I desperately need it to be tomorrow.
& I'm scared of the blood in my vomit.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
You sir, cannot be trusted. Mind you, I'm smirking to myself while I type this...because I always knew you had a secret. You knew about this place before I told you. I should have figured it out. Not too many people have friends in England when they never talk about having gone there. Then again, maybe I'm just guessing something.
why do you hate me so much? why are you going out of your way to hurt me farther little at a time? please stop because i can't take it. i can't keep going like this. i know that a big part of me doesn't want to die yet - so please stop pushing me like this.
The whole idea is incomprehendable to me.
Blame it on experience, but I can't quite believe you.
All I know is that when you're not here I miss you, and when I'm in your arms I am safest.
Just don't expect me to open my soul to you quite yet, there are some things I can't admit to myself.
get the fuck out of my fucking scene you shitty poseur. GUESS WHAT DUMBASS your not punk, you not, edgy. All you are is a shitty off brand copy of me. Get a fucking life.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I'm sure you'll be sad to know that all the time you spent trying to make me feel like a shit person - not worthy of love or praise - and it's taken a lot of strength not to start truely believing it - but I don't believe it. I'm a kind, caring person - maybe I just didn't think you deserved to see that side of me but I showed it regardless. Or on the other hand maybe you are right - maybe I'm an awful person - maybe I'll drive all my girlfriends away - maybe no one will ever like me enough to want to spend their life with me - and 15years will go by and I'll be 35 and I'll be alone and everyone I've been with will have moved on...but I don't need to think about whether that's a possibility or not or consider whether I need to change myself and work on becoming a better person...but you do...cos you're already there.
Why did she give you a dirty look?! Do you honestly have no idea what you've done? Maybe because she's very protective of me? I really hope that text was because you felt guilty. Not because you are even more of a dick than I thought and genuinely don't understand all the trouble you've caused. Is it any wonder she gave you a dirty look? You slept with me and then started ignoring me because you wanted to sleep with one of my best friends! I know it was always very casual, but there's casual and then there's complete douche. Then, when you saw us out on Saturday, you spent the whole night trying to compete with me. It was pathetic, you looked like you were really putting on a show. I might have believed it, hey she's your girlfriend (who I feel more and more sorry for, she's really sweet, I feel like I really betrayed her), but every time I turned around you were staring at me, watching what I was doing. I know it drove you crazy that I ignored you. Otherwise you never would have texted me after she'd gone to sleep. I'm not a tease. I've just moved on from you. I was having fun with someone new. A guy who isn't going to massively fuck me around. He's cute and single and I don't work with him! Get over it ok? You pretended to be all excited for me when I told you I was going on a date last week. But you're such a male chauvinist that you don't think any girl should be allowed to be free from you until you're done with them. However "casual" your relationship. You think all girls should just fall at your feet whenever you click your fingers. And it's rally hard not to, you have this attraction, this hold. It's hard to explain. However badly you treat me, however badly you treat us, we get more and more roped in. I guess it's like I expect there to be something really really good in the end to make up for all the shit I put up with. But there isn't. It's so masochistic. You aren't even that good, you just have a huge ego. I guess that's another reason I continued, I assumed it had to get better. It didn't.
