Roiben please don apologize :) I'm glad they have changed it too.
Oly, thank you. I don't want you to go to too much trouble but it would be be greatly appreciated. With the chlorprom, I don't find it very sedating anymore. I hope I will be allowed out over this weekend or else I'm going to get really stir crazy.
I'm sitting in what I think is a Spy-free smoking area, excluding those trying to get into my mind, latched on to my head, BLASTING tool on my headphones trying to get some semblance of peace from Them. I'm struggling but in actually want something (a coffee and stretching it, some Lego technic) but alas I'm not allowed out even with my mother. I want tomsmash the right sidebof my head REALLY hard against a wall to rid myselfmof the Spy creatures.
I posted quoted parts from my textbook on your ziprasidone post. It seems that ziprasidone is good for treatment-resistance and that its not overly sedating or inducing weight gain. Do you feel that you would like a sedating medication?
Please don't smash the right side of your head, it will give you concussion and a splitting headache at the very least.
I hope things will improve for you soon.
Blasting music can help though.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
The information was very helpful, thanks Oly.
I still feel terrible, the voices are REAL loud, telling- demanding I do horrible and bad things - so I'm still blasting music and trying to avoid human contact. I'm worried that my favorite nurse has been replaced or her mind penetrated by the Spies...
You're welcome. Can you talk to your favourite nurse about neutral things? Like the weather or music? Sometimes that helps me when I think someone is a Mindreader.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
It was good with my favorite nurse. We talked for over an hour. The Spies couldn't possibly get to her. I drew for an hour and a half, rapidly, like I had to get these symbols out as quickly and accurately as possible. I was exhausted, I drew 7 pages non-stop. I need some new art materials.
I'm going to try my hardest to get unaccompanied leave just for an hour to pick up some things. Today Voices and Spies have been moderate but are escalating so I'm using my strategies.
I'm glad you talked to your favourite nurse. But sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. Are you on the ziprasidone yet? What were the symbols like? Good idea to use your strategies.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I've taken my third 40mg dose of ziprasidone.
The symbols were triangle with a circle around it (I drew it several times) and squiggly lines, one had a black box around it, another had crosshatches over it and a circle in the triangle. The nurses forgot to tell me I had an appt with my Dr so I missed it. Frustrating. The Voices were terrible last night and the spies everywhere.
I feel really strongly that I'm not from this planet and that I'm being attacked psychically because I'm a being with Knowledge Dark Entities and Creatures want. I want to go home.
I understand your frustration. I hope that the ziprasidone works soon. How did you feel when you drew the symbols?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I'm struggling at the moment but I'm dying to go out and do something outside in the real world. F*ck the Spy creatures. And their Dark Energies and entities, and the voices I want to go out, even for an hour. I need some leave. I will bring it up with my Dr.
Just took PRN clonazepam to calm me down.
It is very frustrating.
I felt like I must draw them, this huge need to get them down, I was speeding. Afterward I was exhausted but felt i had done something important.
Happened again today.
I'm allowed out for an hour tomorrow. I think I'm excited. Still a bit apathetic.
Good to get out though.
At the moment I'm drowning the voices out (again/still) as they were particularly bad earlier and are still quite troublesome. It's taken me a little while to write this post.
That's really good that you can go out for an hour. What will you do? Please be safe though.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I went out for just over an hour. I had to buy cigarettes and absolutely needed a decent coffee. It was pretty hard, twice I had to stop, sit and try and 'come back' the Spy creatures and Spies were dotted through the crowds.
Thank you Roiben. Please don't apologise. My Dr was helpful. He is raising my ziprasidone to 40mg in the morning and 40mg nocte. He is also going to be slowly decreasing my quietiapine and chlorprom. Still with the twice daily clonazepam and PRN clonazepam. I'm seeing him again in half an hour.
I've speed-drawn again. It's like these messages/symbols and images come to my head and it's almost life or death. I show them to my Dr and my favorite nurse.
At the moment I feel worn out, but the Spies are decreasing in intensity I think.
I was so tired today, after what happened last night, which I haven't explained, that I actually napped for an hour, I haven't been able to nap in a very long time. I don't feel much better except a little less tired.
Last night The voices were speaking in tongues, and I could see The Spy Creatures surrounding me big and scary, a murky smoky apparition. They were closing in on me and i could feel them killing off my organs, rotting them. I was terrified and felt paralyzed though I was shaking physically and energetically. It lasted about 2 hours. I felt like i was dying physically and entirely. My favorite nurse helped me 'come back' into my body and got me (with a lot of persuasion) to look in the mirror and see myself. I looked and saw myself, but i looked shrivelled and i only glanced ever so briefly. She stayed with me for a while, sometimes asking questions, put a hand on my shoulder and finally the Spy Creatures got less intense and close and moved further away back to the dimension they came from and a couple of hours later I was able to sleep (with meds). It was terrifying.
Is the nurse there, Rara? Can you let her know what is happening for you.
I know it is not much help, but do try to remind yourself that they can not hurt you. I know it is scary and very challenging to remember that right now. The more you remind yourself of it, the easier it will be to deal with them.
Do you think you can challenge them, or do something to distract your focus from them and ground you a little?
Thinking of you.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Sometimes when I see people like that, I chuck something at Them, like a pillow or a stone, and it proves to me that They cannot harm me as the object goes right through Them. Perhaps you could try that?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
