Hun, please keep posting, you are worrying me. I'm sorry I can't be a little more insightful or helpful but I am here for you and thinking of you!
Love you!
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I really, really hope you're okay.
I'm sending you a PM and hoping that you're hanging on.
Because you're worth it.
And these people? Are not, they're not worth ending your life over.
I love you Laura.
Hey Laura hun. I hope your ok.. or at least.. better then you have been feeling? Sorry I haven't been around hun. Always here though. Hope to hear from you *cuddles*
i hope your ok and hanging on.. i know it's difficult i really do but it's something to know that all the people here are on your side and it is a credit to u that everyone thinks highly of u. xxx
I hope Laura doesn't mind me updating this. Morrigan (Irene) turned up at Laura's house late last night. I don't know if she is still there but hoping she is.
Take care hun. Thinking of you.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I just want to say, i'm currently "OK", or as "OK" as i can be.
Irene (Morrigan) randomly turned up on my doorstep at 11.30pm last night having got the last train from London to mine..she said because i'm not feeling good she just wanted to come see me.
We ended up getting wrecked on er..certain substances and drinking too much vodka, and staying up all night. Currently living on not much sleep.
I had a cry earliar to her, about stuff. My daughter, mainly, about how i miss her.
Right now, she's here, and to have someone i love dearly be physically here means a lot to me right now. In my head..i want to continue with my plans, but i have a slight notion in my head that Irene will be staying until she knows i'm safe..
I wanted to thank you all personally for your beautiful words and PM's, it means the world to me, really it does, and i'm sorry at this current time i'm unable to reply properly to you individually. But with company, it's slightly anti-social to sit on a site. I hope you understand.
I promise to try and keep you updated over tonight/tomorrow (tomorrow night being when i planned to go..)..if Irene goes back home before then..i probably will go through with my plans. But i feel so..sort of..fulfilled after having met her, she's one of my best friends and i'm so glad she's here with me right now.
Love to all of you, i'm sorry for worrying you..
Laura x
I'm glad Irene is with you. It must have been good to have someone to speak to in person. I hope you have a good evening. Please reconsider re tomorrow evening. Love you!
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I know we haven't got on to well, and our conversations have been mainly disagreements over on another thread, but I just wanted to post here, I hope you don't mind.
I'm please that your friend has come to be with you, having someone show you they care for you can be amazing, it's kinda, it's as if that little part that needs someone isn't empty any more and it's being filled a teeny bit. I don't know the full story, and I'm not going to pretend to know either. I just hope that you can stay safe, and keep yourself safe, and perhaps, if you friend stays, she can help you too. She sounds like she cares for you an awful lot, along with everyone on this thread.
Take good care of you, everyone on here wants you around. xx
[Edit] - Also meant to add, I completely understand your feelings towards the Crisis Team, I have had not so good, urrrm, times with them too. She was probably just trying to enable you to have some support and help over this weekend whilst you are feeling so low. I can understand that you don't want to speak to them though. Do you think there is any other help that with her help you can access?
Last edited by Alone and Scared : 03-05-2009 at 03:12 PM.
Reason: I'm tired.
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I'm sorry i can't talk right now.
Fat useless piece of sh*t.
Still thinking about going later tonight/early hours of the morning.
Slept the majority of the day, shouldn't have mixed up drugs, alcohol and benzo's on Friday night.
Irene went this afternoon.
I am ashamed that she's met me. I'm so fat. So disgusting. So vile that all i've done is cried since she left.
Can't think. Sorry.
But thankyou all, and i really mean that.
x
Can't breathe. Feel anxious/agitated. Can't settle.
Laying here with a hot water bottle on my back because it's hurting so much.
Feeling like i've pushed Irene away but i don't think i have. I'm so so paranoid about our meet now that its making me feel sick. What if i'm too clingy? What if i've pushed her away? What if i'm talking too much to her? What if she hated everything about me? What if..what if..what if..
Greasy hair is surrounding my shoulders, i have a migraine coming on, my glands are swollen and i feel like death. And yet, all i can think of is leaving this house and doing the deed, f*ck everything else.
I'm trying to take over the recommended dosage of benzos, i mean, surely it's better to knock me out that way than me take a massive massive overdose?
On the other hand, maybe they won't work and i'll be stuck.
I'm just talking to myself. I feel lonely, scared, and emotional.
So alone.
