I know the feeling - I feel like I've been in a physical fight today...but all I've done is gone into town to buy some stuff.
Do you get help with Uni? I felt it was too much for me so ended up leaving in my third year.
*massive hugs*
I am starting back in January- I had to take time out part way through my 3rd year... things were supposed to be better now. There worse. I am getting support, but I guess at the end of the day it has to come from me. Not sure where I will find it though lol. I had to travel by bus today- I actually though I was going to die on the bus, right there in my seat. Agh.
I'm sorry it was hard going to town. I hate going out the house. Its so tiring. Make sure you give yourself some time to rest now though hun. Its great you even went out.
Hugs tight x
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Hugs Roli and Katie, I dropped out of uni last may. Felt awful.
I'm ok. Have therapist appt in less than an hour. Not sure how it'll go or if he'll believe me and what I have to say. Or if he'll even want to talk about what I want to talk about.
*hugs Roli and Mum24*
Don't push yourself to do it if you're not ready - you can have up to 5 years out at most Uni's...only do what you can.
I feel kinda better for getting out - trying to do what the DBT says but it's a struggle.
I hope the therapist appointment goes well - try to explain if it's something you need to talk about <3
x Katie x
Thanks Katie- *Hugs back*
unfortunately there are complications with Law degrees that differ from normal ones. It causes a MASSIVE faff if you take more than 4 years to do a 3 year course. Meh. I can't see myself ever graduating and its the only thing I have wanted to do for a very very long time...
I find it hard to work when my head is telling me to kill myself. I guess there doesn't seem much point if I'm not going to be around much longer. Hmm. Feels weird.
I'm glad you felt better for getting out. I am glad your trying the DBT shizzle. Is any of it helpful? How are you feeling now? Still like your beaten black and blue?
*Covers with a snuggly Quilt and a cup of something warm*
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Ah, that sucks then. I get what you mean about it seeming pointless if you're not gonna be around - I feel that way about most things right now. I have faith in you though; I know you can do it <3
Yeah still feeling the same. It is kind of helpful - more so now we've got onto Distress Tolerance rather than mindfulness - I found that pretty useless in my current state of mind.
*snuggles you*
It might help to try to break down the Uni stuff into smaller chunks so it doesn't seem like you're climbing Everest.
We talked about what I wanted to talk about... and he believed me and was supportive. Now I feel bad about talking about it. Why is life so complicated?
Katie I'm glad you're finding Distress Tolerance helpful. There's lots of good stuff in there. Hopefully I'll find it helpful this time around too. I opened my dbt binder and read that section last Saturday when I was super distressed but I was useless. It's just me. They'd say I'm willful. I'd say I'm in pain.
Roli how are you doing hon? Is life still kicking you this afternoon? Big huggles. We can make it through this.
I've had enough I really f***ing have. Everything's my fault. All of it. I can't even wait til my date now. It's just gonna happen sooner. F*** Christmas. F*** families. F*** everything. I'm worthless. Useless. No good for anything. It's all my fault that everything's going wrong and I can't put it right anymore. I can't keep trying. I'm done. It's too hard.
Why the hell won't this go away?! "Wait until your next Psychiatrist appointment", "wait and see how your next Psychologist appointment goes". How much fucking waiting am I suppose to do? I told them that I AM DESPERATE.
Two weeks is a fucking long time right now. Both my mood and my control over my eating and self-harming (or lack thereof) are violently going up and down and round and round and it's all just too much. I wouldn't go anywhere near A&E or phone any of the numbers on my CMHT card now if you paid me. They've proven themselves useless.
My next Psychiatrist assessment and meds review is my only hope right now. If nothing comes of that then that's it. There is nothing else.
[REPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID - Honk if you're Scottish!]
Pointless... Don't lose hope... I've been there. Sometimes they truly suck so bad at helping, but you are still worth helping. Don't give up. Someone will come along who knows what they are doing and you are soooo worth it hon. You are worth fighting for even if everyone around is useless. You are still valuable and worth a life. Don't give up. I hear the desperation and despair in your voice and it's not good sweetie... I'm sorry they suck, but don't give up because you are worth it. Make them listen to you.
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
