also..... you say holly that you tried to avoid peoples questions about your mum dying ect and you felt so so guilty but..... then why did you go and make a post on it and keep people updated about the situation??!!! (post now removed by mods) you must of wanted something out of it?? extra support?? attention?? mabie for people to stop going on about your gambling habits or drinking (cos you would have an excuse then if your mum did die to keep continuing the way you were) was it for people to feel sorry for you?? you must know even a teeny wee bit why you did it?? make you feel good to begin with getting all the attention and support?? then realised you dug yourself an even bigger hole??
yeah you did say it.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I know you said it Sam and I agreed with it, thats what I meant.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I completely understand that and don't blame anyone for their reaction.
I'm going to bed as well, have taken my meds and have an appt with my cpn in the morning.
Take care everyone x
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Hope everyone is ok this morning, I know still in shock over what happened but wanted to give you all *hugs*. I know a lot of you dont know me well but I really do care about you all and love you guys. After what happened I guess its goign to be so much harder to trust people on here where it always felt safe.
what are you all doing today? I have to go to my daughters ( both of them) school as they have a paediatrician appointment. My youngest daughter starts inclusion today for one morning a week. ( they go to a special school)
Last edited by youngatheart : 10-06-2010 at 08:13 AM.
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
All i can say is that it brings back very bad memories of when i was let down by someone else on Ryl a few years back and it still affects me now...I am hurt and i dont think i can forgive.
These things happen few and far between but the affects can be devastating for an individual. I trusted you. I believed you. I sympathised and cared about you and now i feel they are all wasted emotions......
right .....
thanks for thinking of me Claire...im really scared.got to leave in 10 minutes..hope hes nicer towards me than he was last time, maybe not so abrupt
Hope the gym goes well claire xx
Hope the appointments goes well for your daughters Sam xx
I'm sorry Rowie, I really am and I understand you can't trust me, or anyone for that matter and I want to thank you for the support you have shown me, I am sorry that I let you down and everyone ele for that matter. Good luck with your appointments.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
well that was a waste of time..
20mins instead of the 30mins it was meant to last for. He really didnt know what to say...showed me breathing exercises which i knew anyway and just talked about my sleep patterns and about my therapy that ive stopped for the time being. I personally feel that he was out of his depth.
So i guess that because he saw me, im not going to be assessed by the cmht
Its up to me if i want to see him again....so its a no go
It's really upset me, i just dont get how you could lie about your mum dieing.
Rowie - i'm sorry your appointment didn't go as you expected.
I've got a package sitting on the table and i dont know if i should open it or not!
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
i don't know why but its just sitting!
I think its watching me lol.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
The thing i really dont get is when you agreed with sam, saying it was a way to get people to not concentrate on your alcohol and gambaling. The thing is you talk about it openly here and no one went on about it 24/7, inface no one said much about any of it, so none of us where focusing on it at all, so that reason doesnt make any sence when you yourself talk about it all the time on here.
Rowie im sorry it didnt go good. I think you have to fight with your docotr to get the treatnemt you want hun. Yeah open it, personally i love mail ha ha
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
i think i'll open it when i get back from the dentist, i hope she don't wanna clean my teeth because that hurts real bad!
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
i know what you mean but to me it's really painful.
I knew i wanted to say something but i just lept forgetting!
I showe my mum my arms for the first time seen's my SI got really bad, and on the upside aswell ive not done it for 8 weeks now so im getting somewhere with it slowly!
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
