Ally you did so well to do that, I know it doesn't feel like it but you have. I think your head is getting louder because you fought it but each time you take a step towards getting better it is knocking down the ED. Keep talking on here if it helps. Love you lots and lots
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Honey, no purging. Talk to staff and let them know that you are having urges to purge and might not be safe to be left with an open bathroom. Please be careful. I love you.
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
Jess I will try, I think they know anyway that I can't really be trusted with an open bathroom because they know about my purging urges. And I dont lie so if I say I wont purge with it open I have to keep that promise. But I dont think I can make that promise right now.
*hugs lots*
Ally sweet. Keep on going, you are doing so well to even still be inpatient right now. you are keeping to it for whatever reason that may be. try to focus on the positive things you can tell yourself. you will get thru this... you will.
promises are hard to keep but you are the best at keeping them, when you make them, somthing in you wants to make it. and then its all forcing to keep it from there on in.
you can do this. x
Bad night, want to harm want to die, can't keep doing this anymore. I have to show them "happy Ally" when I feel like I'm dying inside.
If this is going to be my life then I just cannot do it. I'm sorry.
Show them your true self honey so they can help. If you show them "happy Ally" they will think you're ok when you're dying inside. We have faith in you that you can get through and complete the treatment, you just have to find that faith in yourself xx
Ally you don't have to show them your "Happy Ally", they are there to support you. They need to know what's going on so they support you in the best way possible. Hold in there hunny, I have faith in you, that you will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Ally, this is not going to be your life! There is so much more to you than your illness. Your illness does not define you! Can you talk to somebody about how you are feeling? You will not feel like this forever.
You just can't give up! You are a fighter, and I know you can beat this. And you should be honest about your feelings with the staff so they can best help you. You don't need to pretend you are feeling something that you aren't.
*more hugs*
Love you.
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
thanks guys, I will try to be more open with them I just feel like a massive failure and I dont want to show people that. I dont want them to see how disgusting "real Ally" is.
But you've been mistaken...the real Ally is beautiful inside AND out, loving, an amazing friend, has beautiful eyes, is smart, strong, and friendly and all around lovable!
Truly love, I wouldn't say these things if I didn't think they were true. And you are not a failure at all! The only way you will fail is if you give up completely. Which I know you might feel like giving up sometimes, but you are so strong and you keep fighting. Never lose hope baby girl.
XOXOXOX
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
Hey sweetheart, popping in to reming you im here & thinking of you, I really hope your doing OK today & I hope you managed to get some sleep.
You need to show the "real Ally" to the the correct help sweetheart, putting your brave happy front up, is just another wall for the people trying to help to knock down.
thankyou so much for replying Loz when I know how hard things are for you right now. Love you heaps, hang in there. And thankyou for saying that I'm glad that I could help even just a little bit.
Guess what? Just for something new... I feel like ****. had breakfast with my psych (he comes in every Tuesday morning and has brekky with the group), I dont know why that was so challenging but it was.
I feel a little more positive today, but my ED voice is still so so loud, questioning everything I do, screaming at me every time I eat or drink, every time I try to do something to defy it.
They keep telling me it will get easier, but it's not it's getting harder.
I want to recover so much, but I am finding this so so hard I dont even know if recovery is possible anymore.
