Shocked and confused with myself

[butterfly hearts]

I’ve had two sessions of SH in the last 3 days, both resulting in a hospital visit. I’m left feeling perplexed, confused, ashamed.
I think I’m self sabotaging because deep down I think I’ll never be good enough for my expectations. The head spin and euphoria that I experienced really took me out of rational thinking and into dangerous territory, which is scary. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know how to not do it again. It’s the most addictive thing. But I’m sore and hiding it from everyone is horrible. I’m so ashamed. I even feel ashamed writing this. Like I’m really worth nothing right now.

[Pi.R^2]

Oh dear, sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult few days; I hope you were treated well in the hospital.

Self harm can be so addictive but it is possible to break that cycle. What kind of distractions have you tried in the past?

What is your situation with professional support at the moment?

[lozza]

I'm thinking of you sweetie and always here if you need to chat or just needing that distraction or anything.. msg me anytime xx