why bother?!

[Darkwings44]

But I don’t want the therapist to report it!!!!!! And then he would be asking me questions about it and I don’t know if I can answer any of them

[Cacoethes]

What's the point in having a therapist if you're not going to tell them anything that you actually need help with?
Idk if the rules are different, but they tend to only be able to report things that are happening at the time. Like if you or anyone else were at immediate risk of harm/abuse.

[Pomegranate]

I guess there is a difference between telling a therapist or CPN or other medical professional something of your own accord and them being told it without your agreement. As it happens, I agree with the others that it’s important your therapist knows what is going on for you so they can support. But I also get it’s hard for that to have been taken out of your control, especially without your understanding of why or agreeing- like if medical professionals from different teams were to talk and request info that maybe doesn’t seem relevant.

[Darkwings44]

What both of you guys are saying is easyier said then done but I will try to talk to my therapist about it on Friday 11th
……………Is it okay if I tell you the truth about it……. It was really my fault. I went to sleep. I let down my guard. What happened that night was my fault.i definitely despise and hate myself.

[not_so_insig]

If you are referring to abuse then it is never the victim's fault. I am sorry that you feel that way though.

[Iamcatbug]

Being asleep does not make it your fault. What happened to you was horrific and, like others have said, I do think that you need to try and talk about it with your therapist. Does your support worker know that you don't want to tell your therapist? Could they maybe help you with telling them.

[Darkwings44]

???Yes it is?I let my guard down and I was stupid??

I just emailed and asked my caseworker if she could help me tell the therapist the truth about what happened

[Darkwings44]

I feel like I’m shattered and I just feel I’m dead inside like empty and numb and void of everything that is happy and joyful with life besides watching the tv show sweet/vicious a show about two people who are vigilantes that are kicking the asses of the attackers of their college
Too bad it only has one season
It has Eliza Bennett as one of the characters
https://youtu.be/n33UNfjGNPo?feature=shared

[Iamcatbug]

It is impossible to be awake all the time. Everyone needs sleep. Going to sleep does not mean letting your guard down at all. I'm sorry you feel that way.

[Darkwings44]

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!

[Darkwings44]

the staff brought a man into the house 2 times the first time was in the morning and I saw him asleep and his shirt was off and the staff was sleeping too and I was scared that hurted me but I quickly noticed that I was still in my night clothes and I was then sort of ok after that and also I didn?t have any proof but the second time was in the weekend in the evening time and I was terrified that he was going to hurt me and I gathered all the bravery in me (which isn?t very much at all) and I took a video of the man in the kitchen and I also got him to talk a little bit but all without him knowing what was happening and tried to send the video to my caseworker through email and I waited some time and called her about the video but it wasn?t able to be sent to her because of the video?s size and the the staff was already suspicious of me so I had to delete it from my iPod touch so I couldn?t get the proof that I needed to get so I told her what was going on and she said that she would be taking of it and then we got off the phone and a few moments later the staff barged in my room and yelled at me about taking the video and told me that my caseworker was going to talk to her about it and yesterday she did and she seemed supportive?.. but then what I didn?t know was that she told the house manager and the house manager talked to the staff about it and she believed the staff because after the dayhab while I was in the parking lot she basically had said that it was my fault and that I could go to jail for it and that she didn?t believe me?.. that day I called my caseworker about it and she told me that she had no control over her and she was confused about what I was talking about and had to hang up I?m still terrified about that man!!!!! I?ve haven?t slept a whole night since that night (I stay up for as late as I can I try to stay awake all night but end up going to sleep at 2 or 3 am and I have to get up at 5 am to get ready to go to the dayhab ) and I feel so overwhelmed with everything!!!!!!! What?s the point of telling people what?s happening and what?s wrong if all they are going to do is not believe me and blame me for it and treat me like a bad person for just getting proof!!!!!!!!!??????? I don?t want to be alive anymore!!!!!!!!! Why do I have to be alive!!!!!!!!!!!

[Darkwings44]

I don’t really know what to do to help my friend from the dayhab …the other day … she had breakdown of sorts (crying and crying and crying) and I did my hardest to be there for her but the staff was getting in my way I don’t know but I think she was little suicidal we only talked a little bit but like I said the staff kept getting in the way so I only got a little bit of information about what was going on from her As I could
And it didn’t help at all that I had a nightmare of her committing suicide
This are going to be a horrible week because she’s spending the rest of the week with her family and so I won’t be able to see her and make sure she is safe and alive! I already feel like hell I called my mom to warn her that if my friend commits suicide I’m sure as hell am going off the deep end and dying too!!!!!!

[Iamcatbug]

Going to be blunt, I apologise now.

I appreciate you want to support your friend, but you are not there to help her, you are there for you, the staff are there to help you both separately.

[not_so_insig]

If your friend is going to attempt suicide then you should really encourage her to seek help whether it be talking to staff or their therapist if they have one. If they do die and it's found out you knew but did nothing/told nobody then you could get into all sorts of trouble. I am not saying that you shouldn't be a listening ear but seriously this is far too serious an issue for you to be dealing alone.

[Darkwings44]

I emailed my caseworker about it but she hasn’t responded to me yet……….

[Pi.R^2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by not_so_insig

If they do die and it's found out you knew but did nothing/told nobody then you could get into all sorts of trouble.

I don't think this is true or fair. If I called the authorities every time I thought someone was suicidal, they'd not be too thrilled with me. Suicide is never someone else's fault and Darkwings has already stated that she tried to talk to this friend so "did nothing" isn't relevant here anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkwings44

I emailed my caseworker about it but she hasn?t responded to me yet???.

Great job. You've done what you can but ultimately the staff that support you need to take it from here.

It's scary worrying about a friend so please be kind to yourself and let the people around you know what's going on so that they can support you as well as chasing up your caseworker to make sure your friend gets the help she needs.

[Pomegranate]

Dark wings, as their friend I imagine you don’t want harm to come to them and for that reason I would encourage you to tell someone but whether you do or not, you are not responsible for their actions if they end their life. It’s a hard position for anyone to be in, even when they aren’t struggling. I hope you are as ok as can be.

[Darkwings44]

i did tell someone

im the farest from ok as i have ever gotten
especially since this happened today

i kept on feeling like the staff was upset with me now i know that the feeling was right because The staff told me that I should have been punished for what happened to the other person who was fired (the one who brought the man into the group home) so I offered me as a punching bag and to cut my arm off as punishment but mrs. T said no that no one is mad at me but all the stuff that she and mrs. C said on the bus going to the group home from the dayhab today tells me otherwise like "ooo i was just about to let her have i swear to god she made my blood boil" and "if she ever so even point her ipod at me im fliing a lawsuit!!! i'll sue her!!! i'll sue the famly and i'll sue the company!!!!!! let that bitch record me and see what happens!!!!!!!! i dont care!!!!!!" after that i told mrs.T that i had wanted to talk to her about some stuff and when we got to the group home and no more then a few moments in the talk shes saying that i needed to get punished and out of the group home because i got the lady fired so I offered me as a punching bag and to cut my arm off as punishment she said no but then she told me that what happened with my dad and me ( one of the reasons why i even came to this group home) must have been all my fault otherwise id still be living at home with my family but what she said was wrong i didnt go JUST because of my dad i went to have experiences and i wanted to make new friends and be able to be as independent as i could be then she said that I did what I did to the other lady who got fired because she was black and I tried to explain to her that it was about gender and that I didn?t do that because of her skin color but because I felt unsafe with a male in the house that could have hurt me but she woudnt listen to at all!!!!!!!!!!
Today earlier I tried telling the therapist that i thought that the staff was really upset and angry about what had happened to the fired staff and he said that i did the right thing its her job to make us feel safe within the group home and if she didnt do her job then she should not have the job and what other people do is not my fault whatsoever
and when the talk with Mrs. T was over i called my mom and talked to her about all of this and she said that i need to stand up for my rights and i know that what they said wasnt true and that i have a right to feel and stay safe within my group home and since the two other clients arent very talkive and arent aware of the dangers of stuff like sexual assault and i helped them be safe and stand up for their rights as well
after the phone call mrs. T yelled at me for telling my mom what she called bullshit but it wasnt ok?!!!!! I TOLD THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then went on a mini rant about black people are being the only minority and how they are the only ones who are done like this and all of that other stuff but IM ASIAN IM NOT 100% WHITE i am part of a minority TOO!!!!!!!!!!!but when something like this happens i dont automatically think its because of my skin color like she did mrs.T was the one who brought up and started talking about how it was all about race and stuff like that NOT ME why?? BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!!!!! and now because I told my mom all of what was happening i can?t even touch the phone anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Darkwings44]

today i sent a email to my case worker about this

[Darkwings44]

I honestly feel like being dead is the only way to mend my faults both within and outside of me