I googled the church and there was the facility to email the Reverand.....and I did and now im scared. I sent a crappy email as i needed to drink to have the courage....how weak is that. I told him everything..i mean everything.
Rowie i think that you have done the right thing.You were so brave to write that and im really proud of you.i hope wriitng helped and that you are as safe as you can be.And i really hope you get a reply.You sure deserve one.Well done.xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Rowie, i do think you have done the right thing. The way i see it is you have absolutely nothing to lose really.
One thing i will say though is don't necessarily expect a reply quickly or even at all. When i got married i tried to use the email there to organise things and never got a reply, when i eventually called them they told me they don't use the emails so much. I just worry this church might be the same and you might wait a while. I hope not though.
Yeah i agree with Mrs Sam.Thats a good point.ive tried to contact people before [not necessarily the church] and later found that they dont use emails anymore.Its comething to bear in mind.i would hate you to think they might be ignoring you when im sure they would not.
Perhaps wait a while and then send by post etc if necessary?
How are you doing now?i still think your so brave.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Thanks Sam and kath...so far ive not had a reply. Ive not heard anything.
I do feel kind of deflated. It took alot out of me to write to them and all for nothing.
We could find the phone number, but the moment has gone...and besides,
I wouldnt beable to talk to him on the phone and i wouldnt expect my husband to do the talking for me.
Im scared now that if i go to the church to just to sit and 'be' with my emotions I will reinforce the deal that I made, infact i know i will.
I feel that I wish he hadnt replied and then i would have a good excuse not to face up tp things. But, he has taken time to read my email and reply and has offered to meet me and apart from feeling scared i have no other reason not to go.
I feel scared in that what if it isnt the answer to everything that im hoping for...is it what im hoping for? Am I ready to let go of my harming? I dont feel I am. Im not sure im prepared to take a risk with my sons life, just from words that some stranger has imparted on me.
I was brought up to be a christian, but im not religious, but then i believe in some higher being else i wouldnt have pleaded during desperate times
I feel confused and i feel as though i want to run away from it all xx
The choice is in your hands, you can go back to not facing things or you can choose to fight. Sending that email was choosing to fight, so I hope you continue down that path. You deserve to free from this but only you have the power to change things. Meeting the reverand sounds like a good step forward and possibly something that could be helpful. What have you got to lose? Can you feel any worse than you already are?
Last edited by crazykat : 13-11-2010 at 02:17 PM.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
i am so glad he replied.So so glad cos as Crazykat said writing that email was fighting. You Rowie fighting, the Rowie i know and love.And you can build upon this.
This is your choice but you can do this if you want to.You have started this process so bravely - just take it at your own pace but i believe you can fight and come through and we will be here for you.
And i also totally agree with Crazykat i can understand your worried about dashing your hopes or whatever but on the other hand you are so ill right now, you seem to be feeling so bad what have you possibly got to lose in the grand scheme of things?
Its your decision.im here and will care whatever you do but perhaps just give it all some more thought when your ready.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
When im in a better frame of mind I will email Nick back and try to arrange a day when we can meet. You are both right and i really appreciate your honesty xx
so it seems that i cant do anything right at home now
always criticised, never good enough
it feels like its them against me the whole time
ive had enough
yeah i feel crap today, probably due to coming off chlorpromazine
a very wise man once told me, religion is man-made, love and compassion are from God.
if you believe in God and what the Bible tells you, then 'religion' doesn't come into it.
also... noticed your therapist is also called Amanda, do you think of me when you see her? Imagine me sitting on her shoulder.... actually don't, concentrate on what she is telling you!
Meet with the preist, hashing it over from a different point of view could bring some cleansing, if not healing. I'm sure the preist will tell you that God is good and that all bad comes from the devil, whom in being human we are weak to. You know what, I've struggled when my friend died and 2 year later her nan died too, but I guess God needed a new sunshine and mother hen or he wouldn't have taken them home. Sometimes living is too much and God can't see us suffer so much, maybe that's why he takes children because he can't bear to see them hurt.
love you x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
