My sense of time is warped by having had only three hours sleep. For some reason thought today was Thursday d'oh! I shall think of you both today with your tasks and tomorrow with therapy then xx
I've never had therapy before (after 16 years of asking!) - so I'm nervous about doing it right, and also how to do it! And what to talk about first because there's so many things and they're all interlinked.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I mean you could start by saying just that to your therapist, they might suggest starting at the beginning or with what is currently bothering you most or to do an outline of the issues. Depends on their style and the style of therapy. They will likely ask you which you would prefer but there is no shame in asking for guidance. Also therapy isn't a thing you can really do wrong but it works best when you are honest including things like not knowing where to start.
I have found often in therapy you start talking about one thing and then other bits naturally get brought up where relevant during the course of the session. And often the first session is them explaing confidentiality policy, how they work, asking you what you want to address and perhaps setting some goals together. Some styles are more structured than others though.
Good luck. Remember it's a two way thing between you and your therapist, much like a chat, so there will be some guidance about how the conversation goes and you can add in things that you feel are important if they haven't been brought up.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Oh no, I'm sorry. That's not a good start. Do you think it might improve with time? Is it structured or do you have a say about what might be helpful for you to talk about/do?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
So - I started like 'I don't really know how to start because I've never had therapy before. Should I tell you the main things going on? ?silence?
Or do I tell you my history and we build to where I am now?
'Him: This is your space to talk. *silence*? I was expecting SOME guidance at least. Maybe ask me which thing I think is most important or how everything is linked, or what I would like most support with?
Me: "Okay, well can I draw the things out to show you how they're linked? I am going through an ADHD diagnosis and seeing things visually helps and means I don't forget my points. Please could I have some paper?
Him: 'We don't really do that"
Me: Okay, so how do I start? Do I explain my past? Do I tell you what's going on right now? Do I pick a topic??"
and after about 10 minutes of silence I was like "well I'm just going to talk" and I was hoping some of what I said, he would have been like "okay, lets explore that then" and I've come away with nothing to think about or process. And no guidance really through the session. He said maybe a dozen words in the hour?
I started crying and was expecting "This is really hard, I understand. Take your time" but no, just silence. And then he was like "okay see you next week, the session is finished."
Last edited by Ahimsa : 14-12-2023 at 09:12 PM.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I don't know if its the therapist or the type of therapy - I don't know what I need but I definitely don't think it's this!!
I asked for a female one, but it took 6 months to get this one since the "you'll start by the end of May at the latest" after my initial assessment in March - and then chased every month and only started today!!
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
what type of therapy is it? it's definitely possible that it's not a good fit for you.
also there is nothing wrong with needing to write or express things in a different way and struggling with really open ended structure. we don't do well with those things either! it's important for a therapist human to be able to be flexible to work with and accommodate your needs. if this one can't it sounds like it might be worth waiting longer to try somebody else and wait for a female one.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
It's Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, which having experienced an hour of if is definitely not for me! The lights went off midway through, they’re on a sensor - and he didn’t acknowledge it or move so they went back on, we just did the rest in the dark - at least it was still light outside!
He said two points through the session, neither of which were a) correct b) helpful or c) reassuring
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I'm not sure I'm keen on that type of therapy myself, especially for a first time at therapy. Who decided on this therapy for you? Can you go back to them about it?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I've no idea, I just got a letter about it, it may have been through my IAPT referral? But I didn't get a say and I don't have a 'go to' person. Even my GP I've not seen the same one twice in the past 10 years
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
Yeah, care doesn't seem to be very flexible or let you have a clear 'person' who you go to these days. It's not good. Maybe you will settle in to the therapy with time, I really hope you do.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
