Hey Oliver, I hope I'm not too late in saying happy birthday. so happy birthday!
Everything here took a big nosedive after some stuff that happened last night. Fought off doing anything "stupid" until about 4 this afternoon where after trying every distraction i possibly could I still ended up OD-ing. It was an amount that my GP has told me is "safe". Went to sleep. Went to dinner. Went to a church service in the cathedral (I'm not religious but the cathedral is combined wth my college and I had to walk past it to get home so went there knowing I'd be safe for an hour or so), and through then I was having massive urges to OD again. Stayed safe, then got a text from college welfare and ended up seeing them for almost two hours this evening. Have promised them that I won't do anything to hurt myself again tonight and have been told that I have to check in with them tomorrow after I get back from the lab. My uni mentor has also said she wants to hear from me tomorow, but to phone her I'll have to miss a lecture. It's not an important lecture but it's a lecture none the less so I have told her I'll only call if I really need to, and otherise I'll email her after I've been in the lab.
Sorry this has turned into such a rant. I should be supporting everyone else. But right now I just need to make some tea and go to bed. And hope that I can get everything back on track tomorrow.
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
Ok everyone. I know I am not around much but college is keeping me busy. I just have a question for you all. Do you notice when you are really stressed that some borderline symptoms get worse?
I have HUGE funals and national testing coming up and I am about to burst at the seams. I have also noticed that some of my borderline, OCD, and depression symptoms are getting worse. I had the doctor increase my medications but they may take a while to kick in. I think that its the stress but I am someone that doesnt cope with stress at all. Anyone have any tips to help me get through this? Anything is appreciated. Thanks!
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hey Oliver, hope you enjoyed your birthday (:
Lizzie - I know how you feel, I hate talking on the phone as well. I hope the Samaritans can help you after you've e-mailed them. Glad to hear you managed to stay safe from any big OD's though (:
Queen - I can relate, I would definitely say that when I'm stressed my BPD symtpoms get worse; unfortunately I don't know any techniques that can help you get through this ): but I hope you stay safe (:
I'm feeling quite low and nt being allowed to be left alone, i've had my debit card taken from me so i can't spend money. i just want to sleep all day but i have to go out with my bf as i can't be alone.
dannie girl is there nething u can do to help bring ur mood up.
quick question my house mate today made a commnt about the fact i have a mentor and she proof reads my work for me as im dyslexic and the mh stuff and she said that basically ive got it easy at uni and if eveyone had someone doing there work for them they wud love it... now i feel guilty for having this support like i dont deserve it. i do all my own work she just looks at the grammer etc... i feel like a fake
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Dannie - is there anything that can lift your mood? I think getting out would help, I've been in that position where I haven't been bothered to go out but it does help (:
Youonlyliveonce - She's probably just jealous that you have help. You're certainly not a fake. I'm sorry to hear she made you feel this way, but try not to take it too much to heart, as I say she's probably just jealous. *hugs*
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Hi, finally plucked up the courage to introduce myself in this thread after lurking for a while.
I think you can deduce from my username why I've ended up here, lol. But of course I would really like to get to know others who have been diagnosed Borderline too. Anyone else have OCD and anxiety? That's what mine co-exists with.
Hope everyone is okay right now - in whatever way they define okay that is...
I'm in a big push to finish my final uni work at the moment so trying to keep busy, but also getting distracted a fair bit - ie, through posting on here.
Hi borderlinejivequeen!
I have anxiety which to a point is under control.
I hope your uni work is going ok.
xx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
BorderlineJiveQueen - Welcome to the thread! I'm quite new here myself. I have BPD, OCD, general anxiety, social anxiety, depression, eating disorder...
I've been quiet lately. I'm just feeling really rubbish.
Hi BJQ, welcome to the thread. I don't have OCD but I have obsessive thoughts, and also anxiety.
Do you want to talk about why you're feeling rubbish MJ?
I'm not doing well tonight. Lots of stress going on over the next couple of months. Can't get away from scared memories/feelings. Bulimia's returned over the past couple of weeks.
Cheryl there is something called student services, they help people go over their essays, next time they say something i would tell them to go there and they will get help.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
cheers guys, yeah after speaking to my mentor about this i did say something along those lines to her but got a laugh and a few words back... i dont want people in general to think this cus ive been working really hard this year to get my degree and dont want people thinking ive had an easy ride with it
youonlyliveonce- please ignore your housemate, she is just jealous. some people don't seem t realise how difficult it must be to have dyslexia, i don't have it, but i know people who do and i have seen them be patonised for having the label. you deserve all the help you can get to get through life. it's not your fault. ignore the silly moo, please.
borderlinejivequeen- hello, welcome to the forum, i hope you can get the help and support you need.. I have bpd with bipolar traits (hense being on here), dissociation and social anxiety.
kitkat- I have been out, it's just i can't get out alone at the moment as i'm not allowed to... i'm not even allowed my debit card, i have to ask for money. so i'm not allowed to spend th day in bed if i want to as i'm not allowed to be alone.
been sitting in my great grandma's garden all day whilst my bf and his work partner does the garden... had a nap too... i'm so bored... i keep having suicidal thoughts and i am urging to sh so bad, i manage to buy razr blades on the way here from the pharmacy. I'm sick of not having things to do, and i'm trying to sort out voluntry work to do, and am waiting to have an appointment with someone. *sighs* I really am trying my best to get things going in my life... people think i'm just not bothered... i feel completly hopeless and worthless
Dannie, i'm sorry to hear that you're feeling triggered. Remember that thoughts don't have to equal actions. You can get through this without self harming. I know what you mean about being sick of having nothing to do, i'm the same. It makes things worse because there is so much time to ruminate on how you're feeling. What sort of voluntary work would you like to do?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
thanks for the reply, onestepcloser.. well i got in contact with the cat protection legue about being an events orginiser, they said that's great we'll get you started asap as we've been hoping for someone to do this for us and it's now 3/4 weeks lateer and still nothing has happened=(
i am trying not to sh
EDIT: How are you?
how is everyone?
Last edited by DannieGirl : 10-05-2011 at 08:12 PM.
Reason: add on
Hi all! I'm new to this thread.
I'm quite cofused about my diagnosis.
I first went into hospital in 2006 after a serious OD. I only stayed in five days and they didn't diagnose me as anything as I didn't open up.
Then in 2007 I went back to hospital to an early intervention ward as I was psychotic and depressed. I was diagnosed as Bipolar. Three months later I was readmitted and this time labelled as Schizo-affective and BPD.
I been in and out ever since then. But from November 2010 to April this year I had an admission which resulted in me being re-labeled Bipolar and BPD.
The thing is, I don't really fit the BPD label. I don't go from loving to hating people. I'm not hugley impulsive. I don't have anger problems (apart from when I'm severely psychotic and my voices/hallucinations/delusions/ smells/people get on my tits [and then shamefully I get quite violent]).
I know there are lots of other criteria, but I just don't thnik I really fit them. I know I self-harm, but that is usually in the context of my being depressed/psychotic and delusional. -For example I've tried to remove bugs from my body whilst beleiving I was infested, it wasn't for emotional reasons.
The things is, I KNOW i have taken many overdoses and cut and burned many a time and needed many medical hospital admissisons, but it's mainly a result of my coming off my mood stabilisers and getting depressed that has made me do it. I can go many months without self harming, and I can be happy and content for many months too (as log as I stay on meds).
I just feel like i've been labelled this becuase I self harm.
I get treated differently on the wards as I have this BPD label. Actually, some staff have treated me with such disrespect it is unfathomable!
I'm so sorry for the epic post, it's just, well- I question this label in me so much. Can anyone shed any light as to why I have been diagnosed this?
Many thanks.
Hugs to everyone!
Kitty
Last edited by kits : 10-05-2011 at 09:30 PM.
Reason: spelling
