Okay, but you've repeatedly said staff members have told you horrible things when you've got to them for support. I'm not saying you deserve to be told those things, because nobody does. But then when you repeat them to us it sounds as though you also believe them yourself. Which then means you're repeated them as your own beliefs. Not just as what is said.
t doesn't sound like staff are the the right people to be going to with these things. They've proven repeatedly they will not react in the way you want, deserve, or need. So again not saying you deserve to be treated the way you are. BUT that there are things you can work on with regards to boundaries and what is appropriate that would mean you are going to better and correct people for help and support.
I get you live there and staff are your main source of support for day to day things. But maybe there's something you can work out with your therapist human and whomever is in charge of making these decisions at the group home, that even if you can't have a therapy session every week, maybe you can email the therapist human in between sessions and they could respond to you in the weeks you don't meet or similar.
Either way it still sounds like you really need to work on figuring out what is appropriate, whether or not what is being told to you is appropriate and information you should believe, and how to communicate your needs appropriately.
edit - get that this isn't necessarily sugar coated or the most eloquent. what we are trying to say is that when you're stuck in a shitty situation that you have no control over, i.e. living in the group home and the staff, treatment decisions, etc.. you only have a few options. and the only thing you can control is your own actions. so if you repeatedly do the same thing (i.e. engage with staff and ask for things in inappropriate ways) and get the same outcome (i.e. them saying shitty things to you), that is not going to change unless you change. they have already proven they are unwilling or unable to change. so at this point it's unfortunately on you to change if you want the interactions and other things to change. not saying that's right or that's okay. but when stuck in these types of situations, that's about the only thing you can actually do.
Last edited by Auror. : 04-11-2023 at 03:16 AM.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Auror is right about the people not being likely to change in how they respond to you, Darkwings. So i agree it would be better to have some more safe people to go to for mental health related advice. Like Auror suggested, maybe you can have the option to e-mail your therapist between appointments?? When i Got my support worker many years ago, i wasn't good at opening up about the things that actually mattered and impacted my life. So he gave me his work e-mail and said i was free to write as much as i wanted and he couldn't reply (for some sort of safety reasons IT-wise) but he would read them and we would base our Weekly talks on the various issues in the mails. That was actually a very useful way to do it.
I want to be a vigilante so I can fight for the women and girls that have or were sexually abused or assaulted honestly I do need input because I got a few things sorted out but I?m really really lost with the other stuff
just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
But how else can I get everyone that has the potential to hurt everyone else that is a vitum at best strength, understanding (for the female) and brutal rage I’ve have had since the attack I have within me
The vitum deserves to feel safe and healed and justice
everything that I didn’t have
just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
Unfortunately the world is full of bad people and you are not going to defeat them all by becoming a vigilante.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you want to do that. But I don’t think it will be beneficial to you to try and do that. You are going to end up in a worse situation than you are now.
Please just focus on getting support for yourself to work through what happened to you.
Before you can help others you need to help yourself. There's a saying that's something like you can't pour from an empty cup. You can do your healing first and be in a better place to support others. It's really important. I tried to work in the area of mental health when I was still very unwell myself and I was unable to help others and it also made things worse for me and I ended up in hospital. It's great that you want to be there for others but you need the foundation of stability and wellness first.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I can’t just do nothing about it when I watch the news there are all kinds of stories that just makes me want destroy them and I’m sorry but I’m not the type of person that can just focus on myself when I know that people are hurting and me not being able to protect or help in someway ok I’m so very sorry
just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough
You can't stop every single person from hurting as nobody can. Being a vigilante isn't the right way to go about it imo. It's great that you show empathy towards them but there are right and wrong ways to get justice for victims.
Also if the news is effecting your mh then maybe you should consider stopping watching it. I get that's easier said than done.
Last edited by not_so_insig : 08-11-2023 at 03:32 AM.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Writing to politicians that are responsible for making law change if it's a law problem or donating money to/volunteering for organisations that help with victims are some better productive ways. If there's an online petition then sign it is another. Make sure it's an legitimate organisation if you're going to donate money.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Other ways include donating to/shopping at thrift stores of organisations that help victims if they exist in your area. You could also donate physical goods to drives that may exist at the time.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Do you mean vigilante as in actually fighting people?
Or just finding them and reporting?
Either one is a problem.
To report them you'd need solid proof for court.
Attempting to fight them is just a ridiculous thing to do.
Someone with absolutely no training against people who are known to be violent? Disaster.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Curveball
