mathematicians who at least anecdotally more likely to be neurodivergent so my working environment is more supportive to me than if I was potentially working in a different field.

[Auror.]

both of your replies do make sense. thank you both!

lio we've heard that too. but at this point we're 35 and like. we're really to old to be still figuring **** out? which okay is a comparison/jugement but. we can't seem to move on or over it all and have no current direction.

our other friend basically said they stumbled into a very specific job that basically was lucky enough to meet all their very specific needs and accommodations. so it's a lot of luck as much as anything else. because without that job they'd probably have ended up dropping out of school and having to go back on disability.

which kind of sounds similar to what you are saying jenna?

and we think your wording is fine fwiw

[Auror.]

so uh.

does anyone have any suggestions for how to figure out better bathroom related body awareness? or how to search for this? unsure how to word better.