Sorry it's taken so long, but you'll be getting another chapter later on too to make up for it :)
Chapter Seven
I hadn’t wanted to talk to Naomi about my self-destructive habits, even if they were ones she understood and shared. I cut the conversation short and pleaded with her to say nothing to the staff or other residents, which she agreed to, although briefly mentioned that the staff would already know by now and the residents would find out when I was forced to wear short sleeves at dinner. I chose not to worry about it until I absolutely had to and changed the subject. We talked about our family at home, friends we had and the dog I was promised once I got better. If I got better.
All too soon, three beeps sounded from the clock attached to the wall next to my bed and Naomi immediately stopped talking, stood up and held her hand out to help me up. “Dinner time,” she smiled. I hesitated in taking her hand and she giggled at me. “I know it sounds hard. It’s always going to be a struggle, but remember, the first meal is the hardest.” I thought about this for a moment then realised I would have to do it whether I liked it or not; I was not about to spend the rest of my life in a place like this.
I took Naomi’s hand and she pulled me to my feet, leading me out of our bedroom and across the landing towards the stairs. I could feel my legs shaking as I took each step, Naomi holding onto my hand tightly, frequently looking back and giving me a smile to tell me it was all going to be okay. As we got closer and closer to the bottom, I got slower and slower, part of me willing myself to carry on, that it won’t be that bad. The other part telling me to pull my hand from Naomi’s and shoot out of the front door. As if right on cue, Naomi tightened her grip around my hand and practically dragged me down the last few stairs, pulling me round the corner into the kitchen and away from any chance of escape.
As we entered the kitchen, there were about eight other girls sat around a long table, waiting for the inevitable meal to enter their stomachs. They all looked up at me and one of the members of staff introduced me. “Hello, Keira,” they chorused. I had a feeling their minds were on other things rather than the new arrival amongst them.
Naomi, still holding my hand, led me to the far end of the table on the other side of the kitchen, furthest away from the door and sat me down next to her as she sat at the edge. I looked at the girl the other side of me. She looked extremely tense and her leg was shaking. Her eyes stared right ahead as if nothing else was there; only the fear and anxiety that seemed to come at meal times in the clinic. I could feel it too; my breathing started getting shallow and Naomi squeezed my hand again.
“Would you like me to hold your hand through your first meal?” Naomi whispered. I nodded and she smiled at me.
“Keira, could you remove your jumper please?”
I didn’t look up to look at who said it, but slowly took my hand away from Naomi’s to pull my jumper over my head, being careful not to move the bandages or damage my arm any more than had already been done. I felt a few eyes on my arm, but they quickly looked away as I met their eyes. I looked at Naomi and she told me to ignore them – there were a lot of residents who had gone through the same thing, they were just intrigued to know everything about the ‘shiny new toy’.
Once everyone was sat in the kitchen, I was given a hair tie to tie my hair up and all of our food was carefully measured out before being handed out to us individually and checked once again before we were allowed to eat. I had kept my eyes closed, trying to ignore the smell of the food and the feeling in my stomach as it was being prepared, but finally I opened them to see the first of my many meals for weeks and months to come. Soup. It was only soup. But I knew it wouldn’t be the only thing I would be eating tonight.
I looked around at the other girls, clearly struggling as much as I was, but they were forcing themselves to eat. I looked at one of the women who worked in the clinic. Watching us. Louise. She had been introduced to me earlier. She met my eye and nodded once, telling me it was okay to eat. It’s never okay for you to eat. Don’t forget me. I’m never going away. I looked back at the soup. I picked up the spoon to the side of the bowl and dipped it into the hot liquid. Shaking, I slowly put the rim of the spoon against my lips and tipped it up, letting it fall into my mouth.
Quickly, I swallowed, trying not to taste it. But I could feel it running down my throat. Hot. Spreading round my entire body. Fat. Each calorie. Fat. Each calorie expanding and attaching itself to the fat I saw but no one else did. FAT. Even this mouthful would make me fatter. You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block everything out. YOU’RE GETTING FATTER!
I screamed, pushing my chair back and sprinting out of the room as fast as I could. I could feel everyone staring at me, but I didn’t care. I could hear some of the staff running after me, calling my name, trying to get me to come back, but I wasn’t listening. There was only one place I was going. Get it out of you. I quickly found the downstairs bathroom after memorising where it was during the tour of the clinic. Throwing myself towards the door, I skidded to a halt on my knees in front of the toilet bowl and pushed my fingers down my throat.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
I know I only recently posted a chapter, but I started writing the next one and REALLY got into it =P
And now what I had planned for this story when I first started it has taken a completely different path.
Hope you enjoy it :)
By the way, this chapter can be quite triggering for abuse.
Chapter Eight
Before my gag reflex had a chance to react, I felt a hand tight around my wrist, swiftly moving it away from my mouth and pulling me away from the toilet. I didn’t register who it was, but they wrapped their free arm around my body, hugging me close to theirs. I struggled and screamed, tried to pull myself away, but they wouldn’t let go.
“It’s okay,” they said. “It’s me, Louise. You’re going to be alright, just calm down.”
I froze to the sound of her voice and every ounce of frustration that had ever built up inside me ran to the surface and poured out of my eyes, blurring my vision and soaking my cheeks. I could taste the salt of my tears as they hit my lips and I curled into a ball, pushing myself closer to Louise; for the first time in ages, I felt safe. Even with this stranger. I closed my eyes tightly. Tighter and tighter until it hurt. You’re weak. Only the weak cry.
I heard Louise get some tissue from behind her and wipe the saliva from my fingers, and then she reached over and dropped it into the toilet bowl. She retrieved more tissue and offered it to me, which I bitterly refused. She sighed and set it down beside me should I change my mind. I wiped my eyes with my fist and opened them, setting my sight on the bandages tightly wrapped around my arm. I knew I would be stopped, but I didn’t care and I reached over to tug the bandages away. Louise, quick as lightning, grabbed my hand again before I could do any real damage and restrained me further, refusing to let go or even look away for more than a second.
The smell of alcohol on his breath, forcing itself up my nose, down my throat, making me gag. I could feel his body upon my own, crushing me, pushing air from my lungs out of my mouth, but not allowing any air back in. I couldn’t breathe.
Help me. HELP ME.
His thighs between mine moved in a rhythm I had become accustomed to. I focused on the rhythm. Pulsating around me, on me, inside me. He forced his vile lips upon my own and I froze.
I screamed again. And again. I kept screaming. But Louise didn’t let me go. She didn’t know what was going on inside my head. She didn’t know holding onto me was only making it worse. I threw my head back and hit Louise in the face. I heard a crack as my skull came into contact with her nose and her hands flew up to meet her face. I seized my chance and ran. Why I didn’t run out of the front door, I’ll never know, but I kept running until my hand pushed down the door handle of my bedroom and threw myself down onto my bed, thrusting my face into the pillow and letting all the tears spill.
I heard Tara’s voice at the door telling me I had broken Louise’s nose and that she would now watch me until I had calmed down. I smiled at the concept of hurting someone that badly, although the smile quickly disappeared when I realised I had hurt someone who hadn’t deserved it.
Another half an hour passed before I had stopped crying and was just lying face down on my bed, waiting in anticipation for Tara to leave so I could be left alone. But before she had a chance to say anything, I heard Naomi’s voice outside asking Tara if she could come in. Tara said she could as long as she was careful. My heart skipped a beat and I knew the only person I wanted to be with right then was Naomi. I heard her cross the room and felt her sit on the side of my bed, putting a hand on my back, then reaching up to twiddle my hair around her fingers.
“Call me if there’s any trouble,” Tara said. I heard her close the door and walk away.
I twisted round to look at Naomi and she smiled at me. I didn’t want to speak unless she spoke to me first, but I knew she was waiting for me to say something; to let her know I was okay. I didn’t, I just smiled back at her and she turned away, looking out of the window, clearly deep in thought and linked her fingers through my own, squeezing them tightly. I rubbed my thumb against her hand and sighed. I hadn’t even known this girl for twenty-four hours and, already, the thought of losing her clawed at my mind, terrifying me more than anything.
“So,” she started. I looked at her, eyes wide. “I take it you don’t like it here?”
I looked at her serious face and looked closer at her eyes. They were sparkling and I laughed. She laughed back and we both started giggling uncontrollably for a little while. Suddenly, she stopped and looked across at me. Her smile disappeared and she leaned towards me slightly, wiping my wet cheek with her thumb. She kissed where her touch had been and leant her forehead against mine, staring deeply into my eyes.
I wasn’t sure what was happening, but before I could control it, she put her hand on the back of my neck, knotting her fingers through my hair and pulled my face towards hers, planting her lips on mine and parting them slightly. I froze for less than a second before I melted into it and cupped her face with my hands, kissing her with more passion than I had ever felt in my life.
I wanted that moment to last forever.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
This is Awesome!!
Please please please please write more!!
You have to!!
Please please pleaseee!!!
**gets down on knees and begs!!**
C'mon write moreeee!!!! pwitty pweeeaaassseeee!!
*Gives puppy dog look*
Right, last chapter for the day xD
I got into this a LITTLE too much.
Which is probably a tad worrying =P But.
And this chapter has *Adult* content ;) Lawlz.
Chapter Nine
For the next few weeks, Naomi and I darted round the subject of what had happened, although I desperately wanted to talk about it; to tell her I wanted it to happen again. However, I felt it best for her to broach the subject with me first when she felt comfortable. However, more weeks passed and it was as if it never happened.
It was all I could think about and I was barely affected by the food I had to eat or the weight I could feel and see I was putting on. I didn’t sleep, barely talked. All I could think about was her. I wanted to be with her all the time. Hold her. Fall asleep with her. Never let her go.
A little over a month had passed when I was sat in our room. I was listening to music through my headphones when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked up to see Naomi had barged into the room and slammed the door, staring at me and breathing heavily. I removed the headphones and set it down on the table beside my bed, turning it off and watching her, willing her to speak to me.
“I can’t do this anymore, Keira,” she whispered. “I can’t walk around pretending nothing happened between us. The moment I set eyes on you I wanted to kiss you, I can’t believe I held back for that long. Especially when we were alone.”
She waited for my reaction, but I couldn’t speak. So she continued, “To you, that might have been a one-off thing. That’s okay, but I’d rather you told me now. Thing is, Keira, I feel like I’m falling in love with you. And I know this is all happening so fast, but life is so short isn’t it?”
I was still stuck for what to say. She sighed and turned to leave, but I leapt up and grabbed her hand, twisting her back round to face me. She smiled and kissed me again, more confident this time, wrapping her arms around me and pushing me gently towards my bed. We collapsed onto it together and I ran my fingers through hers, gripping them tightly as her lips traced my throat. Suddenly, she got up and beckoned me towards her bed, which she then started to move to block the door. We giggled as we moved it across the door, like we were a couple of five-year-olds playing a naughty game we didn’t want our parents to know about.
We moved back towards the other side of the room again, but didn’t quite make it as Naomi fell to the floor, pulling me down with her. I landed on her, unable to contain myself and kissed her harder than before. She leaned into me, showing me she was willing and I began to unbutton my shirt, as she pulled her own over her head. I kissed her chest and her stomach, tracing my finger across each scar, each bone, each element of her illness.
Before I knew it, we had switched places and my back was against the carpet as her lips kissed all over my body, slowly getting lower and lower. “You’re beautiful,” she breathed against my skin, sending shivers up my spine as goose bumps erupted all over me.
I don’t know how long we were rolling around on the floor for, it felt like forever, but it was all over too quickly. Eventually we were back in my bed, under the sheets with Naomi curled up in my arms. She was snoring gently and I looked at the floor. At the bombshell we had created; clothes were strewn everywhere and I smiled to myself. I looked over at the clock. 11pm.
“Naomi,” I whispered. She didn’t answer. I nudged her and said her name again. She stirred and twisted round to face me.
“Hmm?” she murmured, eyes still half closed. I kissed her again and her whole body turned to lean into mine. I pulled my lips away from hers.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
