*crawls nervously onto the bouncy castle* Please dont bounce near me... I've just eaten and it might make me sick. *Finds a corner and sits in it, very muchly not bouncing, just in case*
I am kind of on a diet now... I mean, I usually eat healthily anyway, except when I go on mini-binges. :( (Those just started recently.) I need to lose a good deal of weight (well, a "good deal" according to me, not my personal trainer/good friend)... ugh. I'm not good at actually making meal plans and sticking to them but it's not like we eat fast food a lot or anything... or pizza... or anything high in calories except at times. I don't know, does that make any sense?
Yes, it makes sense. If you keep feeling like this I still recommend a protein diet though. You can eat a lot then too :P
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Yep, I go psychotic. I have psychotic bipolar type II... have had a lot of hallucinations, both visual & auditory, in the past. I don't even remember when the voices started but the Geodon - when I started it in 2006 - made my mind so QUIET that I have to think that the voices had been there maybe my entire life? I really don't know. The most recently I've been psychotic was in January, but that was sleeplessness-induced. So yeah... April needs to get a LOT of sleep!!
I see.
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Awh... but doesn't SI always bring relief? or have you been abstaining from it for awhile until just now? *cuddles*
I haven't done it since I was 14. Then, it didn't matter if I did it or not, I still felt like crap. I'm 20 now. Now, people have driven me far enough to get me to crying after I did it. Which means I am starting to block out crying.
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Ahh, didn't know you were still living at home. Makes sense to tell them then... and no, no condemnation for still living at home. Heck, had I not gotten married, I still would be living at home. :)
Oh, you're married? That's interesting. And yes, I don't really like the idea of my parents getting into my head.
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I was at uni. And whenever I'm at uni I want to be home... :( I have an appt with my advisor/senior sem prof on Thursday... I trust him quite a lot, he knows everything that's going on with me (mostly), so yeah. And I need to talk to another prof who let me make up an assignment. Urgh. Not looking forward so much to that - I trust her too, and she knows some of my issues but not all of them... but I don't know her as well. :-X
Well, good luck then.
*hugs*
Last edited by lynx : 02-03-2010 at 02:31 PM.
Reason: forgot to mention that at 14 SI didn't bring relief
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*cuddles everyone*
*hides* is feeling rather vunerable and scared at the moment, plus he is trying to start his essay, which is very had with no motivation.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
I went to talk with that prof about how I was doing in her class and how I was making out in life in general, & she said (among other things) that:
- she doubts I'll get an A in the class from how I've been working so far
- she thinks a B+ average for this term would be WONDERFUL for how awful things in my personal life have been going
- she thinks that I ought to switch therapists because CBT isn't going to help me any more; I need Gestalt and EMDR
- she wants me to update her on how I'm doing on a semi-regular basis, and if I ever need to talk she's there for me (which I thought was very nice of her to say)
So yeah... another person telling me to switch therapists. And no A in her course... damnit!!! :( I was/am trying so hard, though, not as hard as I could, certainly, but things keep getting in the way. Like my obsessive thinking about b/ping etc.
And then a letter came in the mail from my "ex-best friend" ... she wrote about how she doesn't think that she's the same person that she used to be and so I don't really miss who she is now, I miss who she was then... she said that she takes as close to 18 credit hours as possible and is active in 43958793458734 different organizations and events (whereas I try to take 12 credits if possible, minimum to be fulltime, and do nothing extra on campus)... she wonders why I have a gun, as she sees no point in it, and worries about me because of it... just stuff like that.
I don't know, it was all very frustrating and made me want to cry. :(
*hides in the darkest corner again* :(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*cuddles up to scarletdreamer in the dark corner* At least your prof was being honest with you, and offering to help was nice. I went through a similar thing in high school and I know it sucks.
As for the letter, I dont know why shes your ex best friend obviously, but it seems to me like she is trryin to help, saying that shes worried, and is wanting you to do well by maybe pointing out what she is doing to maybe try and get you to do something similar. she just maybe chose a crappy way of doing it?
Silentgirl: If you want to PM me, feel free, then you're not talkin, you're typing. Who are you trying to talk to? and why are you finding it so difficult?
. How 'bout graduation? Isn't that motivating you?
