*cuddles into you*
you should be here too. i couldnt do this without you and everyone else whos been helping me.
i dont want to leave here i just want to stop her from coming/staying whenever she feels like it to hurt me. but how can i stop her when i cant even tell the lady its my sister, i feel so ashamed, vile and disgusting. i should be able to stop her shes just a female, why cant i why? im useless and weak so stupid
*wraps arms round you*
glad im able to help you a little :)
*whispers* bethany snuck in a post just before yours
its confusing i know, but her being your sister and a female doesnt mean you should automatically be able to stop her. especially when she brings others and gangs up on you, you really have little chance of fighting back. if you stay, you are going to be abused more. you might not need to leave your home forever, just until it can be made safe. your sister doesn't live with you hun?
i know you feel all those bad things, try to keep telling yourself its not true and its not your fault. if you need to have Bethany call for you. <3
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*holds onto you tightly*
i just feel that i should be able to stop her/them. im scared so scared. she says that no one will believe me that they will just laugh at me.
no she doesnt live with me, but has a key and comes and goes when she likes and stays when shes not at work etc.
why do i keep reliving the hurt and her even though shes not here now why wont she go away?
Ok. First thing would be to get the lock changed, so she can't come and go as she pleases. And your sister is wrong. You will be believed if you talk to the nice lady, the police, someone like that. We believe you. Get some help hun. The nice lady can help make you safe from her. Let her help.
I dunno hun. *whispers* im right here *snuggles you*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
:)
yes, you really need to talk to her. why dont you write down exactly what you want to say and read it? try to do something calming beforehand and have something nice planned for right after. cuddle a stuffed animal or hold something while you call if you ned to. youre not stupid, its understandable that youre scared, youre doing really well though. give it another try :)
*gently hugs* your welcome
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*brushes your hair out of your eyes*
yes you do :)
try doing some nice things for you, maybe watching a favorite movie, making yourself something nice to eat, doing something fun with a friend, paint your nails, anything nice
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
i feel like a failure so stupid and useless.
struggling to cope, had a meeting with the nice lady today she was asking lots of questions, i couldnt answer them i just cried and rocked curled up on chair.
want to harm so badly
need to be punished
yesterday was bad day sister asked friend to check on me
I want to reiterate that while your sister is away, you need to make every effort to alert someone to what's going on. I understand it's difficult to do, but it could make the difference between being stuck in this cycle of abuse or being safe.
How is her friend checking on you? Does she have a key? Have you changed the locks?
I understand that it can be difficult to break the cycle of negative thougts you have about yourself when you're constantly being told bad, false things about yourself. But if you continue to stew in your own negative self-image, you will never find the strength to do what you need to do to remove yourself from this situation.
shes going to come with me to see a dr on friday and supporting me as much as she can im just struggling with talking about the details at the moment and feel stupid.
she will support me in telling the police when im ready too.
i am trying
*snuggles you* sooo proud of you Jo, for talking to the nice lady and working on getting your locks fixed. Its ok to cry hun. Keep fighting, keep trying. I'm glad she's going to the doctors with you. Do everything you can and get as much help as you can to get yourself safe. *holds your hand* We're here. I know this is scary, youre doing great. Remember that you are not any of the bad things your sister says; your sister is the bad one, not you. Lets get you safe from her and her friends permanetly, ok?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
