I went to church today. I've been having trouble getting back into the whole "church thing" because I was so deeply wounded by my old church. My story is a horror story that people almost always have to catch themselves so they don't fall over when they hear it. It's painful, and I'm trying to remind myself that all churches aren't like that.
It's just hard being comfortable in a church setting because I'm kind of suspicious about things. I'm trying to relax and let myself know it's OK... it's just so difficult.
To make a really long story really short, I told my YP that my father was doing illegal activities. He took it to the senior pastor. Both of them discouraged me from going to the police. I did anyway. When I made that decision, the YP turned around and told my father pretty much everything I'd ever told him. Which dates back to 8th grade, as I was a senior in high school at the time. I lost most of my friends, as I'd update them on my life, they would tell jerkface YP, and YP would tell my father. My YP was the one "counseling" my father, when my father was in his late 50's!
It was all sorts of warped. It gets a bit messier than that, but that's the general gist.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
rustedchains, i'm sorry you went through that. i have trouble with churches too, especially lately. i thought i was over all it but, today for instance, just being there was grating on my nerves so badly i couldn't pay attention to anything the pastor was saying. it's rough. i'd say the best thing to do is find good christian friends, and then you have church without the buildings and beauracracy.
sorry i haven't been around. for some reason the thread subscription wasn't working, i thought no one was posting...i logged on today with the intention of PMing all of you to see what was up, and here it was my account going crazy :) i think i've fixed it now.
to all you new folks, i'm really glad you're here. i'm jacie, 18 and going to community college, eventually med school. i've got nearly everything you can think of in my past, so it's hard to shock me, and i'm here if you want to talk about anything. i'm not a font of endless wisdom or anything, but i do my best.
to the "old crowd" who know some of what's been going on at my church...the young adults group is disbanding, i think. it looks like there may be a chance for us to save the friendships we had. thank you to everyone who's been praying, because today for the first time in a long time i feel like there's hope for us all. but, right now i feel like i've got no skin on. it's been a long time since i *felt* this much. i came so close to messing up almost 11 months yesterday. close enough that if God hadn't been watching out for me (and I'm sure that's what it was)...I would be right back fighting again. but through no effort of mine, he kept me safe. the blade was too dull to cut my skin. (seriously. does that even HAPPEN? 0.o) so...a big thank-you to god for that one. i'm all messed up right now, though. please keep me in your prayers (I feel strange saying that, because I'm just...this weird girl you met on the internet, right? But then all of you have a special place in my heart and I pray for you, so maybe it's not that weird...).
thank you to everyone who's been praying, because today for the first time in a long time i feel like there's hope for us all. but, right now i feel like i've got no skin on. it's been a long time since i *felt* this much. i came so close to messing up almost 11 months yesterday. close enough that if God hadn't been watching out for me (and I'm sure that's what it was)...I would be right back fighting again. but through no effort of mine, he kept me safe. the blade was too dull to cut my skin. (seriously. does that even HAPPEN? 0.o) so...a big thank-you to god for that one. i'm all messed up right now, though. please keep me in your prayers (I feel strange saying that, because I'm just...this weird girl you met on the internet, right? But then all of you have a special place in my heart and I pray for you, so maybe it's not that weird...).
your like a sister to me jacie
the tool you had at just that moment was too dul that was god
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Even though none of us have ever met, we're a close knit group.
We are a church.
amen
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Just because I said I quit, does not make it true.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA-Virginia.
I am currently:
i am sorry love (rustedchains).
but remember this, "your pain today will be of greater use to you in the future".
Last edited by Bella Cullen : 13-10-2008 at 06:11 AM.
Reason: i messed up.
"Do you want me to sing to you? I will sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." -Edward Cullen.
FYI: I had an awsome picture that moves of Sweeney Todd to go here. But it said that I can only have one picture. HOW DUUMB. Please fix that. (x thanxx.
"No! Not barker anymore. That man is dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd, and he will have his revenge." -Sweeney Todd.
hey guys i hadn't posted in a while so i felt like it was time =)
ok...so there's this one quote i heard and i really really like it...i don't even know who the first person who said it was but it says
"never doubt in the darkness what i told you in the light"
its talking from God's perspective and i thought it was cool +)
When life throughs lemons, make apple pie, then sit back and wonder how the **** you got there :)
I'm not christian, but I just wondered how people who turned christian came to be like that?
I mean were u totally athiest? Did you always think there was possibly a God, just did not follow a religion?
I really admire your faith :) I'm certain her catholism help my nan in grieving for my grandad, and since then ive kind of been jealous of people who have their faith, lol.
<3
My grandad is a vicar but the family I live with aren't religious and about two years ago my grandad and nan decided (if we wanted to) for me and my two cousins to get confirmed. I decided to goto the lessons we had to goto to see what It was like and then I could decide wheather I actually wanted to be confirmed. I prayed a couple of times when we were having these lessons and gradually I just had this really really strong belief in god, I didnt really beleive before. I felt as if I had 'seen the light' lol and I feel like I have become a better person since I have become more religious :)
When life throughs lemons, make apple pie, then sit back and wonder how the **** you got there :)
I'm not christian, but I just wondered how people who turned christian came to be like that?
I mean were u totally athiest? Did you always think there was possibly a God, just did not follow a religion?
I really admire your faith :) I'm certain her catholism help my nan in grieving for my grandad, and since then ive kind of been jealous of people who have their faith, lol.
I was an agnostic in a christian family. I came to faith after a long series of debates and books. It made more sence to believe than disbelieve. By believing i no that god has helped me with my depression
in other news i feel like the world is crashing down on me. so pray for me that i dont do anything stupid
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
ph1sh, a vicar is, by definition, "a person acting as priest of a parish in place of the rector, or as representative of a religious community to which tithes belong."
*..life in pain.. *-my older sis; Sweetest Downfall-my jellybean; greenspot-my cousin; TokioPanik!-my TokioHotelTwin; darkdestiny-my pet monkey; I-Feel-Infinate-my gerbil; frombullets2black-my llama; livingnotbreathing-my fellow spy; UnsureOne-my pet goldfish; xXxHis_fallen_angelxXx-my pet monkey; ashy_ashy18-my sister; Aryn is my fellow ninja and partner in crime
Apocalyptic and insane, but my dreams will never change
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
