Ugh this is pointless. Really want to give up, really wish I was alone
In the house and i could go a head with a plan. I'm just living
A complete lie. I'm not okay, hate pretending I'm.
I hate me. I need to get rid of me. Quickly... as soon as possible... I'm evil, I don't deserve to be alive... I just want to f***ing die right now. Like, RIGHT now. Can't stand me.
I finally talked to someone about my suicidal thoughts!!!
It did happen after I had a huge meltdown while helping my family move stuff from my sister's place to another place... I basically threatened to kill myself because I was feeling stressed...
Then after it happened and my family had lunch, my mom and I talked about it. We decided to go to a church that has a counseling center as well sometime... (Not sure when as it starts in the fall.)
Yeah... I don't feel alone anymore... And I'm also glad that my mom was willing to talk to me about it.
Me... I came here because I have no one to talk to, and I am too shy to call a helpline or something... I really just want to do it, like truly and that scares me...
i cant go on, i need to die. i had planned to do it last night but i walked past my sisters bedrooms and looked in on them all curled up asleep and i knew that it would mess them up. but now i wish i had and i am cross with myself. i cant cope with all the things in my head, the voices, the things i see, the weird thoughts. its all too much, i cant go on. i have to die
My dreams have been crushed, I don't have real friends, my parents dont even love me anymore... The world is just an awful awful place and it doesn't look like it gets much better... Things have just been snowballing one after the other and it just makes me so sad... The place I live at makes me feel depressed, I can't lose all this fat, I feel so ugly and it hurts :'( too much drama, my family hates me, i get jealous of people with nice families... I just feel so down... I am unloved and I am dumb, I failed school so I am nothing like everyone tells me...
Theres no point staying round anymore, i cant handle feeling the way i feel i knew anymore, i hate myself and everything ive done with my life! im pathetic. i need to go.
without hope, theres no life. so whats my point in living?
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.