Triggering (Suicide) - Support for Ian aka shadow

[Cazki]

Oh i give up its too much. Its better to forget i even have problems than to think about it may aswell isolate myself. I cant do this. If only i had enough pills but i havent. I blame myself for all of this well who elses fault is it? Precisely no ones but mine. Oh forget it it doesnt matter i may aswell rott and die. Im sorry i cant do this anymore.

[xxhappydaysxx]

Ian, you have nothing to blame yourself for. You have said you have depression and that is not your fault.
Im very glad you dont hvae enough pills to harm yourself. You have kept going for this long, you are much stronger than you realise.
You have lots of support here, im sorry you feel this bad.
Isolating yourself wont help your problems, it will make them harder to deal with later. Reach out to the people around you, family, friends, counsellors, doctors.
theyre are lots of people willing to help, the hard part is reaching out for that help, but i know you can do it
take care
xxx

[Cazki]

Surely if i cared about anyone on here i would get help i clearly dont then. See i dont deserve to live thats the trouble. Its totally my own fault. Im just a selfish idiot. All i think of everyday at the moment is about killing myself. But im still here pissing everyone off you off and being the selfish idiot iv always been. As people say the truth hurts well in this case this is the truth about me. Well it might aswell be. It is i should know better. As people say u get what you deserve..... grow up............get a life its ur own fault..................utr better off dead..............im a bully................im malicous......end of......

[xxhappydaysxx]

Its not lack of care for people on this site, its hard to help yourself and i know that. Its hard because you have low self esteem, to reach out for yourself.
You do deserve to live, and you deserve a chance of a better life. By reaching out you will be able to achieve that.
I understand how tiring and draining it is when all you think about is killing yourself. Maybe you could try writing it down, drawing, running, swimming, calling friends, looking at photo... etc to distract yourself. Writing and drawing works for me because then its out, but i find exercise helpful as well. I know it doesnt solve it, but at least youl be distracted for a while and channeling the negative feelings into something more worthwhile/positive?
Think about it, nothings an over night fix, but youre still here fighting it, and that shows something about you.

[Cazki]

I really need someone as if things couldnt get any worse well they have. My life is just one mistake no point in hanging around anymore might aswell be dead. I cant cope with college either my grades are not what id like them to be and im worried that if i leave il end up with a rubbish job i dont want to be like that. This is my second year at college i completed my first but the tutor did say to me that she thought i would struggle on the second course but she is right because i feel i am. Iv told tachers about it. I tell you one thing iv fucked my life up.

[bleedingdragon]

you deserve to live mate

YOU MUST GET HELP FROM SOMEONE NOW
Talk to your counsellor, ring A& E

you say you cant cope with everything, please get hold of someone
you need more help on top of what ryl gives you
we have told you what you need to do please do do it

get help right now mate

IF YOU DONT get help mate your not gonna get any better
i know its hard when you feel so bad

but ryl cant help you get the help

ONLY YOU CAN REACH OUT, talking about how you feel is good
but taking that step to get professional help now is what you need


i understand your struggling with college, BUT RIGHT NOW YOUR HEALTH
is more important than worrying about college,

YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH YOUR SUICIDAL RISKS AND HOW YOU FEEL
GET HOLD OF SOMEONE NOW OUTSIDE OF RYL

RING SOMEONE IAN GET HELP NOW, WE CAN ONLY GIVE
YOU EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, YOU ARE GOING ROUND AND ROUND
IN CIRCLES MATE AND NOT GETTING ANYWHERE
PLEASE GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW

Dave

[Cazki]

*Triggering* Suicide *od*

I really want to od so tempted iv been collecting for days now but still dont have enough. Im desperate to be dead. Its better than being alive. Why be alive if you cant cope? Why be alive if your better dead? Why be alive if your an awful friend?

[bleedingdragon]

Ian
I hear what your saying about really wanting to OD please try not to, im glad just now you dont have enough tablets right now. And i hear you about being desperate to be dead.

Please hold on ian
you say you cant cope and want to be dead, and youve told me you want to survive. And feel better.

So to get better YOU NEED to ask your counsellor to get you immediate support for how bad your feeling

how do you know if being dead will be better mate, staying alive and getting the right professional support for feeling suicidal WILL HELP YOU
begin to feel better.

why do you say your an awfull friend

I just want you to be able to reach out and get more professional support
to help you begin to feel better


i know everythings hard for you Ian but you need to help yourself matee
please take that step

Dav

[Cazki]

I feel so suicidal i cant do this anymore! I give up!

[Broken smile]

I wuv u!! u no i do hunni dnt collect any more plz plz plz
if ya wanna tlk jst tlk n ill listen i reallie will jst txt me n im here ill here no matter what

[Cazki]

I took quite a major od earlier. Feel ok though.

[smurf86]

why are you doing this to yourself hun?? Me and all these other people only want to help you but you refuse to listen why? sorry if isound harsh i just want to help you thats all xxx

[bleedingdragon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadow

I took quite a major od earlier. Feel ok though.

Ian,
Sorry ive not been here as much im struggling and tryin to stay safe
please listen to smurf86 and what we have said to you about ringing someone to get you immediate medical support while your damaging yourself.

Hugs, Please listen to smurf86, you need to get professional support right now for the od, why are you refusing to reach out Ian and get professional support. We are here for you at RYL but we see you just telling us how bad you are again and again then take an od.

we are still here to give u support but you need to get help outside ryl, and when youve got to that stage we will still be here. But YOU and ONLY YOU can take the next step, we cant do that step for you.

Youve got to break out of this cycle that your going through, we dont want to keep seing you damage yourself with ODs and wanting to kill yourself.

You tell me that you want to get better, to get better you need to ring someone and tell them your life is at risk and you need immediate medical support. Please find the strength to break out of this cycle you are going round and round. And not trying any of the suggestions weve given you.

We cant do anything but give you suggestions of where to get extra immediate help, and we are here waiting for you to reach out and tell someone else other than us here.

Dave

[Cazki]

im so sorry everyone i really dont know what to do tonight i woke up really confused this morning. My mum came to wake me up and she said to me i was talking about polka dots i was like oh my god i have no idea what i was thinking or what. Im sorry il go.......... and get lost like everyone keeps telling me too in a way.........................il get lost anyway......................

[Cazki]

I cant do this anymore i cant i cant i cant! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Everyone tells me i can get through this but i dont think i will. I cant do this much longer.............

[Ashleygray]

Ian, we're not telling you to "get lost", we're telling you to get help!
Please get help, you are really hurting yourself..

[whispers]

Ian. I'm sorry that you felt you had to overdose, and I'm sure you can understand that we're just concerned and want you to get help. If you haven't already, then please go to the hospital. If you're not willing to do that, then can I ask what you hope to gain by posting about it here?

No-one is telling you to get lost - a lot of us have put a hell of a lot of effort into supporting you, so please don't make it seem like that. We understand that it isn't easy, but if you won't do anything to help yourself, there's very little that we can actually do for you.

Take care.

[Cazki]

I pmd a first aider. first aider said i should be fine. Im sorry i know your not telling me to get lost im so sorry. I just cant stop thinking of it........................

[bleedingdragon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadow

I pmd a first aider. first aider said i should be fine. Im sorry i know your not telling me to get lost im so sorry. I just cant stop thinking of it........................

Ian ,
Thanks for talking on Msn,
As i said to you on Msn there are two choices you can take:

1) Get professional help immediatly for your ODing ,suicidal attempts
Which is what all of us is asking you to do in all our posts

2) Do nothing and keep posting about how you keep risking your life without doing anything about it, leads to internal damage and death

RYL is here to offer emotional support and everyone understand its hard for you in the grip of depression and suicidal thinking to make the choices you need to,

but YOU and ONLY YOU can make the choice

you must try and get professional help, otherwise posting here will not make your situation get any better. It wont matter how many posts you do here mate it wont change your situation until YOU GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW.

no one here can do anymore for you than tell you what you need to do
wether you take that choice is up to you.

i hope you do .

Dave

[Dan]

Yea, so far it's been the same stuff said over all the pages, we need you to get help, we can't do it for you.