i have cut myself really badly today and last night, both times i couldn't stop the bleeding for ages, today i got in the shower afterwards and the water was constantly red...i was so scared that it was never going to stop! i also cut my one of my breasts today, i have never cut anywhere else apart from my thighs before.
i am also having really strong urges to take an over dose, i have never wanted to kill myself as much as i do now, everything is jsut getting too much for me.
First and foremost if you feel like you are going to kill yourself you really need to call somebody. I know that is is really scary, but life does NOT have to be this way for you.
And for the cuts I would seek medical attention if they are bleeding that much. They could very well need stitches. Here are a bunch of Useful Points of Contact to help you get the medical attention that it sounds like you need.
It dounds like you are in a lot of pain right now. I wish I could be there sitting next to you tell you it will be alright. Telling you that you have such a large future ahead of you, because you do. It might not feel like it but you DO make a difference in peoples lives. At some point you have given a person that one much needed hug, smiled at somebody and made their day, and were just there with an open pair of ears when somebody really needed to talk. Your life is very much worth living.
I don't know why i want to die, there is just this burning hatred inside of me. I want it to go.
i had a rough day yesterday.
My boyfriend didn't reply to my texts and i really need to talk to him I am so scared of losing him but yet i would not blame him if he walked away.
Also i found out that a friend of the familys dog had died, i mean i had known that dog all my life, since he was a puppy and i loved him sooo much, he was like my best friend when i was younger. That may sound silly to have a dog as a best friend but he was, he always cheered me up and made me smile. And now he is gone forever.
Also my brother is in New Zealand, i am finding this very hard to cope with, he has always been there for me through everything, he means the world to me and i look up to him. I can't be happy aobut something like a school grade until i have told him. I used to spend all my time with him and now he is on the other side of the world, i am finding this really difficult to cope with!
These problems may sound trivial but all together they just got to me.
I don't think i ned to go to hospital, my cuts have stopped bleeding now and have scabbed over
your problems dont sound trivial, especially if theyr making you feel as shit as you do atm
how long have you been with your boyfriend for?
as for the dog, it doesnt sound silly, my kitten is my best friend, and when i lost my other cat i was absolutely devastated. i just couldnt cope, but remember the good times, and the times he made you smile =)
could you email your brother or anything? maybe tell him your a bit low atm? it must be nice to have that relationship with your brother though, and just remember how much you mean to him! he'd be devastated if anything happened to you
stay safe
saz xxxx
you're not being silly at all
it must be heartbreaking, but i bet he had a good life =)
umm, why dont you email him just to tell him how much you're missing him and how much he means to you? you dont have to tell him about your siing or anything if you dont want to, but it might help you a bit just to let him know how much you're missing him. just an idea
saz xxxx
yea!! i may e-mail him just general nonsense that way i can feel close to him!
i am feeling a bit betternow as i have spoken to my bf and told him about it well in so many word, he knows i cut and everything and he was so lovely that made me feel better!! : )
Your problems are not trivial!
I totally understand-loosing a pet-is like loosing your best friend. They don't talk-but they're always there to listen. I love my pets. And it's awful to hear that you've lost your childhood dog. You'd probably be suprised how your relatives are feeling about this, they're probably exactly the same as you. Miserable. Maybe it'd help if you had a good chat about some moments with the lovable canine? It's wierd-it's like you love pets so much they actually manage to cheer you up just by talking about them.
I'm glad things are working out with your boyfriend. It's good to know you've got somebody there for you.
When I miss somebody who's really far away from me-I generally plead with them to send me a personal item of theirs, like a hoodie-so I can wear it about the house and feel close to them.
Take care of your cuts-maybe next time you should think about having some first aid supplies nearby just in case?
oh i loved that dog so so so much! i can remember the first time i met him when i was four and i was scared of him becasse he semed so massive but within like being with him for about 10 minutes i was already snuggling up with him! i also remember that week we were playing and he got on top of me on the bed and put my head in his mouth! may sound scary but he never even hurt me at all, not one scratch! we used to go out to the field and play frisbee and he used to join in when we played cricket!! everything we did he did too, he was like a proper member of the family!! When i was younger i used to lie down on the floor with him in the evenings and rest my head on his tummy and i would fall asleep there, we were basically inseperable and i would cry everytime i had to leave him!
i do have one of my brothers hoodys but i have had iit from him for so long now it no longer feels like it is his, i may raid his wardrobe!!
and yes may be getting so medical supplies would be a good idea, i should do that really!!
