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..::Kate::..
Join Date: Feb 2008
I am currently:  
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Here you go, love you all
xxx
Chapter 14
Later that evening, I found myself back at Chris's, packing my few belongings into my backpack, but leaving all the clothes behind. It had only taken the doctor an hour to organise a place for me on the scheme, even though they were supposedly fully booked for months. I'm guessing he called in a few favours somewhere along the line, god knows why. It wasn't like i was important or anything. I could have waited. But he insisted.
Chris was waiting for me downstairs, but i was panicking. I knew that once i checked in, they would search me, and take all my blades off me. There was nowhere i could hide them. There was nothing I could do.
"Chlo? Hunni? Are you ok? You don't have to do this you know. We can just ring the doctor and tell him you changed your mind."
"No, I'm... I'm alright. I'll be out in a minute. I just need a few minutes."
"Alright, but remember we need to leave soon, we said we would be there by eight."
"I know, Chris. I'm almost done."
With one last wild look around, I took a deep breath and splashed cold water on my face, washing away the last traces of make-up, the remnants of the person I used to be. Heading out into the bedroom, I pulled on my pjs and a sweater. FreeLife promised to supply a new wardrobe, a new life, a new me. Trouble was, I was having trouble leaving the old me behind.
I opened the door and ran lightly down the stairs, hurrying across the drive through the light drizzle and clambering into the car. Chris smiled at me, and wrapped his fingers through mine.
"We'll get through this, you know. I'm here for you, if you need help, or someone to scream at, or someone to hold you. Any time of the day or night. Just call me."
I smiled at him. I couldn't speak, I felt like I was choking, drowning under the weight of people's concern. Part of me wanted to get better. But part of me just wanted to be left alone, to be allowed to cry, to express pain, in the ways I knew best. What business was it of theirs?
By the time we drew up outside the centre, I was nearly in tears. So confused, I couldn't figure out what I wanted. Chris came round and opened my door, backpack in his hand. He held his hand out, and reluctantly, I took it. He pulled me to my feet, and let me to the door, where a warm pool of light flooded out into the night. I hesitated, took another deep breath and stepped through.
Chris's POV
I felt a lump in my throat as we waited together in the foyer. It was set up like a living room, all squishy sofas and armchairs grouped around a TV and coffee table. The reception desk was on the wall opposite the door, now unmanned. A generic blonde receptionist had taken Chlo's name and disappeared, over half an hour ago. Since then we had been waiting, but nobody showed and signs of appearing. Chlo leaned her head against my arm and fell asleep.
It was past nine when somebody finally appeared, a bustling woman dressed all in red. She smiled warmly, and took Chlo by the hand, leading her away from me down a short corridor. She had only gone a few steps when Chlo started screaming.
I was by her side in seconds, arms around her. I kissed the tears from her cheeks, sang to her over and over under my breath, until she quietened. When she pushed herself away, standing upright, I looked at the doctor.
"Maybe I should stay for a while. At least until she's been signed in."
The doctor shook her head, motioning for me to leave, but as soon as I let go of Chlo's hand, she started whimpering again. The doctor scoweled in disapproval, but then sighed, and nodded. It was getting late, and she was eager to get Chlo checked in before midnight. I sat next to her as the doctor examined her body, counting scars and wounds, noting the numbers on a piece of paper. She weighed her and measured her, numerous countless numbers designed to measure how 'normal' she was. None of it was real, none of it had anything to do with my Chlo, My beautiful girl.
After the examination, they gave Chlo black shorts and a tshirt, and a bobble to scrape back her hair. She looked completely different, much younger, more... new. And I guess that was the point, a fresh start, a new person. The thing was, I wasn't really sure if I would like the new person. Would she still be the girl I fell in love with?
I watched as she was lead away down the corridor, feeling the ferociousness of her last kiss burning on my lips. I turned away, unable to watch as she walked away from me. What would I get back?
Chlo's POV
I was half asleep as they lead me away. The new shorts were stiff and revealed the layers of scars on my legs, and the tshirt left the bandages on my arms bare. I felt naked, and unsure. I looked back at Chris one last time, one more memory to hold on to. But he was already gone.
I was alone again. But I could still feel that last kiss, and taste the salt of his tears.
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R.I.P my beautiful angel Kat, you will always be in my heart. 27/03/91-31/08/09 xxx Sweetdreams baby girl xxx
