I read it today.
You have no idea quite how scared I am for you, because you don't even know I necessarily know..
And I can't tell you...
I can't assume you want to talk about it. Or anything like that. Because you're so like me. We put up walls to block the ones out that we know know the most about us. And technically who could help us the most.
I love you so unbelieveably much. I don't want you to ruin your life like this. You're worth so much more than this. So much more than you give yourself credit for.
Please don't let this happen to you. I can't lose you. I want to help you. But I need you to let me in before I can. I want to see you. And hug you. And just let you know.
Please take care.
I don't know what to do.
xxxxxxxx
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Sometimes i'm not as happy as i pretend i am. None of us are but you couldn't cope if i fell apart in front of you. What'd you do if i stopped making you laugh and keeping you upbeat. What'd you do if you realised i feel just as **** as you? WHAT THE **** WOULD YOU DO THEN THEN YOU SILLY LITTLE GIRL
Why do you do this to me? Sometimes I feel like I could tell you anything, and then you go ahead and be utterly rude, making me feel like a complete idiot. I can see that you suffer too, and I want you to know that I understand. I want you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes I feel like you show off and play the fool because you genuinely think that no one will like you otherwise. Deep down you are very insecure, and I can see that you are hiding it. I feel like you push me away when I get too close, and that upsets me. I know that you are lonely. I know that when you get home you feel alone. Then there are the moments of you; no disguises, utterly open and honest. You can be so kind, it completely transforms you. I know you are a good person, I wish you could see that. I wish you would show that side of yourself more often. I think maybe you're scared of affection in a way that even I'm not, but I want to be affectionate with you, and I think secretly you might want to be affectionate with me.
I'm sorry you're leaving. I guess what it really boils down to is the simple fact that I don't want you to go. I'll miss you. I love you.
xx
i miss you so so much, i really do...i wish we cud tlk more n that u cud be here with me to cuddle up to and make each other smile. its been rubbish but we have come thru it ok so far :) less than a week now :) i really cant wait, will be nice to have a proper chat n to be able to see you again. Always remember that i love you, no matter what may go thru ur mind sometimes (if it does?) I'm always here for you xXx
I will not be broken, tho' I am the one that bleeds
Princess Alice, crazy, lazy and sweet
