time to give up me thinks
dont have words to explain all that i am going through but i wish i did!!!!
I just wanna be free again............dont want to feel trapped...............wanna be outta scotland................i hate this place and the people in it .......................
free
how nice that would be
Nothing lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
*hugs rainbow* i'm sorry you don't feel free... don't give up.
*hugs helen* you are not pathetic. Hope you are alight.
I am very tired... physically, mentally, emotionally... Thinking the way I am thinking is exhausting. I am so unsafe right now... I just can't turn my brain off, i hate this.
<3
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past - buddy wakefield
*hugs everyone* ~ sorry that it can't be more. There's been an awful lot of posts since I last checked in. I hope you all are starting to feel better but want to offer more hugs to all who need them.
I'm still down. I feel worse this afternoon than I have for awhile. And from where I'm coming from that's not a good sign. I'm just going to curl up in a corner and cry since I can't cry IRL.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
*hugs Helen* ~ Hopefully there's nothing to worry about hon.
*hugs everyone*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I've been drinking and wish I still was but I stopped so that I didn't get drunk. I felt okay while I was drinking and everyone was awake but now the depression or low mood has kicked in again and I feel like OD'ing. I won't do it because I have to be strong, but I feel like I need to...
*curls up in a corner and starts crying*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
*hugs arwen*
*hugs kahlia*
*hugs cherylwilson*
Sorry I don't have words for you guys...
I was trying to catch up on the posts here from yesterday, so i was reading the last page... and stumbled upon my post last night... i don't even remember posting it, in fact, i don't remember being on my computer at all last night. No alcohol involved... hmmmm... I don't think that's good. Makes me wonder what else I did online, although i haven't found any other evidence of anything...
Anyway, hope everyone is alright.
<3
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past - buddy wakefield
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
*hugs everyone and offers tissues to those crying in corners*
I see the psychologist for the first time today. I'm more than a little bit nervous. I just hope that I will be able to learn to trust her enough to open up. At the moment I have no trust in her whatsoever due to my trust issues. I've been hurt by so many psych professionals and so keep myself guarded around them. I just hope it goes well...
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I am really struggling and now I'm really angry again (Y)
My two best friends are worried I'm beginning to develop two eating disorders and by telling them they feel even more powerless to help. I guess I have been slowly spiralling. One went far as contacting my mum. But she won't get that message because I've deleted it.
I forgot to tell you, my best who was meant to be in the ED clinic for five months, was taken off section and out of there the other day. Unfortnately she's in hospital again today after fainting, hitting her head and fitting :( She's done that quite a few times, it's not good. Last time it was because of stomach ulcers (which then nearly killed her when they ruptured).
Oh I didn't have my blood test yesterday. They re-made my 'doctors appointment' for Wednesday. Then this morning, I got a letter from a different GP, asking me to have a wee chat about how I'm feeling and after my A&E attendence. HAHAHAHHA. It's taken them FOUR ****ING LONG WEEKS TO FINALLY GIVE A ****????? I don't see why I should ****ing bother. They don't give a **** about me. Even my OWN GP DOESN'T CARE!!!!!
This is all too much. So much **** going down. I just need to die.
Ok, Ok. I can't cope and I don't know what to do. The anti-depressants aren't working yet and my suicidal urges are stronger than ever. I feel like the only way I can stop all of this is to just finish it off. I don't know what to do. I don't know...
*gently hugs helen* I'm so sorry to hear about everything that's going on with you. But you don't need to die, we would miss you dearly. Do you think you are going to talk to the GP? I know you are mad but maybe you should anyway....
*hugs strawberry.bananas* Do you have anyone you can call? Maybe a professional? Hang in there hun.
*walks to a dark corner and sits down to watch my life instead of live it*
<3
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past - buddy wakefield
