well, knowing you the way i do....going to A&E is a step in the right direction. months ago you wouldnt have gone no matter what you did. again, i worry about you everyday but im glad youve gone to get yourself taken care of. im sorry you had to hurt yourself again.
i love you Rowie bird.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
well...i went to a and e and the bad news is, that they dont think there is much more they can do for me. because i have harmed in the same place for 6 years the scar tissue has become so thick and hard they struggle to get a needle through it...i am allergic to steri strips so my wounds will be left untreated
I dont care..it saves a journey
it will lead to infections, but again i dont give two hoots
the only option is plasic surgery which is what they said but untill i am ready to let go of the harming...that isnt an option either.
Saw my doctor and told him how i felt with regards to the new meds. He said that feeling emotionless and numb is normal for these meds and that it should pass with in three to four weeks. he thinks that i should see the rev/priest, but its too late for that...email has been sent and i would look a fool if i changed my mind again. And besides...i havent changed my mind. It was meant to be an emotional meeting...its a big thing for me and i feel nothing si there is no point in going.
apparently the drugs that i have been put on are new and expensive so i guess i should feel grateful and i guess i do...they have cut down my anxiety and helped with my sleep....
he was dissapointed that id been to a and e. I think he felt these drugs would stop my harming....but it hasnt and thats some he has to face upto. Harming is part of my life that i cant risk letting to of
I had sitches, but not as many as they would have liked because of the thick scar tissue
I really dont care, or maybe i do
but theres nothing i can do about it
i guess it saves me a journey
the doc who said it was crap anyhow, hes the one who tried to stitch me without anaesthetic last time i went....the nurse was able to do some stitching though
but you have a decision to make. either continue to live like this or to die like this. thats basically what you have left.
please choose to live, BUT not like this.
Rowie I think you should get a second opinion about the plastic surgery. The last twice I have been to get wounds closed I have ended up being referred to plastics because a+e had problems closing them. I did actually go to the appointment the first time and they were able to close the wounds, despite excessive scar tissue. Just a thought if it is something that bothers you.
are you allergic to normal plasters? you could try to make your own steri strips, not saying they'd be good enough for wounds as deep as oyurs, but would be better than nothing.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
sorry, I havent been hiding...i just havent had anything to say.
the meds I think are working, but are still making me numb in the head though i think thats getting less.
Today is the day when i should have visited the priest, but backed out of it. I now have mixed feelings about that...but its too late, its over and done with. probably wouldnt have made much difference
im really glad the meds seem to be working for you :) and maybe the numbess will continue to wear off as you continue to take it.
i think you just considering to see a priest was a big step for you!! dont you?
please dont go beating yourself up over not going. you can always reschedule when you feel you are able. right?
im sorry youre feeling negative today. ive not had much sleep and am really loopy. ive been missing our chats but just havent logged in to messenger in a while.
I am glad the meds seem to be working, hopefully over time the numbness will ease off. You made the step contacting the priest in the first place so I think that is a really good step. You can always make another appointment when you feel up to it. Hold on there, you will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
If you want the reverend will just sit with you. You don't need to talk if you don't want to. They have social groups and could support in that way if you want. My church took me in when I needed it and gave me a home.
Im really not in a good place. My mood has dropped and my head is taking me to bad places...im not sleeping so well....are the meds wearing off, have i got used to them and theyre nolonger working. Cant deal with this...sorry.
everything was going so well
Rowie hun, try to remember that the meds are not a cure all. They can help yes, but they wont eliminate all of the bad thoughts and feelings, just take the edge off a little. Also you have not been on the meds that long so maybe it will take some time to tweak the dosage etc to get it to a level where they are working at their best. Try not to panic about it or let yourself get drawn in to indulging the thoughts because that will only make you feel worse.
Did you get everything sorted yesterday? *leaves some hugs* xx
