Right. My bloods are 'at an acceptable level' but they are saying they would send the police out if I left because I have to see crisis, which I don't believe because I'm pretty sure they stopped doing that in my area. I took my cannula out and I'm waiting for a chance to run. I'm sorry I know I'm being shitty I just have to get out right now.
I self discharged after an argument with a very pissy nurse who physically blocked the door for a while. I'm going home and hibernating for the rest of my life.
Hey lovely!!
I know you're going through a hard time and things are just rough but don't you think you need more support and help at the moment to get you through what you're feeling at the moment? You don't want to harm yourself again to end up back in hospital to have treatment again. You may not be as lucky as you have been this time round. Lovely please tomorrow accept help from your care coordinator and your team. Let them help you and decide what will be best for you at the moment to help you get through this bad patch. X
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Long chat with cpn. He knows me well, it's kind of annoying. I seriously doubt I'm going to commit suicide because I never do, but I want to, I really fucking do. The multi story car park is still in my head. It would be so easy.
He was encouraging me to make contact with people and let them know I'm ok. I don't want to deal with anyone. I'm too tired. I want to sleep forever. I've got a gp appointment in a bit. I need to get meds but I don't want to go.
Not really, he's calling me tomorrow to see how I am. He mentioned using the crisis team and the crisis house which I doubt I'll do, I never call crisis. I don't want ip or anything so I'm not expecting that. I only got out before Xmas.
I hope things get better for you soon and that you stabilise. Do you ever ring helplines when in crisis?
Carrie/23/Self Harm/Depression/Anxiety/Warrior All my windows still are broken but I'm standing on my feet.
Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears.- Demi Lovato
Demi Lovato, Fifth Harmony, and Little Mix give me hope.
I'm sorry you're still feeling so low honey. I hope your appointment with your GP goes okay.
Would you consider going to the Crisis house if you felt unsafe and likely to hurt yourself again? It helped a little last time you went didn't it?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Thanks, I sometimes call Samartians but not crisis. It did help a bit last time but I ended up overdosing anyway so no sure how affective it is and I feel like a bit of a moron for having support but still needing to od, don't want to make more of a fool of myself. It's open tonight though. Managed to have a shower and make it to my gps.
It's not making a fool of yourself. A lot of people still engage in support and SH behaviours.
Would you feel able to go there again tonight if needed?
Well done for making it to your GPs.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Appointment was stressful. Everyone is having a go at me. In some ways they are understanding but they've also all had enough. Everyone is sick of me and I can't take it anymore. In some ways I think that people understand and wouldn't blame me for jumping off something high right now. I can't hack this. I just can't.
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I'm sure it's not that they've had enough, just that they want to help so very much.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
My bloody mother is phoning the crisis team against my will. She's knows I'm suicidal but doesn't know what plans I have. She'll say god knows what to them. It's a total waste of time I'm sure that they'll say if I refuse to engage then there is nothing they can do/I've only just got out of hosp so admissions aren't an option/speak to her cc/tell her to have a bath and a cup of tea. I'm sick of people getting in my business. If I want to commit suicide it's nobodies business but my own. I probably won't do anything anyway. It's too dark, cold and windy to be standing getting sectioned on bridges or multi story car parks.
I answered the crisis team and for some stupid piss arse reason spoke openly to them. Big mistake. I didn't think they would do anything! They are sending me a taxi over at 9 to go for an assessment. I'm half tempted to run off now.
I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but that is a good thing.
I hope you manage to go to the assessment and they are able to help.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
