I wish I didn't love you. I wish I hadn't made a fool of myself, like I did. You missed something you can never get back, and you hurt someone that truly loved you for all of your flaws and more. I regret trusting you, I regret being with you, staying with you, and letting you toy with me like that. But I'll never regret loving you.
In all honesty, I'm glad she dumped you. I was rooting for it. She's happier now.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
I dont hate you
I tell everyone i do
Its because i love you
and i jelouse that you've moved on
and left me behind
Now you love her.
Shes cheating on you.
i want to tell you
but you'd just think i was doing it to destroy you and her
I feel like im in a panic
Like I need to throw up just one more time
Just to see if I can still do it
It's been so long
I need to know that I'm still in control
That my willpower didn't just vanish the same way my bones did under my pudge.
"his face says a million words... they're just not the words I want to hear."
Longest without SI: 10 months
Last SI: January 29th 2008
Last Purge: May 2008
Why cant you be the same person you used to be
I was counting on that
I wished for it
But you changed
&
I hate who you've become.
"his face says a million words... they're just not the words I want to hear."
Longest without SI: 10 months
Last SI: January 29th 2008
Last Purge: May 2008
I'm so sorry for lying, and being such a hypocrite. I wish I could stop, or at least tell you what I'm doing, but it so hard watching you do the same thing every day.
Dan-
Today I realized what I miss most is laying there with you. I've never felt safer. I realized we're too broken to date each other at this point in our lives. I see that now. We can be friends now. I love you still, but as one of my dearest friends. Go to her. If she will be kind to you, love her. You need to resolve your feelings before you can love another.
I need to focus on recovery, not a relationship. This break-up taught me just how close to the edge I could come, how scary it is to be there, and why I need to focus on me. I almost broke one too many times for my comfort.
What I need is for us to be comfortable around each other, to be able to just lay there and clear our minds. To listen to each other, and help one another to our appropriate recovery. Because that's what we're doing - recovering. While it's not from the same thing, we can still help each other. Take my hand and I promise you won't be alone in this.
I really wish I could talk to you like I used to. I'm trying, I swear. But there's distance between us now, and that's my fault. I keep lying to you, but you used to know when I was. I hope I'll get my end pulled together, but the way I am, I really need your help. I need you to get close to me, or screw that and just make me feel like we're close. Even that would be enough; it could get me through one more week. At least it would keep me from getting worse. Please, just talk to me.
I'm confused, and I feel like I'm acting like a 9 year girl (no offense to 9 year old girls intended). I'm worried that I'm embarrassing myself when I start running my mouth without saying anything. What I'm really scared about is that we aren't friends anymore.
Big sister... i love you, and we have become so much closer recently, but secretly i hope that u are not having twins, tbh i dont think u will cope with 3 under 3's.
mum i duno u just really hack me off, i love you i want to spend time with u, and i do not want to here about him n his kids n what u do with them! its not fair! we were ment to go swimming not u and them!!
daddy i miss you. i hate u living away now. im happy that u are happy, but i still need that time with you. im still ur little princess.
james i know im a compleat pain. i love you so much, i love everyting about you and just eing with you.
My hero wears Combat boots and Camos!
I love that boy!! xxxxx
People walk in and out of our lives everyday, But those special people leave footprints in our hearts and minds.
I wish you guys would compliment me and make me feel good about myself instead of complimenting some other girl...
I wish you surprise me with flowers or something when you see me, like you used to do when we first started to go out.
I wish you'd open up more to me and tell me how you feel....
I wish I could trust you more, but I'm so insecure
i wish i could hold you for hours and talk about anything we like.
i wish we could hold hands and kiss eachother goodbye.
i wish you knew how i feel
and i wish you felt the same way.
because you're the last thing i think about before i go to sleep,
the first thing i think about when i wake up.
the reason i get out of bed in the morning.
and i love you.
i really really wish that you would care. i really want to talk to you, but you probably hate me, or just don't care anymore. and yes i stopped talking to you and all, but you make me so angry sometimes, like you call my friend and say your "concerned" about me, but then if i see you... you just kinda act like you don't know me. And i hate that if i ever told you any of this you would roll your eyes and say i'm making it up, or something. and i still hate you for saying i cut for attention, honestly, i really just don't understand that. i don't get why you would say that, i just don't. and i can imagine that if you ever saw this, or if i ever told you any of this, you would just say its a bunch of c**p. and the thing that i hate the most is that i still care about you, even though we don't talk. and i really wish that you would care enough to try and fix our friendship, i just can't imagine never talking to you again, but i think thats how its going to be...
[color=Green]from her cowboy boots to her down home roots <3
