Shocked and confused with myself
Iíve had two sessions of SH in the last 3 days, both resulting in a hospital visit. Iím left feeling perplexed, confused, ashamed.
I think Iím self sabotaging because deep down I think Iíll never be good enough for my expectations. The head spin and euphoria that I experienced really took me out of rational thinking and into dangerous territory, which is scary. I donít know why I did it. I donít know how to not do it again. Itís the most addictive thing. But Iím sore and hiding it from everyone is horrible. Iím so ashamed. I even feel ashamed writing this. Like Iím really worth nothing right now.