I'm overwhelmed by uni but now im so depressed im overwhelmed by everything, the depression makes things like daily chores and such so overwhelming and tiresome
Thanks Ally, Dash, Steph, Sarah and others, it all means so much to have replies xx
Please throw the rope away, you don't need to die. I can come over tomorrow and keep you company if you like. Please ring catt and tell them how badly you want to die right now.
This is reminding me so much of how I was last summer, I feel for you, I really do. This summer is much better for me, if I can get through it there is no reason you can't too.
Hold on to all of the times that things have gotten better. You can do this Aimee we have faith in you. Keep talking to us, to crisis team to whoever you need to and we'll help you through this you don't have to go through this alone.
I'm sorry I can't reply to all the posts right now I'm really tired. I'm likely going to go to bed but if I don't fall asleep I'll keep posting and reply.
Aimee I have to say, I greatly admire that you are reaching out to crisis and reducing your uni work load. Both very difficult things to do, so you should be proud of that. I hope you are getting the help you need and now with the reduced work load perhaps you can get some much needed rest.
Please keep in contact with crisis when you feel unsafe. This world needs you! You are kind and beautiful, so we don't want you going anywhere! Stay strong lovely.x
Thank you. I tried again so I called crisis they told he to take a Valium and go to sleep and stayed the phone while I did so that is nice.
Then I got an email from the course coordinator wanting more details of my mental health problems which scares me. I don't want to tell her via email is it unreasonable to day it would be better in s meeting? ?? Cause they'd what I did buy suggested email was ok if required as she is very busy. This lady is not approachable. Its nice she wants to understand "you always look so happy" she says but she's the most powerful person on the course I will need to censor the severity
Last edited by Snow White. : 02-08-2013 at 12:50 PM.
Much calmer, talked to s uni friend about the email and I'm in my be d now cleaned my tattoo so I'm ready to sleep safely. . Thank you all tonight could have gone much worse Thanks fit bring here x
Things were okay for a second then I remembered last night. But I reached out for help which is ultimately s good thing. Now that my work load is reduced because in not preparing s report for confirmation I might spend some time today doing homework and seeing how my concentration is. Or at least clean the house. Something positive. But I'm so tired I think more sleep first.
I managed to get some work done and my head feels clearer, where this morning I was very very sad. And I did a little bit of organizing and importantly i finally had a shower and did a wash off clothes :)
I have good plans for tomorrow too that are keeping me busy all day and then crisis will come to chat in the evening.
I think now without the pressure of organising confirmation is gone I can focus on my homework. There's still bits to go like cleaning the house and my room. And I'm very nervous about talking to the coordinator on Wednesday but that is laters problem. For now I'm trying to focus on the little gains I've made today.
Tomorrow in the morning I'm going to a farmers market to pick up some sweet treats for my Aunty and I, as I am then going to her house for lunch (Sunday roast!!) and then I'll have to pop home to see the crisis team people.
Hope you're okay and having a good day Aimee! You are doing so well <3
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I just keep flipping back. I think I'm broken in my mind, I think I'm really, really unwell.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : self-harm
I just want to slash my wrists open and I bought more alcohol. The music told me to hurt myself and I think it's a good idea, I think I could go deep. But if I don't go deep enough I'll just have to have a bandage which would be both obvious and a suicide gesture and I don't want that.
The moods swings, the ups and downs and desire to hurt myself, I'm happy to say I have borderline personality disorder now if someone can just fucking help me! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
I want to start cutting again, what does it matter? I bet I can hide it.
(P.S. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement xxxx)
