Hey, I'm sorry you've had a hard time with people.
I get a lot of trouble like that sometimes, because people shout when Sally is out because they think I'm being, "unnecessarily stupid and immature" but she is only 4...I can't help that.
*big cuddles*
I'm sorry that happened, even if someone doesn't understand it doesn't mean they have to be unpleasant about it.
Take care of yourself
xxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
As some of you know, I have two selves/parts. I have me, and the Other one.
I just looked in the mirror earlier, and noticed how the two sides of my face look different. My left side is very much me, calm, steady, contained. The right side of my face is sad, exhausted, full of suppressed feeling, full of shadows. Very much my Other.
Being split emotionally/in my psyche... if that wasn't enough... it shows physically too, probably all the time, if I look, and if others are sensitive to seeing it.
It's rather frightening. But also liberating, in an unexpected kind of way, that my pain and my wellness are both present, and, well, tangible in that way.
I'm feeling really vulnerable and open at the moment, which I guess is why it's extra visible.
I just wonder if I'm alone in this kind of experience......
I'm glad you're feeling better :) Take gentle care of yourself while you're feeling vulnerable and fragile. Take sometime for yourself and don't push yourself too far ok? It's easy to push yourself too far in trying to "get on with life" when you're feeling like that, so try and take things as easy as you can.
*hugs*
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
recently got through a scrape in chat and am now avoiding it, so you're not alone with that one
Stellata i can relate to what you've said. i get mixed reviews about the body and face thing so often its become a way of life! i'm pretty sure its part of being co-conscious, but i don't know what the deal is when other's are in control of the body
and that's one thing that's really getting to me right now. having no control when someone takes over and doing stuff that i get the flack for. i know i'm taking a risk in writing this here but its really painful and i just want to witness what's going on for me externally
this thread is wonderful cos it makes me feel less like a weirdo that makes stuff up (and i know that's the experience of many multiples... sorry if that term is offensive to anyone)
I'm definitely co-conscious. Except my Other isn't really aware of me. It's the other way round. And that makes it hard to build relationships - internally and externally.
I just keep working at making connections of past:present. It's very healing.
thanks Stellata. sounds like you're doing really good work and i think there are many paths to healing so no single one is 'the right one' its just what works for you.. that's what i've learned counts in the end
heard of Lifespan Integration? i've yet to actually read it but its had rave reviews from complex trauma therapists i know. there are a few therapists that use it and they say the book goes a long way... for some it may be worth sharing if you have a therapist... just an idea.. i wana encourage healing here... the book is somewhat hard to find but its called lifespan integration by peggy pace
oh and TOAES, that patronising 'attention seeking' is so last century anyway so they're showing their ignorance.. the most recent and perhaps more acceptable 'label' is attachment seeking (and hey, do i need my attachments with those that matter to me!) which means simply trying to connect with others at a deeper level... and for me, i don't think integration is the answer, just better communication and making a system map really can help
Infants who experience birth trauma, or even in-utero trauma, may have that traumatic element embedded
this is me... wow I actually (kinda) understand why I am the way I am!!!
Thanks so much for starting this thread and then posting that article Katie!!!
(((hugs))) I will most definitely be back here.
P.S.
I have never been diagnosed with any form of DID but it makes sense to me.
I tend to dissociate from "life" a lot.
I guess because I hate myself so much and I wish I wasn't me...
does that make sense?
We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
Yes, that makes sense, Amanda. Me too. 'Learning to live with myself' is an ongoing journey....
I have that book by Scaer. It's excellent. Very recommended. :)
Chris, [did I get the name right?] I've not heard of lifespan integration, but I kind of get the jist. My therapy is primarily attachment/object relations based...
*wanders in looking sad*
I'm kinda worred...
I'm moving soon, and all the stress is making me zone out more than usual. I'm finding it hard to keep control of everything or even understand whats going on day to day.
China is the worst, the confusion and stress is making her extreamly angry, she went off on one yesterday for god knows what reason. I'm afraid what she might do...
Living day to day life is hard enough, but right now, it's nearing impossible. To make it worse, my CPN has buggared off somewhere (this is 4 weeks now I haven't heard from him since he missed our last appointment) I'm seeing my GP on Monday, but balls if he'll be any help.
Sorry to babble on, I think I just need a cuddle... We all need a cuddle to be honest, we're all petrified... The coming change is scaring us all
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
I understand how difficult change can be. ((hugs)) I moved house last October, and it really destabilised me for a while - it wasn't so much the actual move itself that distressed me, it was all the exposure that moving entails - seeing the bank, changing insurance details, removal men, plumbers... all of that. ((more hugs))
We've also got changes at work coming up in the next little while.. which is hard work.
