*cuddles you gently*
not every days gonna be good unfortunately
need to have a plan in place for if she comes back
try to talk to the nice lady about it Jo
thats the goal, is to not have you get hurt anymore, which requires some scary steps on your part. youve been doing good Jo, keep going
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
sisters friend came to the house she tried to get in with her key and couldnt cause of new locks, she was shouting at me telling me to let her in. i was so scared, but i didnt let her in. she said i was being very bad and naughty and that i need to be punished, then laughed and said wont we have fun punishing you. i still didnt let her in, was me bad?
That was very very good and brave of you Jo! :D *hugs* SO proud of you, you did the right thing! You are NOT bad, not at all, the friend is for doing that stuff to you and trying to blame you. Do you have a plan in place for when your sister gets back hun?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
had a really bad day yesterday as sisters friend got me when i went out and hurt me.
im really scared about tonight cause my sisters due back from holiday, think shes gonna be mad when she wont be able to get in.
got a panic button in my house now but still really scared.
I'm glad you've got a panic button, do you think you can use it if you need to? It'd be good if you can. I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time. Does the nice lady know your Sister is back from holiday today?
im feeling really scared and out of control today, my thoughts are bad and im struggling to keep myself safe just now.
want to destroy myself, then she cant.
i feel so alone, i rang the nice lady but shes off sick today.
im losing it i cant do this
sorry
*hugs you gently*
i'm sorry the friend hurt you when you left
glad you have a panic button
you can do this Jo.
you've been doing great, taking steps to get you safe.
you need to make a plan to keep you safe for when you leave your place.
Is there a neighbor or friend who can go with you when you leave? Could you try calling the police on them hun? They have NO right to be hurting you, its evil of them.
if your sister or one of her friends tries to break into your place, you hit that panic button. Nothing good will come out of letting your sister or her friends in. Don't let them in Jo. You don't deserve to be hurt, by them or by you. You don't need to be hurt. You can be kept safe from everyone and not be hurt at all, its not a either they hurt you or you hurt you situation hun.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
I just want to second everything only hope said, is there no one else available while the nice lady is off sick, duty doctors maybe? Sorry I don't know what her exact profession is.
not coping at all just now, harmed self tried so hard not to but couldnt fight thoughts no more.
sisters back now she rang me last night she said shes missed me and needs a cuddle, she said she got me some pressies and that she loves me lots. she sounded so calm and different.
im so muddled up and confused, does she really love me? i just want to be loved.
*curls up*
I'm sorry you're feeling so confused. I think it's not really about her loving you or not, she's abusive and a very destructive force in your life. So, I feel, regardless of if she loves you or not she's got no place being in your life right now because she's harming you so badly.
Using presents and being nice I think is a tactic abusers use to get what they want. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
I wouldn't trust her Jo. She's used the "I love you line" to attempt to justify hurting you. People who love you never hurt you like she has, ever. By this point I'm sure she knows about the locks being changed. She's trying to sweet-talk her way in so she can hurt you more. She doesn't love you hun. If she did she would never touch you the places she has, she would never "punish" you, she would never hurt you like she has, she would never let her friends hurt you either. If she loved you she would do everything she could to make sure you don't get hurt. Bethany is absolutely right about using presents as a tatic.
*snuggles* do you have any friends or other family members Jo?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*picks you up gently and cuddles*
shh its ok honey, youre not bad
you want to believe so much that your sister is nice, like she should be
shes not.
dont let her in again, try not to hun.
anytime she is nice she is only being nice so she can get you to let her in so she can hurt you.
do you need to see a doctor Jo?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*wraps arms round you cuddles into you sobbing*
i bad cause l trusted her, she seemed different i believed she loved me so let her in. she gave me pressies then i knew
she lied she lied
i stupid
*snuggles you gently*
not bad or stupid hun.
now that you know, dont let her in again. no matter what she says or does. she is never going to be the sister she should be to you. she has hurt you too many times for there to be any reason to ever trust her.
She played her part well, convincing you she's changed so she could get in and hurt you. Remember that. Remember what happened today next time she tries. Don't believe her when she tries again hun.
*holds you close*
Can you make an appointment for the doctor soon Jo?
Do you have a plan yet on how to stay safe when leaving the house?
The best thing you can do to get back at your abusers is to take really good care of yourself and do everything you can so that they can never hurt you again.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
You're not bad Jo, please don't let her in again, she's an abusive liar and you don't need her in your life, don't trust her. She doesn't love you, she doesn't care about you, I know it's horrible to think of your Sister like that but sadly it's the truth.
Abusers will manipulate people to get what they want, they may seem to care but they don't they only portray that image to get to you to abuse you. They lie and they should not be trusted.
I hope you can make an appointment to see a doctor soon, maybe you could get a doctor to visit you in your home if you fear for your safety if you were to go out.
why does she want to just hurt me?
she said im cursed, and that i make her do the bad things
she say im possessed by evil spirit and it needs taking out of me
it in me, she say it in me and it needs cutting out
im scared
dont want see her again, dont want too
I'm not sure why people want to hurt others, maybe it's that they enjoy the control they have over others, maybe they enjoy the actual abuse, I'm not sure really.
I've been told I was cured, and prayed over, people speaking in tongues etc. I've come to the opinion that cures don't exist, and there are no evil spirits only evil people and evil acts. Do you honestly believe that you're cursed?
It's amazing the things people will come out with in order to beat you down, to make sure you'll be their victim and secure you in that role. They will make things up, they will use religion to scare you, they will be nice and give you things, they will threaten you, blackmail you etc etc.They will use a wide variety or tactics in order to abuse.
You are not cursed.
If you were possessed by an evil spirit, abuse is not how they are removed.
She's making up all these lies to attempt to get you to believe them and keep letting her in so she can keep hurting you.
Don't believe her. None of it is true. What she is doing to you, and what her friends are doing to you, is evil, horrific, wrong, illegal and a ton of other words like that. This is not normal behavior. Something is seriously wrong with them.
Please honey, never let any of them in again, and get a plan in place to keep you safe when you leave the house. Talk to the nice lady some more.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
im so mixed up right now.
i hear voices they bad she say they voices of evil spirit.
she say evil has to be cut out of me.
maybe it is my fault, maybe evil in me makes her do bad stuff to me.
nice lady back today seeing her this morning, but scared
