Thank you so much for the support guys, currently on rest period. Sorry I havent been on for a wihle.
Things are pretty difficult at the moment, I have been very distressed, I have a broken arm which is making things harder, because eating with one hand is bloody hard.
Yesterday I had a totaly meltdown and run away, and then got caught by the police who I resisted from so, I was restrained etc and taken back to the unit, now I am on constant obs. I just want to cry.
My anorexia is just screaming at me and screaming at me and she wont shut up, and htis is so hard, and Im getting fat, and argh.
Sorry
hiya babe, i think eventhough you ran away and had to get found by the police it was great that you contacted me because it shows that you do still want this help! so well done for being strong and realsing what you did was wrong and not just disapearing!
I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time lately. Do you know how long you'll be on constant obs for? I think they're just trying to get you healthy, not trying to make you fat, just a healthier weight.
thats awful, when i was on constant i just tried not to poo but if you have to i was most worried about the sound it made as thats embarrassing and they generally let me have the door open so they could see me but not in the actually cubical so just shove A LOT of loo paper down there first so then there isnt a plopping noise! - sorry to be so crude talking about it, just some adivce.
they are just trying to protect you so you dont run again hun, they just want you safe and although its horrible for you im glad they are actually looking after you
Must be really hard Sam.Still worried and thinking of you.Please stop running away from the unit.im sorry youve been so distressed.Must be so hard.Please keep talking to the staff and using your yellow/red card system etc.
It must be so embarrassing being on constant obs.i would find it really hard and horrible.i really feel for you.i do fear this is what you may need right now to help you get better though because you have been just so so ill.You can do this Sammi.Take small steps and you CAN get better.
i love you and miss you so much but glad your in good hands.Dont worry that you cant here so often.We just all want to see you get better.
Love you and keep hanging on in there girl.Remember take each day and each step one at a time and you will get there.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Sammi, I know we've had our differences but I hope you can read this & take the positive message from it. I know treatment is hard, the invasion of privacy & everything - but you are STILL there. You tried to run, you got caught, but you are still there. Every single day, every single meal, group, meeting with your team is giving anorexia another middle finger salute. I'm really proud of you that you're sticking with it.
*offers a middle-finger-salute to anorexia along with all those you've given already!*
Running away serves you no purpose because each time you do so the unit will have to call the police and they WILL find you so there is no point in running away. Plus there are consequences that you will have to bear from running away. Constant obs, privelages taken away or reduced, etc. Can you see what I mean?
I think you are brave for going to the unit in the first place and for still being there now especially as you are a voluntary patient. You have set such an example for everyone with ED's who are facing IP treatment. I just think you're doing great even if you don't think that, I do!
Love and hugs,
Liddy x
ps, please can people not comment on my situation on Sammi's thread, it is unfair to her. Thanks :)
Last edited by fragile as glass : 29-08-2011 at 03:30 PM.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Ok I actually cant wee :( and my stomach hurts so bad, and I am getting told of for "fidgiting" but im doing it because it hurts, not because Im exercising, and I cant tell them I cant wee...its embarrasing, I havent weed since yesterday morning, Im wondering if its anything to do with the OD I took yesterday when I ran away? ARGH I dont know but it hurts *hides*
Do they know about the OD? If not you MUST tell them. They won't yell at you, they will be more concerned about your physical wellbeing and getting you to hospital ASAP.
And yes the inability to have a wee could well be due to the OD. You must be treated for this because it could make you very poorly having a back up in your bladder so to speak.
Find a member of staff honey now and talk to them. They won't get embarrassed, they seen and heard it all before. Go!
Hugs xx
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Please tell them about the OD if they dont know, the no weeing may well be down to that. Please please tell one of the staff, as fragile as glass said they wont be mad and can give you any medical help for the OD that you may need.
Please please tell them about not being able to pee! I know it sounds embarrassing but trust me medical staff have dealt with much much worse. It is really important because as well as potentially causing problems it could indicate a problem already occurring and if you catch it soon it may well be reversible but not if you leave it.
Also, this might sound really weird since you don't know me but if you need anything please feel free to ask, I live 10mins walk from the Oxford CH so can drop something off if you need anything.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
Just to let you know Sam is currently in general hospital on a renal ward becau
se of the water rention thing! So support would bé great because it must be very scary for her!
Love you sam, hope you get better soon! Keep fighting
Sammie!! I've been on RYL under a couple of other usernames and have seen you around before although you probably won't remember me. I was thinking of you recently and wondering how you are. I really really hope that this will be some help to you, you **can** do this, you **can** beat this xxx xxx
╰☆╮Are you afraid of the good you might do?╰☆╮
✪ If the soul is left in darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but the one who causes the darkness ✪
Hope things get easier for you soon! So glad your sticking it out, dont give up your getting through the worst of it. I would just think about reminding yourself when you undermine the help by running away or oding that everytime it happens your putting more obstacles in your way and taking away time and energy from being able to focus on recovery and ways to deal with how your feeling. This may be a coping measure? Anyway something to think about =)
You dont need to destroy yourself anymore, we all know you were good at that,
now retire from all that hard work you do
of bringing pain to those sweet eyes and heart
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