In my experience, self-harming not-good-enough makes you feel even crappier than you did. Is it worth it, in hospital to steal moments of, in your eyes, self harm that isn't enough?
You know how short beds you; you wouldn't get one if you didn't need AND deserve it. You need to let people help, and I know it's hard, I do, but you need to let them anyway.
You mention needing to self harm a lot. What do you think you need about self harm; what does it give you?
I think, in light of your plans, it is a good idea that you aren't discharged, and why you are IP right now.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Are you serious Sophia? If anything Nympthette has just shown more and more that she has control and is choosing to behave this way. She's pushing professionals into a corner with her threats and quasi attempts at self harm. She can control things when the alternative is not being able to do something she wants to do. To be honest Nympthette your behaviours have worsened since being on the ward and from looking at your posts going back years and on your other accounts, your behaviours are always worse the more attention/mental health intervention you get. Maybe this is something you could work on with N/your psychologist. I've not seen you mention Mindfullness or anything recently and you've said before that helps. What's stopping you using it?
Last edited by Pomegranate : 30-12-2013 at 02:10 AM.
Reason: Removing direct names
Princess Emma Awesomeness Sparkleton replying to Nymphette 'insert imaginary job name on users request'. A little unsure what you want, mainly due to you ignoring questions yet again!
Last edited by Pomegranate : 30-12-2013 at 02:19 AM.
How are you finding the Mindfullness? You said it was helpful previously? You also said it wasn't helping you to be on the ward. Which points are you disagreeing with exactly? (Just so people can tailor support more suitably).
If you meant hospital is helpful and improving things for you then great! That's fantastic . In what ways do you think it's helping? How is it helping improve things?
Hi i'm so sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I have only read some of you thread, my concentration is very poor right now and i'm not in a good way myself. I was in hospital not long ago and I was on Level 3 obs so I was watched 24/7 and for me that was an awful experience. Maybe that's what you feel you need I don't know but I'm just warning you that I didn't find that a nice experience. But maybe it would make you feel safer if you had someone with you all the time. I know it's hard, but keep trying to remind yourself of consequences like your leave being cancelled and things like that if you keep trying to harm yourself. Is there anyone in hospital you feel you can be honest with? I too refused to engage and got put on temporary sections and then as soon as I went back onto voluntary I discharged myself. I also got restrained while I was in there and that was awful. I just wanted to warn you. I don't want anything like that happening to you because I think it would make you feel worse (if you're anything like me) Just think this is your chance to get yourself better. I'm so sorry I don't know what the right thing is to say to you all I know is that I can relate to a lot of what you are saying and I do understand, cause i've been there. And it's awful. You're in my thoughts and I just hope you have a positive experience and get the help you need and that you feel better really soon xxxx
All I got to was doing sounds, listening to them and focusing on them for 3 minutes. That's all we tried that worked, and yeh I've tried and that ain't happening on this ward.
That's okay. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I felt like I was completely different to everyone else in hospital. I was just focused on getting out the whole time and I kept threatening staff with "if you do this then I will harm myself" which probably got me nowhere. I feel like the environment made me feel worse. My CPN said apparently that can happen to some people. I too felt like I was a waste of a bed! Just try and give it a bit longer as it could help you. I know it is so difficult though it was the worst time of my life. Sorry I can't be much help but I just hope you realise you aren't alone. Ignore anyone who is upsetting you as you don't need that right now x x
Bit confused what's allowed and what isn't since it's so blatently obvious who you are from your behaviours and the way you express yourself and what youve disclosed but as you wish, I'll remove your work place name (despite it being a multinational company). You didn't say how you've tried/what's preventing you attempting the Mindfullness etc? As a side note, how do you feel IP is helping or has helped you?
The ward is full of stressful sounds so focusing on them obviously isn't a good idea.
There's no way anyone on the ward can do mindfulness with me. They barely have time to give you a towel if you need one. Maybe I'll ask my psych on Friday. But seeing as you think I have so much control maybe I don't need to?
People here will know who I am, but not nesessarily outsiders, and that was the problem. Why does it matter? I've requested several times for names not to be used, why can't that just be respected in the first place?
Part of having control is working with the skills available to you. You were able to control your outbursts when you wanted to be out on leave over christmas. That doesn't mean you are ok or don't deserve help but it
Does show an element of self control and you are lucky to have that. I've been on wards multiple time and I do understand that staff have very little time and need to prioritise it. That doesn't mean you can't try and schedule time with the staff or work with N on safety measures.
I cut again. They could probably do with a stitch or two but the nurse has just dressed them. I don't care, I only pull stitches out anyway. I was sat on my bed, and it was like 1 something, and now it's nearly 3pm. I told the nurse that. I did try. I was on my bed in my pjs and then on the floor covered in blood. I still have urges so going to get in bed and really try and settle:
