Taking something to do might be a good idea. I asked Claire to send me the materials for each week beforehand, and was supposed to meet her quickly today to get them but I slept in, gah. Was also supposed to pick up my meds and go food shopping today, and I’m not seeing V or the cats this evening so I can actually have a look at last weeks sheets and do stuff in between if I get triggered.
Camden, she told me it was really important I tried to engage with all the sessions because this is my second time being referred. The first time, I was in the middle of moving and the only reason I got a second chance at the group was because I couldn’t control when I moved, my dad told me a date the flat would be ours and that was that. If I miss any, I won’t get another chance so she’s trying to push me. In all fairness, she did help me suspend all my other obligations so that I could focus solely on the group imcluding telling the benefits people to leave me alone and not schedule any appointments for the 8 weeks the groups run, so that kind of stressed the importance of engaging and things.
I can’t really help, the diagnostic process is different in Scotland. I can tell you what happened at mine, but I don’t know how helpful its going to be because yours will be dofferent.
ETA: Aspergers isn’t a doagnosis anymore, so you won’t be diagnosed woth that. Like Camden said below, its an extremely outdated and offensive term and most likely what you’ll be diagnosed with is ASD (autism spectrum disorder) rather than Aspergers.
Last edited by The Worst Witch : 07-11-2022 at 07:37 PM.
Ali that does sound stressful. Unsure of good words at the moment, but really hope having the notes in advance helps.
Auragrace, that is not a process I have gone through and I am not in your country. There are only a few of us in this thread. So I don't know if any of us have been in your situation to advise. Also, Asperger's is a pretty ... conflicting term to use. It's not just outdated, but it's a very offensive term to a lot of people. (eta: This isn't to say you can't use the term if you prefer it. But officially it's no longer a diagnosis as autism is just autism, and it has ties to Nazis and other bad things which is why it's seen as offensive.)
Last edited by Auror. : 07-11-2022 at 07:41 PM.
Reason: explain
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Camden, I was gonna send you an email if thats ok. I’m in mterested in your opinion on what you’ve found services in the US to be like, because it was brought up in the group last week of what different countries experience. I already have a lot of info from us discussing you, so I wondered of you’d mind if I shared some of your experiences (I’d leave out where I know you from and specifics, you’d just be ‘my friend lives in America and…’. Its ok if you say no, I just wanted to ask you if its ok because it came up in the notes we’re doing?
I hope that having the materials in advance does help with the anxiety Ali, it sounds like a good idea. I understand why it’s important for you to attend the groups, if lots of arrangements have been made - but remember it’s also important that you are safe during and afterwards, so I hope there is support for you if a group is distressing.
Auragrace, I was diagnosed in England but my experience wasn’t typical and was related to my specific circumstances. Nobody can tell you what to expect in much detail because it varies so wildly everywhere and depending on circumstances. I’m sure you know how slow the forum is these days, and people reply when they can - we’re all struggling with our own stuff and sometimes it’s not easy to reply quickly (as, again, I’m sure you know). There’s lots of information about the various types of assessment on the NAS website (for example), and when you get your assessment date there will probably be information on the letter and forms they send.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I asked to see the coordinator after tomorrows group for that specific reason Lio :). Tomorrow is going to be an intense session and I did originally ask Claire if she could meet me afterwards but I think I’d be ok with seeing someone else to discuss. I’ve seen other people before, just Claire is my main worker and she’s the one I feel the most comfortable with because she started working with me at a point in time where I was really struggling with life. Even my dad is full of praise for her, which let me tell you is a rare occurence!
Cool, thanks Camden :). I sent it - no need to reply immediately, just whenever you can is fine!
Auragrace, I didn’t mean to sound harsh in my last reply. I just meant that where I live in Scotland has a specific team just for diagnosis so it’ll be different to what you experience as I think they’re the only ones in the UK from what I’ve read.
ETA: Does anyone have any ideas on how to actually motivate myself to go tomorrow? I’ve done all the prep and stuff, its in my bag along with everything else I need except my phone. I don’t really know what else to do to prepare and manage anxiety. I’ve asked Claire but she won’t reply tonight because it’s obviously past working hours. I may be overthinking it slightly haha
Last edited by The Worst Witch : 07-11-2022 at 08:57 PM.
Last weeks group sent me into a meltdown/burnout for a week. Only just starting to get things back on track.
The flat is a mess, I haven’t been to see Soot since Saturday, the stuff I have to do every week for the group hasn’t been done, I have no food and no clean clothes.
You’ve had a lot to think about recently. The flat being a mess is absolutely not the end of the world, Soot is there when you’re ready to see him, but you know he is safe and cared for. No clean clothes is ok - how would you feel about putting some essentials (underwear/tops/socks) in on a quick wash? No food is a bit tricky, cos you need that! Could you do an online shop? Maybe not a big supermarket one, but one of those apps that lets you order some essential groceries same day, just to tide you over?
As for group work - yeah it’s probably a bit important, but if attending the groups is this stressful then maybe it isn’t as important as keeping yourself afloat? It seems like turning up is the most essential bit and you’re doing that.
There’s no shame in struggling.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
Managed to put a wash on and have a shower today, going to see Soot and after tea V’s gonna take me to tescos for food. I did manage to go to the shop last night for essentials but need a lot of other stuff like washing powder etc.
Humaning is hard. I’m often awake at stupid times in the morning so I get scared that hoovering, washing machine etc will wake up neighbours. I am gonna try and at least do my kitchen after I come back from V’s though and not worry about the rest as hard as that is.
I think I might need an appointment with Claire but I’m worried she’ll be annoyed.
humaning is really hard and it sounds like you are trying really hard too. claire has been understanding in the past right? it might be worth asking if you think it could help. from what you have said she seems really nice.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Thanks Camden :). I think I might message her tomorrow because things are quite didficult atm.
Just a general question, do either of you feel like there may be a magic key to work out life and that yours is faulty, and its a bit like trying to put a square peg in a round hole?
The ASD diagnosis was a huge relief in that respect, explains a lot. It doesn't really help that much with actually working out how to human a lot of the time though.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I think I’m struggling with all the change thats happening. Both of my siblings are now engaged and while I’m happy for them, its hard because it feels like they’re moving on with life and I’m just stuck here. I can’t work atm, which I don’t think is helping, and I just feel left behind I guess. My dad has to give me a lot more support than my siblings as they are both neurotypical, as an example he only gave my siblings deposits for houses but I got a house paid for outright because I wouldn’t be able to afford a mortgage. In the legal sense, my dad owns my flat because I couldn’t legally own it without losing a significant amount of benefit and although in 7 years (if he doesn’t die before then) it will legally be mine no matter what my situation, I just want to be normal and get married, and have a job. I’d also like to not freak out and take weeks to recover after stressful situations, or struggle with my mental health. I know I can’t tell what goes on with my siblings behind closed doors, and yeah they’ll have problems too I just wish I was more like them and less like me.
not good words at the moment. but change is hard. and comparing yourself to others can feel awful. we know things are complicated between you and your dad too. is any of this stuff you can talk to claire about or is this not claire things?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I’m seeing her on the 5th because I had a meltdown at the group. She did suggest I see her today but that didn’t happen becaise I had to leave half way through. I texted her tolet her know I had to leave and she said she was not mad.
