I might be dead.

[Snow White.]

Perhaps sleep and miss class. You need rest. You don't need to overdose. It doesn't make any sense to overdose it won't help your situation.

And I expect you would have to explain it to your mum when she notices you're unwell from overdosing.

How are you doing?

[Auror.]

I don't tell my mother. She'd notice if I missed work though.

I'm literally sat here. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I get up I'll od. It doesn't seem okay to sleep. I'm trapped.

[Snow White.]

Why isn't sleeping ok?
Feeling trapped is very difficult. Remember you don't have to act on something just because you're thinking of it. I hope you can manage to keep safe. You have done well to keep safe this far.

[Auror.]

I don't know. It's not safe. It shouldn't be.

The dog is in her crate in the bedroom. I put her to bed around 3am. I should get her up soon and feed her breakfast? It won't be fair to her to have to go back in the crate or try to sleep more.

It's so stupid. It's light outside and I hear people and it all just needs to STOP.

[Snow White.]

:(
What is the safest thing you can do right now?

[Auror.]

I don't know. It's hurting my ears. I literally don't know. I should get up and go to class like a proper human being.

[Snow White.]

Can you safely do that?
Right now small goals are ok to keep you safe, it doesn't have to be to make it to class but maybe if you try it will be easier? Sometimes when I'm out of bed and dressed it's easier than I thought when I was in bed. If not, scale back to a smaller goal but always be making sure they're keeping you safe.

[Auror.]

I never got undressed from yesterday. Sitting on the couch so not even in bed.

Considering yelling at the birds to shut up but yelling might hurt my ears. It's all too much. Why can't it stop? Should get the dog up. She will make noise.

Safely go to class does not seem doable. Would crash the car if it were not valuable. Unsure I should be driving?

[Snow White.]

Ok, so if going to class isn't safe how can you keep yourself safe at home, or going out, that doesn't involve a car? I think you need an action plan for today, even if that is to catch up on rest in bed and tell your mum you're feeling Ill (which is why you're not at school).

[Auror.]

I got the dog up and gave her food and took her out. She is noisy and it is hurting my ears and I tried to ask her to be quiet but she does not understand.

I am a terrible person.

I will have to go to work later. My mom does not need to know whether I go to school or not. The dog is very wound up. But I do not think I can od with her out of the crate? She could getinto the pills on accident.

[Snow White.]

I agree that would not be safe.

It's been a while since you posted, how are you doing?

[Auror.]

Got 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep. Have to get up and go to work. Professors told me to do things today and did not go to class. Do not know what to tell them.

Not ok. Sorry.

[talaiporia]

You really need more sleep Carmen. Lack of sleep is not going to help and it's going to make youreally poorly in the end.

How are you now?

[Auror.]

I left work early and went over to someone's else until I could get the dog from my moms house. I am going home now. I think I'll probably end up doing something tonight. I don't feel very safe lol.

[Snow White.]

That's not a "lol" situation. What can you do to keep yourself safe tonight? Sometimes planning even little things that can occupy your time can help.

One thing I'm picking up here though is that this is a lot to be facing alone. Amy chance of getting some help? Were you going back to doctor lady?

[Auror.]

is a bit late for being safe.

emailed doctor lady earlier today. she said something but it did not seem promising. something about she is still waiting to find out how it would work and did not want to do anything until she knows but it is on her list to keep tabs on or something.

[Auror.]

i mean it kind of is a ridiculous situation. so. laughing about it makes sense in that regards. it's funny in its patheticness.

[Snow White.]

If it is too late for being safe, what have you done?

[Snow White.]

I do not think how you are feeling is pathetic. Not for a second.

[Auror.]

am i allowed to say without getting into trouble? i do not want to get into trouble.

edit:
just need to not do anything else. this is manageable. anything more might not be but this is pathetic and doesn't even count.