Merry Christmas Grandad. And, what a day for it, but now you've got Tommy to keep you company. I never really knew you Tommy, but you take care of each other and of everyone left here, ok?
Merry Xmas angel.
I hope you're having a rave wherever you are.
I hope you're happy.
x
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Christie...I know you're not dead, and I hope you won't be for millions of years, but...
I missed you today Christie. Why do you have to be away at christmas? This is the second year in a row you haven't been here...I miss you. I know you're at uni and everything...but with you there, and Angelique away too, I'm on my own. Today I sat on your bed, in the dark because a fuse blew or something. There was no food in your house, and your dogs kept barking at me. You used to get the dogs away from me...but you weren't there. Our parents are still going down to the pub every christmas. They still leave me at home alone. I miss it when I was little, and you would make me 'christmas dinner' which consisted of toast, beans and pasta...they were the only things you knew how to make. Even when you were old enough to go to the pub for lunch with all the adults, you still stayed with me. Thanks so much for that. You were the closest thing I had to an older sister growing up, and I was the closest thing you had to a little sister. I miss you. I haven't seen you in 2 years... I wish you were here. The past two christmasses I've spent on my own, while my mum and dad and your mum and dad, and all the others were down the pub getting drunk. When they all came back smashed we would hide in your room, under the duvet, and you would cuddle me when I cried and tell me everything would be better. You were the one person I really truely cared for and trusted. You told me about my first christmas, I was only 2 months old, and you were only 6, and you still had to look after me while our parents were out getting pissed. The same thing has happened every christmas since. I remember our last christmas together...our parents were out all day...I was 13, you were 18, and we were both really angry and upset, so we got out bottles of vodka, I got out my pills and we got dangerously out of it. Then our parents came back at like midnight, and we pretended we were fine. And the christmas when I was 5 and you were 11..I still remember that vividly. It was horrible...you were old enough to understand what HE was doing to us, but I wasn't. After he had finished we sat on your bed, crying for hours. You tried to protect me Christie, you always have. I just wish you knew what was going on now. But you can't protect me from myself. Please come home soon, I miss you.
and there she goes with her head in the clouds again, ignoring the drama and chasing her dreams. because to her, reality is a stranger.
Lindsay I haven't spoken about you in awhile now darling but I haven't forgotten, please don't think I have. This is hard right now, things are really hard & I keep wondering how you'd have dealt with everything if you'd survived. I keep thinking about what you would have done, how you would deal with all of this. But I can't come up with an answer because I never knew you, did I? I feel like I did but the truth is I really didn't. We weren't old enough to, we;d barely been born. So I have no idea what you would have been like, would we have been similar, got on well? Or would we be totally different and nothing alike. I'm pretty sure you would be handling things better but I just have no idea, but I do miss you, I miss you alot despite not knowing you. I love you my sweet and I wish you were here so much. If only wishes came true. I'll never be able to make up for what happened to you because of me but I'm so sorry.
Last edited by Just Believe. : 30-12-2007 at 05:02 PM.
Reason: -
A new year without you. Huh. Interesting. I think I've blocked it all from my mind. You're still with Granny, asleep at the moment, but knocking off each other day in, day out. You're not dead.
And I hope you're at peace now, and I hope you are happy now. Nobody who loved you is happy, but, I pray that you are.. where ever you are. All the obituaries are saying you should be at peace from the pain from this world. I hope you are because you deserve to be, you always deserved to be, I just wish you could feel the relief, happiness, joy.. instead of it being this way.
They poisoned you with compromise, At what point did you realise, Everybody loves your life But you?
I hope you're taking care of yourself up there. I never had the chance to welcome in a New Year with you. I hope you had a good one though. I wish you were here. I've always wondered whether NewYears are much different in both places...Heh.
I need to hear you say, that I love you, that I loved you all along, that I forgive you, been away for far too long
I wish you could. I need it so much right now. Forgive me for not seeing, for not being there, for not helping, for not stopping you. I don't care what anyone says y'know, it will never stop the guilt.
I hope you know though, that even if you can't say it to me, I forgive you. The pain, the tears, the anger, the grief, the guilt, the overwhelming sense of death. I forgive you.
SHe asked about you yesterday, we were talking about it and she asked, somehow she didn't know. That was fun. You should be here to tell them yourself where you are y'know. What you're doing with your life now. WHether i've spoken to you recently.
It shouldn't have to all be met with the answer, "No I haven't, um... she died...um..."
It's just not right.
It's pouring with rain, i'm walking to school. We walked in the rain. Do you remember? It was hilarious. Your bob became more of an afro, do you remember? Gosh I remember the evil look you gave me now for pointing that out. Hahah, thankyou for giving me the laughs and the tears. x
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
It was your birthday this week i wonder what you'd thing of all of us now
be a bit disapointed...maybe. Wish you could have helped.... probabley
i wish i could have known you better i cant really remember you and have even less memories of before you were ill. he probabely has even less. They both still miss you its sounds like you were a pretty amazing person. I really wish i knew you better
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow!
Join Date: Sep 2007
I am currently:
hey granda' can't believe it's been 12 years, still hurts like it was yesterday!!
i love and miss you so much granda' u were the only awesome person in my life keep looking over me, i need you now more than ever
i took you a few bottles of guiness to ur grave and a touch a whisky 4 a chaser jus how u like it
save me a spot up there, r.i.p
love you loads!
XxX
Laura...I'm gunna get help...I'm gunna get better, for you too. I'm not gunna waste this life. It's your life too...and I'm not gunna **** it up for you. I love you baban. xxxxxxxx
and there she goes with her head in the clouds again, ignoring the drama and chasing her dreams. because to her, reality is a stranger.
