I really hope that he can reply to you, but bare in mind it may take a little while as he'l have appointments and things too - so it isn't YOU, it will be his workload. I hope he does email though. Can you do phones? Is it possible to ring him and speak to him that way - you wouldn't need to explain everything in great detail because he would (hopefully) have the email. It might be an idea?
As for your friend coming over, having company might be really helpful for you, so that's ace. (The drugs aren't so good, and I would advise you against taking them, as they aren't going to help - in the long run - but I know you'l probably skate over that bit!!)
Do you live on your own? xx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
No no, been deemed "too unsafe" to live on my own at the moment but my forms are with the council so if i ever get better, if i'm still here, i'll probably get one in the future. Mum's my main carer, really. Pays my bills for me at the bank etc.
May aswell live on my own though - pretty much live in my room on my own most of the time, hiding away from everything.
As he's a consultant psychiatrist and not a junior one, it'll be harder to get hold of him, which would mean going through various people and even then i wouldn't be guarenteed to speak to him, and i get a bit anxious on the phone so i'll just leave it as it is. I know rationally he'll be busy, but in my head i just want him to reply so i can get it over with :/ I'll be panicking all weekend now..atleast i've got Zoe (friend who's coming over) to keep me company but when she leaves i feel like i'll be back at square one, drugged up, and low. Sucks.
Thankyou roiben also for your support, i appreciate it. x
Hey.
I dont know you at all, and ive never really spoken to you, but ive just read through this whole thread, i have no idea how i didnt see it before.
its weird (and a bit scary) because i think, having read through tonnes of your posts, that you wouldnt say anything if you didnt truly mean it, and im sure your plans are very set in your mind, but i also think i know that if anyone can fight this, and can fight for themselves.. its you. You seem like such a strong young lady.
not in the saying youre ok all the time sense, but in the way that you fight for things you believe in.
You just need to learn to believe in yourself.
Im always on RYL (addicted much) if youre ever on and none of your friends are there to talk to, you can always pm me.
Charlie - thankyou for your kind post, your support really means a lot to me, especially as you've taken the time to actually read through the thread - talk about dedication! Lol. But seriously, thankyou :)
I just wanted to say i got a reply but i didn't see it until now..so..it's pointless replying until sunday when he gets it on monday but i don't know how to reply..
Hello Laura,
thanks for your very detailed letter, which I have read which I found open and very interesting. Let me ponder on it and I will try to respond at my best.
Or If you wish we could meet for an outpatient appointment and discuss all this.
i'm so happy for you, for sending that email. that couldn't have been an easy thing to do; that took serious guts. you should be proud!
and i'm thrilled that he's replied. maybe he checks his email at home on the weekend? well, i have a feeling it'll take a little while for him to put the right thoughts together to email you, so maybe you needn't bother replying. *rambles*
Dying tomorrow night. Everythin set. Friend asleep beside me. Pakcing as she sleeps. Sharing the cocaine out. Got my tablets to OD on. Plentyof them.
Outof here.
The end.
I really, really hope you do not go through with this. You've come so far, it doesn't have to end now - please, Laura, I love you my dear & you make me smile and and, well. It's not just me who cares.
When you're nest on please update me/us with how you are.
Laura, you have been so brave and courageous if what you have managed to do, I know that it probably doesn't feel that way to you right now, but you have done really well - look at how much support you have had on here, people love you and want you to stick around.
I understand it's hard for you, and you're scared and it's rubbish, believe me, I do, but keep hanging on. Things can improve, and I know that probably seems impossible right now. Why not trying to have an OP appointment and seeing how it goes? There may be something he can suggest that could be a really positive thing for you, isn't that worth a go? Grabbing that chance?
Take care. xx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I'll be ok guys, its whats best all round. Please show some supoprt for Acrasia
get nervy about saying sh*t on here incase someone phones someone and it upsets folks so i'd rather no one did, if i need to i'll do it.
xx
Last edited by Bitter_Angel : 10-05-2009 at 08:44 PM.
Reason: removing reference to a deleted post
My so called real life friend took what i said to her last night when she was here, and just phoned and my dad picked up. Apparently she just said i was feeling "depressed" and when dad went to hand me the phone as i was shouting "Give me the f*cking phone" he glared at me and said "You being f*cking silly again? Stop being silly." Yeh..real silly. realllly silly.
