Youre not pissing everyone off and no one wants you to leave.
when you post goodbye posts with upset faces people just worry thats all because they dont wanna see that youre so upset and finding life so hard right now.
just try and open up a bit more cos i dont really know how to help when you say you want to die and that youre a bad person, because youre not. Youre a caring person who deserves help so stick around.
take care. xx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
i have asked you what is triggering you, and asked if you have any distractions that work for you.
i know you must be hurting but posting that you keep thinking of how to end it isnt productive for anyone, espeically you.
If you let people in they can offer you constructive help... all i can say now is please dont collect more and im glad you didnt take enough. however if you explain the issues you are having which make you want to take things, maybe you could get some help with solving these problems.
im sorry i seem to not be helping ian, im trying, but im not so good on advice atm xxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
you didnt need to do that im trying to help you im sorry if im not.
i have to go but take care, and theres lots of people around if you need to talk.
were all gonna be here to see you out the other side. look after yourself xxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
Hey Ian, I dont think that we have ever spoken before, but I have seen you around.
I am sorry to hear that you are struggeling right now, I cant even begin to imagine how difficult you are finding things. But please see that you do not need to leave the site.
Can we try to keep things calm in this thread please. I know that emotions seem to be running very high, but Ian can you see that is because peoiple care for you, not because they want you to suffer anymore than you are already.
It is never a good idea to stockpile, perhaps you could get rid of anything which you might have now so as to get rid of that trigger.
Could you perhaps explain some more about why you are feeling this way.
Do you have anybody in real life whom you can talk to about these types of things?
I was trying to be supportive but i was worried about Ian and i think things seem harsher than they are when they are read, than it would if i was saying it... if that makes sense. anyways i tried my best. x
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
Hi kim no i dont think we talked before. I feel so low. I really feel like going out and buying loads and taking the lot. I did that last time but it wasnt enough. I threw up blood though thats not a very good sign i dont think im not sure. I cant collect anymore my mum watches me take my meds and she has hidden them. But i feel like going out and buying loads. I just feel like im going back to where i started again. I feel miserable and deppressed. I keep tellin gmyself i can do this but i dunno that i cant anymore. I dont know how much longer i can stay strong or even fight this. Iv got worse again as the day has gone on. I have two counsellers and numbers that i can ring but im scared. All i wante din life was some friends that cared i thought that when i went to college id got the most brilliant friends everr but im not so sure. Some days are worse than others some are not too bad some are really bad. I cant live like this i no i cant.
sounds to me like you have a good support system in place.
The things with friends is that they come and go. However, when you meet some really good ones they stay with you. I am glad that you are going to college, but dont piv everything on the people you meet there. I find that I personally mix better with people who are older than me. This means that i am unlikly to get on well with people if i went to somewhere such as college as they tend to be the same sort of age.
However, there are other ways to meet people. You may meet friends offriends, or you may meet people as time goes by.
I know its hard that you feel that you are going that way again, but at least this time you have recognised it. Addmitting to a problem is the first step to getting better. Pehaps you could alk to your mum about how you are feeling.
As for ringing the cousellors, there really is nothing to be scared of. This is what they are fo. They cant help you unless you are honest with hem.
SOMEON NCE TOLD MTHAT maknig a descsoi abut suicide is not somethin you should do when you feel low as you are not in the right frame of mind to make those descsions. The same goes here. Whilst you are still having some not so bad days, then life is still worth while. There must be things on those days that you enjoy. Keep holiding on for them. Because one smile is worth a thousand tears.
Think of it this way, where ever you aim to go in life, you can still get there, excpet now you have all this experince that you can put behind you and use it to your advantage. But you can only do that if you are still here fighting it.
So speak to who you need to and be honest. Get the support that you need. Were all behind you 100% of the way.
im really glad you were able to write that. Firstly well done for fighting, i know its been a really rocky road but youre still here which shows that you ARE really strong.
I know its hard to make friends and its hard at first, but its near the start of term still and im sure friendships will become stronger as the term progresses.
Im glad you have some days that are better, i know its hard when youre in a down phase, but its defintely worth holding on for the ups again.
I know it must be hard that your mum watches you take your meds, but its because she cares.
It isnt good that you were bringing up blood it shows the OD damaged you. This is why you need to keep fighting.
i know its hard when you are depressed, but keep fighting it. Hopefully the meds and counselling will make an improvment.
Also if you have numbers to ring you should. I mean i know its hard, im not good at phone calls, but they are there to help you, and wouldnt have given you the numbers if they didnt mean it.
take care
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
i dont know what to do today has been awful. Im in a mess. Iv got worse again. God i cant cope with all this its too much. I dont know how iv lasted this long.
i dont know what to do today has been awful. Im in a mess. Iv got worse again. God i cant cope with all this its too much. I dont know how iv lasted this long.
Hey Ian its been good that you have managed to talk more, i hear you feel in a mess mate, listen i have been hiding myself from everyone its nothing to do with you mate.
Ian youve said
"I have two counsellers and numbers that i can ring but im scared"
i know you might be scared but ian you really have nothing to be scared about the counsellors are there for you and you really need to start ringing them for more help.
Or ring childline mate or A & E or your Emergency Drs number
please ian this is where you need to start talking to someone outside RYL
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
i give up i cant do this i need to die. mustnt be alive anymore. sod me im a load of bollocks anyway. i hope im dead soon cant take this much longer. Who needs me when there are better people than me im just a pile of shit im not worth it. I know im not. Someone should have thrown me in the skip to die. Piece of shit like me deserves to die everyone hates me iv got no friends hardly the ones at college treat me like shit im just a loner really might aswell end up being a drunk on the street. Who knows maybe i will. Then again im probably classed as one already so it dont matter.
Ian , mate,
dont give up,and i dont want you to die
what you need to do is ring your Drs out of hours telephone number and talk to someone right now.
Or ring your local A & E department and talk to someone right now
or childline
or samaritans
please do ian we cant do anything , you have to take that step
we cant do it for you
you still have RYLS support, but youve reached a point where
you need to ring someone to get the extra immediate help now
i hope you do mate Hugs
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
I know I am new and you probley don't give a dame... But I find that if I focuse on those around me that need help my advice not only helps them... it helps me too... so you know you've got a friend in me.
Ian ,
Its great you are able to write down more of your feelings well done mate for doing that.
Its great you spoke with your counsellor today, but ian what did you talk about, did you tell your counsellor you have a plan and that you want to kill yourself , and that you cant cope anymore. I hope you did.
Because if you kept all that inside and didnt tell your counsellor how suicidal your feeling, you wont get any better. You need to be honest with yourself and honest to the counsellor. If you want to be safe you need to be honest with your counsellor so they can give you the immediate help, or get you intouch with someone else who will give you immediate treatment and a safe place.
You shouldnt blame yourself for having a go back at your friends its your right to stand up for yourself ian. They are bullying you and making fun of you, you deserve to be allowed to tell them to back off. They bully you and make you feel like its your fault and not theirs, thats how bullying works mate.
I know it must be hard feeling like your alone if they sit away from you , but ian right now you are better off on your own and away from your bullying friends. Its better thsn being around them just so they can bully you more, dont let them.
Ian you need to get rid of these friends who bully you and find new friends who treat you as an equal and like you for who you are and accept you. The longer you stay friends with the bullies the longer you will feel crap. again mate if this is driving you to want to
Ian if this is driving you to suicide and ways of killing yourself, please do what we have asked
Tell your counsellor the truth you are wanting to kill yourself and you have a plan, so she can get you immediate help.
Or ring your local Drs out of hours emergency telephone numb to speak with the DR on call or a community psychiatric nurse to get immediate support.
Ring your local Accident and Emergency department and ask to speak to a Dr there and tell them how suicidal you are
please do one of these mate things will not change until you can be truthfulL about how bad you feel and things wont get better until
you pick up the phone and ring someone
i hope you do mate , keep away from these bullies
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
There is no point in me living anymore. My friends dont want me im the one in the wrong so it seems i thought they were my friends but some good friends they were not. I give up on life alot of people say im lovely which im not but i dont see people running towards me and making friends with me instead of that i get all of this shit its like one thing after another and iv had enough of it.
I thought they accepted me but they dont. Iv just about had enough of everything. Im sure they would probably laugh if i was dead they dont seem to care when im alive so why should they when im dead im sorry if that seems harsh but im not not gonna go around being soft on them this has happened too many times now. Iv bloody had enough.! It seems like alot of people dont accept me if im honest. Id like to add that its not just because of my friends that i want to kill myself.
Last edited by Cazki : 17-10-2007 at 10:33 PM.
Reason: added more
I hear you about your so called friends, but right now you need to listen to us and what we are trying to tell you
you need to get help for yourself right now instead of repeating yourself about how bad your friends are , i said if you can distance yourself from them. and we understand you feel so bad about yourself and your repeatedly telling us you want to kill yourself.
but we are telling you to get immediate help for yourself right now
I know it must be hard feeling like your alone if they sit away from you , but ian right now you are better off on your own and away from your bullying friends. Its better thsn being around them just so they can bully you more, dont let them.
Ian you need to get rid of these friends who bully you and find new friends who treat you as an equal and like you for who you are and accept you. The longer you stay friends with the bullies the longer you will feel crap. again mate if this is driving you to want to
Ian if this is driving you to suicide and ways of killing yourself, please do what we have asked
Tell your counsellor the truth you are wanting to kill yourself and you have a plan, so she can get you immediate help.
Or ring your local Drs out of hours emergency telephone numb to speak with the DR on call or a community psychiatric nurse to get immediate support.
Ring your local Accident and Emergency department and ask to speak to a Dr there and tell them how suicidal you are
please do one of these mate things will not change until you can be truthfulL about how bad you feel and things wont get better until
you pick up the phone and ring someone
i hope you do mate ,
Dave
Last edited by bleedingdragon : 18-10-2007 at 04:39 AM.
Reason: removed text
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
You need to seek someones help who is on your end. All we can do is ask you to hold on.
